The Call

By: Elise Haskell

The phone was ringing, somewhere in the back of his mind. He was perhaps too far gone in his dream to care, but slowly as the ringing didn't stop, he began to wake up. It was like something pulling on his mind, nagging at his senses.

"Wake up Colin! Just wake the fuck up!"

Colin gave in, and woke up. He saw the phone at the other end of the room, ringing to no end. Why couldn't they just give up already? He looked over at his clock by the bed and saw that it was only 8:30AM. He couldn't believe it, why the hell was someone phoning so damn early? He wanted to run over to the phone and break it . . . but that would involve getting of bed.

The ringing still didn't stop, and Colin finally dragged himself out of bed, taking his blanket with him. He crawled across the floor, and finally picked up the receiver and held it to his ear.

"What the fuck?" Colin answered the phone as politely as he could muster.

"Colin? That you? Oh fuck I need some help man . . . Oh fuck . . . " The worried voice came on the other end of the line. Even in his tired state he could recognize that the voice belonged to Sam.

"Lucy, you got some 'splaining to do . . . " he mumbled, his head falling onto his arm, his eyes half closed. He had only been asleep for maybe three hours. Best friends should no better than to phone so damn early.

"Colin I, ah . . . Oh fuck man," his voice choked and Colin's eyes opened. Something was wrong. "Something fucked up happened. Oh fuck . . . "

The other end seemed to go silent for a few seconds, but then Sam came back on.

"I need some fucking help man. Fuck!" The line went dead.

Colin lay on the floor for a few seconds completely stunned. He couldn't for all the life in him understand what Sam had been going on about, but he knew it had to be bad. Sam, although not known for being terribly sane, was known for keeping his calm. He did not sound calm. The thought that maybe Sam had gotten a bad batch of drugs crossed his mind, but that didn't seem to fit either. Crazy, perhaps; dumb, definitely not.

Dialing his friend back, answered no questions. Either the line was off the hook, or Sam had phoned someone else. Colin was sure it was the former.

Placing the phone back onto the receiver he slowly got off of the floor and started to find clothes. The process was slow, and there were far too many times when he almost dragged himself back into bed, but finally he managed to make it to the door, grabbed his car keys, sunglasses and coat and was outside. His dark brown hair wasn't spiked, and his green-hazel eyes were still partially closed, but otherwise he looked fine as he got into his car and started driving toward Sam's.

He didn't look nearly as tired as he felt.

"Sam, you better have a limb hacked off or something," Colin muttered rather menacingly to the review mirror, his unshaven face staring back at him. "Fucking nine in the morning . . . " He groaned, and almost turned around to go back to bed, but knew that he had to at least make sure everything was all right before he could.

Colin had known Sam for a long time, almost too long. The first day of junior high, grade seven, found Colin sitting all by his lonesome, waiting for the year to officially begin when a scruffy looking kid with black hair, a wicked smile and eyes to match sat down beside him. And things just proceeded from there.

Sam was a complete smart-ass, and a menace to society - something he took great pride in. Colin liked hanging around Sam because it made him look more innocent, while Sam liked hanging around Colin because he was nowhere near innocent and could always charm Sam out of trouble. In junior high they pulled pranks on everyone they met, in high school they would talk back to teachers, skip most of their classes, broke dress codes, conduct codes and whatever other rules the school had and simply understood each other.

They could also count on each other. They always knew that they would be loyal to each other and be there for each other. Even when sometimes in high school they were off with other friends, they always knew that no matter what they would be friends forever. It was for that reason that now, months after they had both graduated from said high school, that Colin was now driving towards his friend's house to see if he was ok or not.

Though truly the question wasn't if Sam was all right, the phone call answered that question for him. The question was what the problem was, something that Colin wasn't trying to think of because he didn't want to imagine anything bad. His worst case scenario at the moment was that Sam was playing a prank on him. It didn't seem so far fetched to him . . .

Sam's house came into view, and Colin could see from the parking lot that both Sam's and his parent's cars were gone, which made Colin begin to question whether or not Sam was even home when he had made the call to him. Not being able to tell for sure, Colin decided to just go and knock on the door.

