THE DIARY OF AN INSANE BUNNY CULTIST
(Only somewhat slightly kind of maybe based on reality)
Today is the most important of all days for the building of a
foundation that can withhold a strong, single-minded government. It is
necessary to dispatch our secret-rabbit-police upon all rebels to quell any
uprisings that may prevent our dear leader's rise to dictatorial power.
Must sleep. After looping toys R' us singing rabbit video for a half an
hour or so. (OCC: This is one of the true parts, sadly.) Must make up and
publish false advertising for the benefit of leader. Could perhaps have
saved mice from fire, babies from plane crash, small children or fish from
anti-rabbit party rebels. Must find way to take advantage of rodent nation
in serious depression and unemployment.
Have not slept. In two days. Dictatorial government making steady
incline to power of office. Must write leader's speech. Must invent more
pro-rabbit propaganda. Money isn't worth anything anymore. Should kill
Pro-Rabbit Propaganda and veggi-tale-like demagoguery sinking into
head of desperate, leaderless rabbits. Have increased mob. President very
nearly holds complete office. Was sooo, sooo easy. But cannot sleep or take
lunch brakes. Glowing mice constant bother. Constant insane chatter about
anti-rabbit dictatorial control and toast driving me crazy
Consider the days of democracy and 'free' elections over. Well I
mean we will still be having a democracy, technically, and we will hold
elections, but we will only need the name of our leader on the ballet.
Should still kill people. We will need some way to stay in office. I think
I shall invent a reptilian scape-goat so that our gov't can occupy
ourselves in the hunt for injust rodents and their slithery, evil, snakey
accomplices. Oh yes...yesh..yesh...MUAHAHAHH...
Sent in white ears to wipe out Mouse-party. Next...next we shall
target hampsters. Then when there is absolutely no political competition,
we will be free to create a new democracy for the people of our rodent
world. Yesh...I think I shall send some little mousies
Successfull wipe out of Hampster and Mousie parties. Must move on to
more obscure, less powerfull radicles. We can afford no variety of thought.
All hail the Rabbit Party! Mahahah mahahah hahahahahaha muahahahah. *cough*
Anyways. President's day is tomarro.
As yes, yesh...we wipe the little flea radicles away. There have been
a high percentage of political retirements and vacations of late. I do hope
that they enjoy their stay. Muaha- wait, one more thing, have not been
sleeping. But I have arranged a rabbit army masquerading as developers of
our fine rodent nation. Need to find more scapegoat-able
minorities...now...*clearing of through* Muahahah muahahh mah hahahah mu ah
ha ha ha ha mahahahah...
Shoooo... boring. There is absolutely nothing to write about. We have
destroyed most diversity, raised an army to conquer other mammal nations,
quieted a good portion of rebels and turned our country into a respectable
militaristic and slightly Rabbit-Party worshiping society. Ohh, leader felt
like passing law that said all classrooms must have a picture of Himself
hung up in them.
Cannot sleep. Don't understand. All is going well. White-Ears going
around, raiding and beating as usual...governmental peace and rest...
President passed another law- all schools must have a Peter Cottontail
based curriculum. Have abandoned all world history to worship Cottontail
and others. Have decided to scapegoat all farming animals since Peter C.
Was chassed by a farmer. Method of execution shall be...?
Ohhh...Writing has become skim. Have become an insomniac rabbit. ..
Have begun to see glowing mice following me. Chanting insanely about anti-
rabbit dictatorial control and toast. Toast is good. Dammit. Being rodent I
cannot eat toast. Wonder if can-shoo tired-scapegoat glowing mice.
I have not slept. There is an increase of glowing mice in my
peripheral vision. I hear chanting all day long while I am blacklisting
capitalist reptiles and rodents. So boring. Career destroying is only
amusing for so long. Leader passed law saying that all mice must be removed
from school. Mice are not allowed to hold jobs. Damn Glowing mice...must
sleep. The President is acting strange.
Oh GOD OF RODENTS! BUNNY GOD! The mice...the mice...THE MICE!!! They
are EVERYWHERE. Glowing, chanting..anti-rabbit party. I am starting to hear
their music as reason. I must talk to my dear leader about his strange