You will never be able to understand what goes through a persons mind as they take their own life. You can be that persons best friend, and think that they tell you everything, but there are always secrets you will never know. There are some thoughts so deep and excruciating that you can never be able to judge how someone could murder themself. You always find yourself thinking along the lines of how someones life could be so devastating that they can no longer live through it. The thoughts that passed through her mind were sad and could understand where she came from by giving up. She was never known to be a fighter, but rather a girl who sat by and watched her whole world slowly crumble down, ten events at a time. The pressure avalanching down upon her, crushing her spirits and forcing her into a sleepless slumber, one where she was awake and conscious, but deep within her mind. Slipping farther into the black hole of faded emotions she felt as if she would be numb forever. The way she had trained herself to think had caused her to refuse to look back on all the memories, and all the tragedies, even all the happy times in her life. They were all depressing to her, all made her wonder how she let things slip through her grasp. She thought she had a pretty good hold on time, she thought she could maybe stop the things she didn't want to happen. She was made to believe she had the power to halt all evils she didn't want to trespass her life. This fairytale world of hers exploded into an array of lies, fury and hate. She was caught in a web of all these things, and the hungry spider was fast approaching.

Only he could make her smile, although even that was distorted and twisted, nevertheless the feeling was still the same. She loved him in such a way she never knew possible. Of all the memories and things that haunt her dreams at night.. he was the only thing she wanted to remember. All she wanted to think about. It was an obsession and she wished he felt the same way. The moment he came and saved her from her rapist her heart tried to piece itself back together. However.. when it shattered the pieces sliced through all her hopes and all her love. Her mind tried to mend them all, but failed. Even though he had saved her.. and he could have been with her.. the memories would haunt her so horribly every minute of every day, no happiness could shelter her from the pain. She just wasn't strong enough to face it.

While he was trying to fight off her rapist.. their father.. she moved without notice to the gun which had been thrown aside, forgotten by everyone but her. As she watched through puffy, swollen eyes her brother and her father fighting over her. Fighting for her. Tears fell down her cheeks, mixing with the blood from her wounds. Bruises throbbed all over her body, the cuts and sores stung on impact of her tears touching them. She watched in agony as her love and her hate fought to keep her alive, and keep her in pain. Slowly she lifted her gun to her left temple and opened her eyes wide, ignoring her pain, as it would be her last. He looked over at her and saw what she was doing. He dove to her as she screamed the words she had always wanted him to hear her say, the last words she'd ever say. With her last breath she pulled the trigger and instantly everything was dark. The silence was like a siren going off in the house. His tears hit the floor, splashing loudly as he lifted her and cradled her in his arms...

She never heard him tell her that he loved her too.