At first nothing happened. Colin ringed the doorbell, and nobody answered. He stood there for a few minutes, and then rang the doorbell again, but he didn't think anyone would answer. They were either asleep or just not home. Maybe something had happened to Sam, but he didn't seem to be around to explain what.

Colin turned to leave and then he heard the door open, he didn't have a chance to react as he suddenly felt someone grab his shoulder and pull him inside the house. He regained his balance as he heard the door close and then he saw Sam standing before him, looking tired and almost afraid. And around his left eye was a fast forming bruise.

The first thing to hit him though was the smell. Sam absolutely reeked of alcohol.

"Fuck man! Where did you go last night?" Colin asked, waving his hand in front of his face.

Sam then stepped forward, and Colin saw that Sam's dark brown eyes were bloodshot. "Something fucked up happened." Sam spoke with urgency.

"So you said on the phone . . . " Colin looked around the house, it was dark and empty. "What happened?"

"... I didn't know what to do, I don't even really know what happened. It was . . . " Sam looked almost lost. "I did something fucked up."

"Well. What happened?" It was early. His patience was nonexistent.

Sam looked around nervously, he was acting so uncharacteristically. Colin was used to him being so in control all of the time. It was unnerving - truly unnerving for Sam to be freaking out like this. He almost didn't want to know what was making Sam so damn upset . . . but he knew that he had to find out, because he couldn't ignore something that could be this upsetting.

Then Sam started crying. Colin almost didn't notice at first because his eyes were so red, but then he noticed a tear run down Sam's face, he quickly wiped it away.

"Come downstairs," he choked out and walked past Colin to the stairs on their left that led to the basement, where both Sam and his brother Justin had their rooms.

With a slight fear growing in his heart, Colin followed his best friend into his basement, a root they had taken millions of times, but never with so much intent. They were going towards Sam's bedroom, and with every step Colin began to wonder what might be in there. Drugs? A dead body? A trashed room? Maybe he had come home to find his bedroom stolen of all its valuables. Colin crossed that out of his mind though when he remembered that Sam owned nothing of any value.

They were at the door and Sam opened it, he walked in and Colin followed.

Out of all the things that had gone through Colin's mind about what might be in the room, this had been the last thing on his mind. His blood actually ran cold as he began to grasp the situation. He couldn't believe what he was looking at. A million explanations ran through his head, and he stood there for an entire minute just staring, letting it sink in.

"Holy shit . . . " Colin whispered, the only words that seemed to enter his mind as he stared at the bloody girl lying on Sam's bed. Her clothes were torn, she was covered in blood, but she was alive. And then he recognized her, a girl they both knew from school, Amy Walsh.

"...Colin . . . ?" Sam's voice wafted into his head.

Thinking seemed impossible right then, the only thing that went through his mind was anger and confusion. He turned towards Sam and before he even knew what he was doing, he felt himself punching Sam. Sam fell to the floor, holding his face, and Colin jumped on him, grabbing his collar, yelling into his face.

"WHAT THE FUCK!?! HAVE YOU LOST YOUR FUCKING MIND!?! WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO TO HER!?! WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER!?!"

Sam shook his head, he didn't look scared anymore, he looked guilty, or sad. Tears running down his face, the smell of alcohol coming out of his mouth. Colin let him go, changed his mind and then punched him again. He started walking towards Amy, but then walked back to Sam and kicked him.

"WHAT THE FUCK!?!"

Finally he left Sam on the floor and went over to Amy. He put his hand on her face and she winced, her face contorted in pain. Not from the touch, he realised, but from the memory. He started checking her arms, feeling for broken bones. He was trying desperately to ignore Sam behind him. He couldn't understand what had happened. How it could have happened was beyond him.

"Is she...?" Colin tried asking the question. "Did you rape her?" He couldn't look at Sam, but continue to look at the hurt girl in front of him, his heart sank. He quickly checked her over and with some relief couldn't find any broken bones, but he could still see that she was badly hurt.

There was silence behind Colin, and then the quiet reply came. "Yes."

She was hurt and she had been raped. She had been raped. She had been raped by . . .

