Death by Presents
Authors note: These character belong strictly to the authors of GOTU.
Mainly, me. (And Andy! Don't forget Boo, either!) So, bottom line. No
touchie. Be warned, excess amounts of sugar, cookies, and sake went into
this story. You have been warned . . .
Narrator: Here we find the GOTU Gang on Christmas Eve. Even though it is a
'Holy Night', all hell seems to have broken loose. Everyone is trying to
outdo each other. You can find Myila and Aliasa bringing in their presents
for Xantos on cranes and forklifts. Luna and Citeron exchanged gifts and
mysteriously disappeared. So here we are . . .
Sermont: ::breathlessly:: Here Kirona, I bought you this beautiful Hope
Diamond. ::hands to Kirona::
Kirona: Oh thank you, Sermont. ::grins:: Diamonds are sharp.
Kirona: ::Hands Sermont a random sharp object:: For you, love.
Sermont: You're obsessed with sharp objects, aren't you?
Kirona: Mm Hmm!
Narrator: Darin and Gareth are opening their mysterious present from the
Darin: What's this?
Gareth: "Scenes in Which Innocent Bystanders Get the WRONG Idea"?
Narrator: Both Gareth and Darin read the story, laughing hysterically until
they get to Scene #9.
Darin: Ew! This is gross! ::giggle::
Gareth: This is funny! . . . Wait . . . DARIN AND GARETH?!!?!?!?
Narrator: Here we find Aycan. Despite his hard exterior, he has quite a
substantial Christmas Spirit.
Aycan: I need to have a talk with the Author. I'll show her Christmas
Spirit! ::evil grin::
Author: ::secretly writes up sign reading "Party Pooper" and sticks it on
Narrator: Ahem. Back to the story?
Aycan: ::approaches Aliasa:: Um . . . Aliasa . . . I have, a, er, present .
. for you . . .?
Aliasa: ::Smiles and takes present::
Aycan: ::waits nervously::
Aliasa: ::Thinks:: It better not be lingerie again . . .
Xantos: ::Spots Aliasa and begins to walk towards her::
Aliasa: ::begins to open present:: Thanks, Aycan.
Xantos: Aliasa! I have a present for you! ::holds out present::
Aliasa: ::drops Aycan's unopened present and throws her arms around
Xantos:: Oh, Xantos! You're too kind! ::inconspicuously kicks Aycan's
Aycan: ::hands twitch involuntarily::
Aliasa: ::continues to gush over Xantos::
Aycan: ::stalks off::
Narrator: Aw! Now we all feel sorry for Aycan!
Aycan: I don't need your sympathy! I need a plan! ::goes to a dark little
corner to think up an evil plot::
Narrator: Meanwhile . . .
Myila: ::spots Xantos and Aliasa. Gasps and stomps towards him with the
intention of stealing him:: Hey Xantos!
Xantos: Hi Myila! I have present for you too! ::hands present:: I have a
present for you too!
Myila: ::slips arm around Xantos's waist and leans head against his
shoulder:: Xantos, you're so romantic!
Aliasa: ::links arms with Xantos::
Narrator: Xantos is really pimpin' now!
Aycan: ::chuckles evilly as he seals an envelope::
Narrator: What are you doing?
Aycan: ::looks around:: It's my present. To Xantos
Aycan: ::spots Xantos and walks over to him:: Xantos! I would be deeply
obliged if you would accept this Christmas card.
Xantos: ::eyes widen:: Um, thanks, but I-
Aycan: ::puts arm around Xantos's shoulder:: But I would be hurt if you
didn't accept it!
Xantos: ::looks nervously at Aycan's arm:: Well, if you put it that way . .
. ::takes card::
Aycan: Steps back and grins::
Xantos: ::opens card:: Um . . . What is it?
Narrator: Aliasa and Myila are on the verge of a death match. Ooh! Lets
Aliasa: ::Thinks:: Hmph! I'd like to sock that Myila a good one! That's be
my Christmas Present to her!
