All my childhood I said ‘just pretend’, but as I grew, I was forced to face some harsh realities. Now I find myself wanting to pretend again, but can I?

“This pain just wont leave me, the blood floods from my veins, I cannot take this agony, please save me from myself” I very quietly sang to myself, while huddled up in the back of my closet behind the wall I ripped up, which was neatly hidden behind a rather messy row of hung clothing. My arms around my knees, leaning against the wall, eyes shut, I carefully concentrated on the notes I softly breathed out... The tune loud enough to bring across emotion yet light enough for it to not be heard.

I’m sitting in my sanctuary, my little private place to escape. Books lay scattered around me, all about teen social disasters, like me. Reading about people that have some of the same issues as myself made me feel better, although I knew it was just a temporary feeling. The pain would just return and wash away the slight happiness and satisfaction. Happiness. Pfft. What is happiness? Money? Popularity? Talent? I have none, so my only slight ‘happiness’ comes from singing words no one would ever take the time to listen to.

I hear footsteps. I hear a crash, no surprise. I don’t want to leave... But I know I can return to my peace shortly, after the torture. I emerge from the darkness to be carelessly take the plate of so called food. Our eyes meet for a micro-second, then you retreat. You’re frightened of me, love. But fuck, who isn’t? You are the center of my world however. Only you matter in my heart and soul of bloody dark. You’ll never understand my feelings. They’re so wrong. I’m discriminated enough for my individuality, but that of my appearance only, my mind and thought would definitely have me more attention than I’ll ever need or want. I want to escape. With you, my love. Only problem... You have yet to realize you are my love.

I pour the ‘food’ from the plate into a garbage in a dusty corner of my room. Spider webs cover the ceiling, gray and black shadows creep silently enveloping the room with a scary darkness. I crawl back into my escape from reality to curl up and try to sleep.

Short first chapter, what did you think? I’m starting a little slow; I never finish long fics. But I want to finish this... I have to, it’s my goal, review and keep me going... Please. -Kaleidosocio