Colin closed his eyes, trying to calm himself, then he finally turned back to Sam who was now sitting against the wall, looking at him with a face that was begging for help.

"Talk," his intense gaze piercing Sam's soul.

"It was . . . " Sam looked absolutely helpless, Colin almost felt pity for him. Almost. "It was . . . It was an accident."

Colin gritted his teeth. "Say that again, and I'll kill you."

Sam shook his head, looking around the room like he was lost. "Things got out of hand, I was drunk . . . I don't know. I didn't want this . . . "

"But you did this?" Colin asked, almost wanting Sam to deny it all and begin spewing some incredible story about how he was completely innocent, etc., etc. . . . But that's not what happened.

Sam nodded.

"Where's Justin?" Colin asked through gritted teeth.

"He left . . . " Sam's throat sounded dry. "He took my car and left."

"And your parents?"

"Gone, for the weekend . . . "

Now it was Colin's turn to look at his friend pleading for help. "Why?"

A tear ran down his face as Sam shook his head once more. "I don't know."

***

"Don't, fucking, move," Colin said, stressing his words. He was standing in the living room, and Sam was on the couch.

"You haven't called the cops yet." Sam pointed out in a quiet voice.

"Don't fucking talk either!" Colin snapped and walked away, he only looked back once to make sure Sam was staying absolutely still.

He knew that he hadn't phoned the police yet, what he didn't know was why he hadn't phoned the police yet. He had meant to, he was going to drag Sam up the stairs, and then phone the police, but the second he got to the top of the stairs, all he could do was tell Sam to sit down and shut up. He wanted to call the cops, but he couldn't.

Maybe it was because Sam had always been there for him and now he felt that he had to be there for him. Maybe it was because he still felt that somewhere down the line there had been a mix-up and he would walk downstairs to find Amy awake and she would tell him that it was a horrible prank, or a stupid mistake. Or maybe it was just because Sam was his best friend, and he just couldn't turn him in so easily.

Colin found himself in the basement again, he went into the bathroom down there and grabbed a face cloth. He ran it under the tap, the whole time looking at himself in the mirror. A part of him was screaming to just call the cops, because there was a hurt girl in the other room who needed help, who needed medical attention . . . And there was a boy upstairs who needed a real kick in the ass. Yet, he walked out of that room and went to Amy, not even looking at a phone.

"Amy," he whispered gently to the girl, taking a seat beside her and placing the cloth on her face, cleaning away the blood, only to reveal small cuts and bruises. He felt cold. How could someone . . . How could Sam do something like this? "Amy?" He asked again, her face was contorted in pain again and he took her hand away feeling nothing but guilt.

What was wrong with him? He knew better, everyone knew better. When someone was hurt, you went and got help. Even if it was a stranger, you got help. You phoned the police. 9-fucking-1-1. When it was your friend . . . like Amy was his friend, you didn't hesitate for one fucking second. Not even one. You're around a friend hurt for longer than a second, then you've already phoned the police. How long had he been there?

He wanted to kick himself. He couldn't figure out what to do. Stay and watch Amy. Go upstairs and kick the shit out of Sam. Phone the police . . .

"Phone the police," he muttered to himself, holding her head in his hands. He didn't want to. It was such an unbearable thought to phone the police on Sam of all people. Sam, a trouble maker to the core - for sure . . . But also his best friend. The friendship had always come first. Always. He knew Sam, he thought he did at least, and the Sam he knew would never, ever do something like this. It was inconceivable.

Colin kicked the bed and stood up. He was going to go upstairs and then he'd know what to do, he just had to get away from-

"SAM!" Amy suddenly screamed, sitting up in bed, her eyes open with fear.

"Amy! Amy what happened!?!" Colin yelled, getting on one knee, his hands firmly on her shoulder. "Tell me what happened!"

And then Amy's eyes closed and she collapsed in his arms.

"Amy? Amy!?! Wake up!!" Colin yelled, shaking her, but then he feared hurting her and gently laid her back down.

"Is she ok?" A worried voice suddenly came from the doorway.

Colin's head shot to the side, a murderous glare on his face. "You!" He yelled. He got up and started walking towards Sam, looking like he might kill his best friend.