Myila: ::Thinks:: Huh, that Aliasa could use a good reality slap. It's
obvious Xantos likes me better! That would be the best present she ever
Aliasa: ::Thinks:: What is with her? She's sitting there with that smirk .
Myila: ::Thinks:: Why does that woman have that smirk on her face? Does she
possibly think that . . . .
Myila and Aliasa: Xantos likes me better!
Narrator: Xantos chooses to make his entrance at JUST that moment . . .
Xantos: ::Makes his entrance at JUST that moment::
Myila and Aliasa: Hi Xantos!
Xantos: ::walks towards Aliasa and Myila, trips over a present and knocks
over the Christmas tree::
Narrator: The Guardians used candles, instead of lights to decorate their
tree. Thus, Xantos nearly burnt the house down.
Narrator: Darin and Gareth are adding a final touch on the Christmas tree.
It's a special holiday fruitbread ornament. Unfortunately, it's a little
stale . . .
Darin: ::holds up the star shaped ornament:: See? It's a seasonal
Gareth: Put in on the tree!
Darin: ::Puts it on the tree::
Gareth and Darin: ::step back and admire their handiwork::
Narrator: The ornament is so heavy the tree falls over.
Narrator: Aycan sits upstairs, eating, or . . . playing, with two
Aycan: ::High voice:: I'm Serina, queen of Ancion castle! ::Shakes Serina
the cookie to simulate speech::
::normal voice:: Now, you're not! ::Aycan the cookie jumps on top of
"Serina" and his leg breaks off:: What?!?!? You broke my leg?!?!?! ::eats
Serina: ::walks up behind Aycan:: Ooh! Cookies! ::Eats "Aycan"::
Aycan: You . . . you . . You ATE me!
Serina: ::looks at Aycan like he's nuts and walks away::
Aycan: Oh well . . . At least I still have my leg. ::grins evilly:: My leg
will kick some Guardian booty, and take over the Unknown!
Narrator: Citeron and Luna have finally returned, but it seems that Luna
has found the Author's Secret Stash of Succulent Sake.
Citeron: ::Helps Luna down the stairs:: Dearest, do you suppose you drank a
little bit too much?
Luna: ::drunk off her feet:: No, no, no. One can never have enough sake!
Citeron: ::unconvinced:: Of course.
Luna: I'm so glad you -- ::passes out::
Citeron: ::sighs and picks her up::
Luna: ::wakes up:: Oh my, I'm feeling quite woozy . . . Why are you
carrying me, Citeron? I can walk
Citeron: Sure you can. ::continues carrying her::
Luna: I demand you put me down right now.
Citeron: ::sigh:: Don't hurt yourself ::Sets her down::
Luna: ::still drunk:: See. I can walk! ::Runs into Xantos who trips over a
present and knocks over the tree yet another time::
Narrator: Jacques, Esther, and Azalea have discovered a pan of fudge. Looks
like they're about to get into some mischief . . . .
Jacques: I love fudge!
Esther: I wonder what it would taste like melted!
Azalea: ::giggle:: lets try it!
Esther: ::grabs fudge::
Narrator: The trio of trouble carried the fudge downstairs and set it by
Luna: ::sees the three and walks tipsily towards them::
Jacques: How long will it take to melt it?
Luna: Oh no! Don't melt the fudge! ::Picks up Jacques thinking it's the
Esther: Um . . Mommy . . .
Luna: ::squints at Esther:: Now, Azzy, don't argue with me. ::walks away
Esther: I'm Esther, not Azalea . . . .
Azalea: ::laughs:: She thinks Jacques is the fudge!
Luna: ::puts Jacques in the ice box, thinking he's the fudge::
Narrator: When all was abed, Santa Clause ((And Santa Moose . . . o.O;;))
snuck down the chimney leaving gifts for all. When he finished, he somehow
managed to squeeze his girth back up the chimney. On the roof, a jolly
voice could be heard.
Santa: On Flasher! On Pixie! Oh, screw the names! GO YOU FLYING BEASTS OF