Once upon a time, in a land far from here, I was busy training to fight a dragon. Sure, I know what you're thinking. Fight a dragon!? Dragons don't exist! Well, I assure you that dragons do exist. Okay, now you're thinking the possibility of me ever having the nerve or the skills to fight a dragon is a definite impossibility. Well, I have. So, now the "true" story of how I fought and slayed a dragon.

The land needed a dragon slayer, like me, to take care of a terrible dragon that had been terrorizing the people and eating all the rutabagas. Yes, rutabagas. This land just happened to be Rutabagia, the rutabaga capital of the world and main supplier of rutabagas to all grocery stores, and the dragon, it was a rutabaga-eating dragon.

I had noticed the ad for the job in the newspaper. I'd slayed a few small wyverns the year before and figured I could take on a rutabaga-eating dragon. Cause really now, anything that eats rutabagas all the time can't be that tough. Now, I'd just like to say that I'm not a big fan of rutabagas but people needed saving and I needed the money.

I left that day taking my cat, Silver, and my backpack. My cat cause I couldn't trust him home alone and my backpack cause I needed something to haul all my junk in.

I hitched a ride over to the magic carpet station and hopped on to the next carpet to Rutabagia. Silver wasn't too fond of flying so I had to put him in my pack. He didn't like that either.

Ten hours and fourteen bags of peanuts later, I had arrived at my destination, Rutabaga, capital of the rutabaga capital of the world. When I first stepped off the carpet a Rutabagian shoved a rutabaga into my hands. Apparently it was the traditional greeting. Needless to say, I didn't keep the vegetable.

At the station I purchased a map of the city and headed out to find 3600 Rutabaga Street. That was where the local dragon slaying guild, and the job, was located. I walked up the first signpost I saw and found myself with a bit of a problem. There was more then one Rutabaga Street. I was starting to feel a growing hatred towards rutabagas by this time and just wanted to slay the dragon, get paid, and go home.

A couple of hours later I had found the guildhall. I ended up asking a local for directions, that map I bought hadn't been very useful. The hall was blackened from dragon attacks and there was a "help wanted" sign in the window.

I walked through the door and up to the front desk. There I saw a scrawny little man in glasses. He looked geekish and was definitely not dragon slayer material. No wonder there was an opening.

"Y-y-es," the little man managed to say when he saw me.

"Hello, I'm here to mmph," my cat had decided he should be the center of attention and had smothered my face. "Silver!" I shoved his aside and tried again, "I'm here for the dragon slayer job."

"Oh thank the gods!" the little man exclaimed. I took a step back. He looked like he was about to hug me. "All the other dragon slayers were eaten by the dragon, " he told me.

I asked some questions about the dragon then I stepped outside. Just in time too. There was the dragon, right on cue. It was a big, winged, purple creature that was busy frying houses and eating whole fields of rutabagas in one gulp. That's when I decided that investing in a shield and sword might be a good idea.

So, I did. And I trained with that shield and sword until the next time the dragon attacked. I didn't have to wait very long, just three days.

The dragon had come swooping down from above the clouds to attack the city. I was waiting for the creature by the rutabaga farms. It glided down for a snack and I issued an ultimatum, it's standard dragon slaying protocol.

"Dragon! If you do not leave the good citizens of Rutabagia alone I shall have to slay you!" I yelled.

The dragon turned and looked at me with eyes of hatred. I was in for it. As the winged beast took three giant steps towards me I realized exactly how big it was. I was doomed. Yep, definitely doomed. There was no way I could stand up to that dragon.

The dragon blew some fire my way and I dodged it. Again, standard protocol. The beast had to make known its intentions to fry me to a crisp.

With a flapping of wings and a thunderous sound as the dragon dropped back to the ground I suddenly found myself face to face with the beast. Okay, so more like face to knee, but I'm sure you get the picture.

The creature swung its large head towards me, mouth open, teeth glinting in the sun. It was going to eat me. No need to panic. I could handle this. Well, maybe I couldn't. Nope, couldn't. I was dead meat.

Just as I was about to be gobbled up, a furry streak of gray flew past my head and landed on the dragons face with a cat like yowl. The dragon reared back its head and roared in anger. I looked up. It was Silver! My dear kitty had leapt onto the dragon's face to save me! And who says dogs are more loyal than cats.

Now that the dragon was distracted with the fanged furry one I had my chance. I swung me sword in a heroic dragon slayer way and . missed. I was trying to hit its heart but was a bit too short. I tried again with more of a heroic leaping attack. Success! The dragon screamed in pain. Silver jumped down from its head to stand next to me. We both watched as the dragon died.

With the dragon dead the Rutabagians and their crops were safe. My work here was done. Now to get paid.

As the people rejoiced I met with the guy from the guildhall.

"I'm here to get paid."

"Oh, yes. Let's see. One rutabaga eating dragon slayed. That's." he pushed some buttons on his calculator, ".ten bushels of rutabagas." I looked as he pointed towards the bushels of rutabagas up against the wall.

Just my luck. The Rutabagians paid with rutabagas. It was now official, I hated rutabagas.

So that's how I slayed a dragon, with my cats help, of course. I haven't slayed any more dragons since then, they were declared endangered species. All us dragon slayers lost our jobs. But, maybe one day we'll be needed again. Until then, I need to find a way to get rid of ten bushels of rutabagas.