It was more than a simply, brotherly love. No, it was way more. It was a fairy tale, the perfect story, but there was a different. This ending was not very happy. It started with the day he told me.. ----------------------------- "Jeffie. you know I love you," he had whispered. I nodded and he touched my cheek with his palm. "And no matter what happens. we will never truly be apart. right?" I nodded, again not saying anything. I held my breath and he took a deep breath. "I'm dying, Jeffie." he whispered. ----------------------------- Even when I think about it now, I have the same feelings. First, its like a boulder is dropped on my head and is stuck. I can't breathe. It won't roll off, it just stays. Then I feel a totally new thing. Emptiness. I never witnessed emptiness, because I always had Jeff to fill me in. I didn't cry. He didn't want to see tears. And I knew I had to be strong for him. and for me as well. ----------------------------- "You will always be with me, Matt. no matter how far apart we are," I whispered. ----------------------------- It had been a day that Matt went in to chock. The doctors told me he had gotten scared and freaked out. ----------------------------- "But Jeffie. I don't want to let go!" he sobbed. "You don't have to Matt," I whispered. "People keep living through other people. in other people. Matt, I'm going to keep you alive forever. Maybe not physically, but the more important state of mind. mentally. I'm going to tell my children about you. And when I feel like I can, I'm going to write a book about our relationship. You will always be here." I took his hand and touched it to my heart. With that, I took my older brother in my arms and we cried together. That was the first day I cried since he told me. ----------------------------- He died a mere hour afterwards. The cancer cells took his life. but they did not take his soul. His soul is with me. Even today, two years after, I get flashbacks to his happiness, sadness and even his times of angriness. I remember the day he held me when I was born. I remember when we cried together when my mom died. I remember when we moved out of our dad's house together. I remember all of the wild parties we had with our friends and girlfriends. I remember the nights we stayed up late, talking and laughing and eventually falling asleep out in the living room. I remember. We grew up together. We became men together. And we will die together. To me, he is not dead. I have his soul in my heart. And I have our memories..