She watches the soft glow of the stars, taking comfort in their gentle
constant light. Her thoughts are jumbled, mixed thoroughly with her
emotions like a well tossed salad. Slowly, she begins tk sort herself out,
putting everything in a vague sort of order, just the way the stars are set
together.
Her first thoughts are her love. That itself is a constellation, made up
of many stars. She starts at the bottom. Her fears.
She knows what she fears the most. Losing him. This isn't the first time
she's loved, at least she doesn't think so. But she has never before felt
this strongly for anyone. She's tried, oh she's tried so hard, to pin
down the reason she loves him so much. But the reason is not one star,
it's another constellation. It's the way he holds her and makes her feel
safe, like nothing in the world is wrong. It's his kisses, the ones that
trail everywhere. It's the clearest blue of his eyes that watch her and
see a beauty that not even she herself can see. It's how he loves her with
every piece of his soul, and some unexplained force brings out the
strongest love she has to offer.
So her fears are not completely without base, for she could not survive if
he did not love her and she did not have him to love in return. But it is
also plain to see that no force on Earth can take that love from them.
Still, she wakes almost every night with her heart pounding and tears
falling from her frightened eyes, barely able to recognize her nightmare as
just that.
She fears the future. She fears, illogically, that one day their love will
fail them and that their promises of a never-ending love will be forgotten
or ignored. It is the same fear she has had for many years, now put down
more specifically. So she still fears being alone, but now her heart tells
her that even with all the friends she's gained, being without him would be
the same as those painful months when she was truly alone.
She's sorted out the first stars, but in doing so, she's realized there are
more stars in the constellation than she saw at first glance.
But for now she is satisfied. She will leave the other stars for another
night. They will always be there, always shining softly in the back of her
mind, never fading. Just like the love that she will always hold in her
heart. Never to dissapear.
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