She stared at him, incredulous, her blue-green eyes wide with shock and confusion. How could he do this to her, ask this of her, suggest this of her, when he, better than most, knew her past, all the hurt?
"So... I don't really understand why you're so mad about this." He said calmly, staring back at her, his own green-blue eyes almost uncaring.
He doesn't understand!? The thought burned through her mind, scorching her reasonable sense.
"How can you not understand!? Is-is saying 'I love you' not enough for you!? Is it not enough that I love you, that I tell you that, that-that..." She paused, not to gather her wits, more to catch her breath. Yelling was hard work. "It's not enough that I love you, I have to show you physically!?" She screamed, anger and lack of breath flushing her face, "I have to-have to FUCK you to prove it?" She spat the word, it's meaning and disrespect of something that was supposed to mean something leaving a bad tase in her mouth.

~~~~

He glanced at her sharply, she was totally blowing things out of proportion. He was sure that it had been a harmless comment, they joked about it all the time. He knew what had happened to her in the past, but to him the past was just that, the past, and it had little or no relevance in the present.
He was the type of person who took everything in stride, let it all just flow, catching on when it mattered to him.
Sure, they had talked about sex, and he knew she wasn't a virgin, so that wasn't her real problem. It was, it seemed, that he just wasn't good enough for her. Whatever it was that was her problem was probably just Pms or something.
"Look, it was a harmless comment, I just said that I bought 'things'." He told her, her angry eyes beginning to unnerve him.

~~~~

She looked away from him, her anger melting into a look of disgust at his ignorance. All that sex had ever gotten her was heartache, wrenching pain when someone she loved more than she could describe decided he was done with her after using her for sex. There were no other reasonable explanations for it. That was what they were using her for. The first time she had ever had sex, he had left her within a month, with no reasonable explanation at all, and the second she had been with for eleven months and the only excuse he gave her was 'he didn't love her anymore'.

That one had stung a bit more, likely because of the length of the relationship and the fact that he had lied to her for a month. The first time she had said 'I love you' his response was 'I know', and the last thing she had said to him before he broke up with her was 'I love you'. Again, his response: 'I know'. After that, she knew it was over, but she felt she at least deserved an explanation, so it came.
"It's not that I don't like you..." Was the first thing he had to say, "But for about a month now, something's felt different." It had been less than a month since they had last had sex, and less than a month since he had last told her he loved her.

It had broken her heart, and she truly believed that he had used her too. She forced herself not to cry, and left with dignity, the little she had left, taking the tiny remnants of her heart and letting him leave her life forever.

It was a few months later that she had found out that he had told people that he had dated her for a 'pity party' or because he felt sorry for her, and she couldn't find words to describe the hurt that turned to hate.

~~~~

Trusting men, that had taken a bit more time. Her current boyfriend had the short end of the stick, having to deal with her, a loveless type, trying very hard not to let herself love him, even though she knew she was just being stupid as she already did. She was letting something that had nothing to do with him get in the way of her being with him and being happy. She thought she treated him like dirt, shrugging him off sometimes when she wasn't feeling touchy, becoming reserved and bitchy for no reason at all.

Thinking about it now, she could feel the teardrops slowly trickling down her face. "I'm sorry." she whispered, the hurt in her voice so very raw, so apparent. "I'm so mean to you, and you're so.... so there, so helpful, so understanding. My outburst had little to do with you, it's partially because I'm tired and..." She stopped short. She making excuses. She was letting herself compare him to someone lesser than he was, when she wanted that least of all.
"I really, truly do love you... I just don't know how to tell you..." She looked up at him, her eyes shining with still unshed tears, her apology reflected within them.

~~~~

His arms circled around her and pulled her close, his chin rested on top of her head, and for a few moments, she remained stiff and unbelieving, rigid against him. Could he forgive her when she was so dumb about something that meant nothing?
Slowly, hesitantly, her arms wrapped around him in return and she stilled her tears.
Love was a fickle thing, and judging it before it really had a start was like killing it off before it even had a chance to try. This time, maybe, if she let it, it could work.