Sam began to back up, fear on his own face, his mouth open but no words coming out.

"I told you to stay the fuck upstairs!" Colin yelled, grabbing the back of his neck.

"Ow fuck," Sam complained.

"Shut the fuck up!" Colin almost screamed, throwing Sam on the stairs. "Get up. Now!"

Sam scrambled up the stairs as fast as he could, by the time Colin was finally at the top Sam was back to the couch, a nervous look imprinted on his face.

Colin looked at him for a few seconds, regaining what little composure he had left. He sat down in the chair opposite the couch and took a deep breath. He wasn't looking at him.

"Ok . . . What happened?"

Silence. Sam wasn't too sure if Colin wouldn't explode at him again - not that he really blamed him.

"Sam. You were drinking."

"Midterms ended yesterday . . . I was celebrating . . . "

"Amy was with you?"

"No, I was by myself. Amy came over . . . I don't know why . . . Oh why the fuck did she come over?" Sam laid his head back, staring at the ceiling.

"But what happened?"

"We started fighting . . . I was drunk . . . "

"Fuck man. You can't even give me a straight answer?"

"I don't know what happened!!!" Sam yelled, their eyes met. Colin was shocked, Sam seemed to finally be coming out of his trance. The shock quickly turned to anger.

"Hey! You don't get to be angry!"

Sam got to his feet. "Just call the fucking police!"

"I can't!"

Sam sat back down, a calm seemed to settle over him.

"We're not getting anywhere like this . . . " Colin muttered to himself.

"Is Amy ok?"

"I don't know, why don't you tell me? You're supposed to be the smart one. You're the one off at University. Well some good that's done you!"

"Just say what you want to say!"

"Sam! You do not want me to say what I want to say!"

Sam paused. "Say it."

"You're a fuck up. You've always been a fuck up. You always will be a fuck up. And you like dragging everyone down with you!"

The two stared at each other, years of friendship slipping through their fingers. It was like everything they had ever done together had never mattered. Their loyalty was never real, their conversations never meant anything and their friendship had never existed. Sam was just a fuck up and they both knew it.

Colin looked away and Sam felt a lump in his throat. "What do you want me to say? I'm sorry? Because I am!"

"I don't think you are. I think you knew you were going to get in trouble and called me to get you out of it." Their eyes locked. "There's no way out of this Sam." Then Colin stood up and left to go back downstairs.

As he walked downstairs, he felt the world blur around him. The stairs seemed to tilt underneath him, and yet he still managed to keep his footing, he still managed not to fall, even though he felt like the world was pulling him down. The basement seemed exaggerated, everything becoming darker and brighter than it used to be. Everything was colder, or maybe it was just his blood running cold. Then he felt the metal of the doorknob in his hand and heard someone moving in the room, heard her.

She was awake.

He wanted to open the door, go inside and ask her what had happened, and if she was all right. Then he could phone the police and hand over an innocent girl and a bastard upstairs to the police and he cold go home and this horrible day could end and . . . and nothing would ever be the same again. He let go of the doorknob.

***

Amy took a deep breath and let her vision clear. She looked around the room and recognition came over her. Sam's room. Her heart went cold as everything from the night before went through her head. A million and one things went through her head. Where was he? Did what she think happened actually happen? It was insane to think that, just insane.

She closed her eyes, racking her brain, trying to remember everything. She could remember coming over and drinking alcohol and then things got blurry and yet there was one thing that suddenly jumped out at her. Colin's face, yelling for her. Was Colin here? Had he been here last night or was it just some past memory that was suddenly surfacing?

Her mind stopped dead and her breathing stopped as she heard a noise from outside the room. Someone in the basement. Her heart began to pound, her mind raced, and slowly she began to stand up. She had to know who was outside and then she had to get help.

The second she was on her feet she felt nauseous. Her stomach hurt and she put her hands on it, trying to ignore the pain. Slowly she made her way to the door, her hands shook as she reached out for the doorknob and she quietly opened the door, it swung open and . . . and she was met with an empty hallway in the basement.

