Under Pressure

Sometimes I look at myself

in the mirror and thoughts of

suicide and cutting go through my mind.

I manage to conquer it with your help.

You’re the only one I could

turn to, God.

I can’t tell my friends because

I’m too scared.

I trust them, but I’m afraid of what they’ll say.

It just happened recently.

I don’t cut myself.

I just think about it.

I guess it’s because

My parents always told me that

being first is always the best.

Being second is nothing.

I try to be a great student,

but I just end up being second.

It’s all right if I’m not a straight A student.

I’m just an average student.

I hate being compared.

I’m different.

Can’t my parents see?

They don’t understand, but I know that you understand.

You’ve always been there for me

even though I couldn’t see you.

I keep all these thoughts inside of me.

I’m such a hypocrite.

With my friends and my family,

I’m so happy and carefree,

but then when I’m alone, I’m sad.

All these thoughts are ruining me.

I hate it.

I spent all my time thinking about these thoughts.

I want to get away from it all,

but I’m under pressure.

No one knows but you.

I love you God.

Thank you for understanding me.