before I know what's happening
I find myself
on the ground
again

fallen
mouth open wide in a silent scream
sobs begin to shake my body
and then the tears come
burning, stinging, salty relief
from insanity
voices inside
screaming at myself
in tortured echoings
shut up
shut up!
they will not be silenced

I turn away from the cruel sun
rolling over
into grass and dirt
earth-brown scent fills me
and now
this rain falls for new reasons
these eyes bleed lucid sorrow
these tears beget more tears
and so I drown