"Oh God . . . " she breathed a sigh of relief and kneeled against the doorway, her stomach hurting even worse now. She slid down and curled up in a ball. She wasn't going insane, she had heard someone in the basement, was it someone who could help her? Or was it someone . . . else?

Her eyes felt like they were burning and she chocked back a sob. She had come here for help. She had come here for help . . . and all she got was . . .

Tears began to fall down her face and Amy realised she was crying, she covered her face with her hands and let it come out. It hurt too much to not cry. Everything just hurt so much. She just wanted to go home and try to forget everything.

***

Colin was glued to the wall of the staircase, he could hear her crying and it broke his heart. What the hell was he doing? This was bigger than he thought, it wasn't just about Sam fucking up beyond belief, it as about her. She had been hurt and he wasn't doing anything to help her, he might as well have raped her himself.

He couldn't take it anymore. He couldn't listen to her crying for one second longer. As quietly as he could, he began to walk up the stairs, her crying disappeared in the background as he reached upstairs and closed the door behind him.

Suddenly he saw Sam standing in the doorway of the living room.

"What?" Colin hissed at him, but kept his voice down as to not let Amy hear him.

"I'm gonna take a shower . . . and then I'm gonna call the police."

Colin was speechless for a second. Was Sam for real? He looked at his face, into his eyes and Colin knew that Sam was in fact going to call the police. Sam was going to take responsibility for his actions.

"Ok." Colin said quietly. He began to wonder about what the future held for Sam. He would go to jail, for how long? And then what? They'd probably never see each other again, that was almost positive and the thought hurt Colin. He was going to lose his best friend. "Ok," Colin said again, nodding.

Sam turned around and headed for the washroom.

As Sam closed the door behind himself, Colin sat down in the living room and buried his hands in his face remembering all the good times Sam and him had shared, but were now only a memory. He felt something wet on his face and knew that it had to be tears. He quickly wiped them away and straightened himself up. Sam wasn't worth crying over.

***

The door closed and Sam found himself in the washroom. Before him was a window and as he looked at it he felt empty and completely alone. What had he been thinking? Why the hell had he done that? It made no sense, nothing made sense any more and would probably never make any sense again.

He turned on the shower and started taking off his clothing, and then he turned around and saw himself in the mirror. It sickened himself. There was Sam Anderson, the rapist. He lunged forward, hitting the mirror with everything left in him, it shattered. He took a few steps back, surveying the damage as blood ran down his hand.

Blood. Amy's face ran through his mind, pain-stricken and covered in blood. It was his fault, all his fucking fault... He was suddenly entranced by his hand, the cuts he could see there, but he didn't feel pain... he felt something... but what? It didn't matter . . . something was far better than nothing.

Sam, went back to the mirror and picked up a shard of glass that had fallen into the sink. He held it up, tears were rimming his eyes. Nothing mattered anymore. He had made the last mistake of his life and there was nothing left to do anymore. His life was gone. He swallowed hard and stepped into the shower.

***

Colin looked towards the bathroom door.

What had he just heard? Did something break? He wasn't sure, there were just too many sounds. Amy was crying in the basement, crying so hard Colin was beginning to think she was in pain. The shower was on in the bathroom, and that took away most of the sound there . . . but it sounded like something had broken.

A horrible thought crossed his mind. What if Sam had broken the window? What if he was trying to escape. Leaving the fall to Colin.

"Sam!" Colin didn't care if Amy heard him or not. "Sam open the door!"

Amy heard the banging and the voice, she tried to quiet down her sobs and listen. Someone was in the shower and someone was banging on the door . . . Someone who sounded familiar.

It was Colin's voice, she realised with hopefulness. Colin calling out for Sam. Was Sam in the shower? Where was Justin? What about their parents? No, none of that mattered. What mattered was that Colin had come to rescue her.

"Colin!"

Colin could hear yelling from downstairs. "She knows I'm here," he thought to himself. Colin gave up on knocking and threw himself against the door, it didn't give. He began kicking at it and throwing himself on it again and again, screaming for Sam to open up and then the door gave and Colin fell into the room.

He looked up and saw the window un front on him, in one piece. Then he noticed something on the floor, shards of a mirror and . . . drops of blood.

Colin was quickly on his feet and he saw lying in the bath Sam, blood and water mixed together. Colin felt faint or sick or scared, he wasn't too sure. His face was white, Sam seemed to be out of it, and then from the basement he heard her.

His mind tore in two. He wanted to stay so badly and make sure that Sam was fine . . . but he couldn't. Amy was downstairs hurt because of this man, crying because of this man, and him himself had only made it worse.

"COLIN PLEASE!!! PLEASE BE THERE COLIN!!!

He left Sam in a blind run and ran down the stairs where he found Amy in the middle of the basement's hallway, crawling towards the stairs. She looked up and saw Colin and her eyes lit up. He got down on his knees and she wrapped her arms around him, knocking the air out of him. She began crying, burrowing her head into his shirt.

"I was so scared!!! He's still here! He's still here!!!"

"It's going to be all right Amy. I'm here now," he held her close, tears running down his face. "I'm here now."

***

The police and ambulance arrived second apart from each other. They rushed in and found Colin and Amy on the couch, Amy in hysterics, not being able to let go of Colin until they tore her away. It all happened so fast that Colin wasn't sure if it was even happening.

Colin could remember coming back upstairs, but actually picking up the phone and calling 9-1-1... that he couldn't remember doing, maybe just because he didn't want to. So he just remembered sitting with Amy and staring at the bathroom door, waiting for Sam to walk out of it . . . but he never did.

He watched as they took Amy away and then as Sam was carted out. Sam's face was pale, his eyes stared up into nothingness, pale, without life . . . but he was still breathing and even though Colin couldn't remember hating anyone so much before, he still felt a sigh of relief. His friend was alive. His friend would be all right.

Policemen talked to him, but he was sure that he could find no real answers for them, so he kept silent trying to clear his mind of the past few hours, trying to place things into perspective. Not too long after they came, they put Colin into the back of their car and drove him downtown. In the car he found himself crying again, for the friend he lost, and the other friend he betrayed. He was no hero he thought bitterly to himself, he was the bad guy.

***

"So all we need is your statement sir. It will only take a few minutes."

Colin almost laughed at the thought of this taking a few minutes. His statement... what was his statement? Certainly not the truth to them. "Sam called me, and he sounded worried. He told me that something 'fucked up' happened and he was nervous and then he hung up." Colin spoke without feeling or care. In one way, he didn't care anymore.

"You went over there?" There were two policemen questioning him. They had sat him down at a desk and gave him a cup of coffee once they had arrived at the station, and now around six hours and twelve cups of coffee later they had come back to question him.

"I had to . . . He's my best friend." I should have said 'was', Colin thought to himself. 'He was my best friend.'

"So what'd you find when you got there."

"I found Sam in the shower cut to pieces and Amy crying in the basement."

"Did Sam or Amy say anything to you?"

Colin looked straight into their eyes. "Nothing."

"You sure?"

"Pretty sure, yeah."

"Just . . . " Colin was losing his patience. "Are they all right?"

The cops looked at each other. One nodded and the other turned to him. "Your friend Sam is going to be fine . . . Amy . . . Amy lost her baby."

"H-her what?" Colin looked up, shock in his eyes.

"Her baby. You did know she was pregnant right?"

Colin nodded, his face expressionless once more.

"Now, do you know where Justin Anderson is?"

"Justin? No Sam . . . Well Sam didn't tell me where he was . . . obviously. What does it matter anyway?"

"Well generally we like to catch the bad guy."

"The bad guy? What are you guys talking about?"

"Justin Anderson raped your friend Amy. We have her testimony."

"But Sam-!"

"He pleaded guilty, that's true, but we checked DNA and all that, it didn't match."

"What do you mean DNA? What are you talking about?"

The policeman sighed. "Amy Walsh managed to fight back, and in doing so cut her assailant, who she claims is Justin. We found blood on her and her clothing that wasn't hers and when it didn't match Sam's, we concluded that it must have been Justin's. Also," the policeman continued speaking, ignoring the look of unease on Colin's face, "we took a sample of cum off of her. It wasn't Sam's."

"I don't understand..." Colin was shaking his head, everything that had happened today rushing through his head. He just couldn't understand why Sam had done all of that, said all of that when he had done nothing wrong...

"He was obviously trying to cover for his brother."

"But . . . Why . . . ?"

The policemen shrugged. "Looking out for his little brother I guess."

"Well sir, we're done here. We'll come and get you if we have any more questions." The policemen left and Colin felt his head swim. Amy had been pregnant, and Justin had been guilty.

"Oh fuck." Colin jumped up and ran out of the station as fast as he could. He had to get to the hospital. He had to see Sam. He had to know why? How could Sam make him think something like that!?!

Everything melted together as Colin made his way to the hospital, everything that Sam had said, everything that he had seem. He just couldn't figure out anything in his head. Time and space seemed to disappear as his mind tore itself into pieces trying to think . . . and then suddenly he was there. It was like walking in a dream, making his way to Sam's room and standing beside his bed.

"Sam."

Sam's eyes slowly opened and he found Colin staring down at him.

Colin shook his head. "Why would you say you did it? Why would you make me think such a horrible fucking thing?"

"It wasn't about you . . . " Sam said with a weak voice.

"What the hell was it about?"

"My brother left..."

"And you didn't think that Amy might just tell them the truth!?!"

"I wasn't thinking, I was drunk too." Sam's voice was rising.

"But you made me believe . . . You made me hate you."

"It was Justin... my baby brother..."

"What happened last night? Tell me the truth." Colin pleaded and Sam looked up at him with sad eyes.

"I was out getting pissed drunk, and Amy came over to see me because . . . because she was pregnant . . . with my kid. We had kinda been seeing each other, but it was just fun and games... But..."

"Sam..."

"But I wasn't there! Justin was . . . and they started drinking and Justin . . . Fuck Justin had it bad for her, ever since he met her he's had it for her, and because I wasn't there he started fooling around and he didn't stop. Why the fuck couldn't he just stop!?! But he was drunk! He couldn't think straight!" Sam paused, and put his hand on his forehead.

"... When I got home it was too late to stop anything. He told me some of what happened, the rest I put together n my head . . . And I told him everything would be ok . . . That I'd be there for him, and he went outside for a smoke. He was going to come right back! He Just went out for a smoke . . . And I heard my car start up . . . " Sam covered his face with his arm. "He fucking left! And I knew that everyone would think that I fucking did it! Even you... I knew you'd think that I'd done it..."

"I wouldn't have thought that! Not in a million years would I have believed it except that you kept telling you had! Why the hell didn't you think I would believe you? I'm your best friend, aren't I?"

Sam looked over at him, his eyes calm and yet wholly sad. "You're my only friend . . . Justin's my only brother."

"Justin's a rapist."

"Colin . . . How's Amy? Is she all right?"

Colin felt his heart go cold. How was he supposed to tell him? That Amy... that his child... "Sam I have to tell you . . . about Amy . . . I have to tell you about Amy . . . " Colin couldn't get the words out, and the more he tried the less he seemed to be able to speak.

"Is Amy all right?" Sam softly asked, worry on his brow.

Colin sat down and put his hand on Sam's shoulder. "She's fine, but she . . . she lost the baby . . . She had a miscarriage . . . " Colin felt Sam shaking, crying silently, Colin felt himself cry as well.

Maybe if he had called the police sooner, then she wouldn't have had a miscarriage . . . and yet maybe . . . maybe even though it was a horrible though... Maybe things were better this way. His friends were alive, and they were still his friends. Isn't that what he wanted from the beginning? Wasn't that all he wanted?

"I'm sorry, I'm so fucking sorry," Sam choked out. Colin squeezed his shoulder.

"It's all right man, I'm here for you. Don't worry about it anymore, because I'm here for you, and I'm not leaving. So don't worry."

Colin stayed with Sam the rest of the night, and neither said a word to each other, not because there was nothing to say, but because they didn't need to say anything. They knew that they still had each other. It suddenly didn't matter how much they had fucked up, because their friend was right beside them, for the rest of their lives.