"What are you doing here? I thought you were still in Europe until next
week?" His voice was crusty and aged. It was as if he had swallowed dust
instead of water or air. His hair was a dark unruly mass curling wildly
around those dark brown eyes..haunting his features like shadows.
"I got back early, aren't you going to let me in?" I hated the way my voice
sounded, weak.like a little girl's. I looked down at the cotton pattern of
the light green dress I had purchased in London.at how the fabric clung to
my skin from the heat. In Europe I had been awoken by the attention I
received from older men, and a part of me was scared of that. I didn't want
to be noticed by anyone but Him, and yet he didn't even seem to want to
meet my gaze as I slid through the door like the serpent in the garden of
Eden; wishing in the back of my mind that I could tempt him into my garden.
He seemed different, but that was to be expected as I had been gone for 2
months. His skin was a light yellow and I could tell he had been sleeping
and staying inside all the while that I had been gone. He was never one for
really going out and seeking the day, and maybe that was just as well.
Breathing in I caught that unusual scent that his house always held, the
smell of frankincense and myrrh. It made me want to smell him, to see if he
smelled anything like the walls in which he lived, but I knew not to cross
the invisible border he held up between us.
Shifting on his bed he reached underneath the covers for his pipe, the
sinews of his muscles gleaming in the candle light as he found his stash
and began to prepare to light up. I hated it when he did this because it
made him even more far away.
Without thinking, I reached over and knocked the pipe from his hand, lacing
my fingers around his thin wrist.
It was in that moment that he saw me for the first time, his eyes narrowing
in anger and the growl beneath his throat barely audible. I wondered if he
would slap me, if he would yell, or if he would shut down and push me out
But instead he did something I had never witnessed before. He grabbed my
wrist and pulled me to him, before he started to sob against my breast like
a child. I could hardly catch the words that were uttered in between gasps
for air..I always thought that he would be a silent crier, but instead he
was loud and vocal. Maybe it was this contrast that excited me so much, I
could feel myself tensing and yet I knew that I needed to just be there for
him.the cotton of my dress was getting wet as he clung to me shaking.
I wanted to say something to consol him but instead I remained quiet,
brushing the hair from his eyes and listening to him mutter and breathe.
When he finally looked up at me, I could tell he was about to pull away and
return to being unemotional and guarded like before. I could feel my heart
tense with fear, I didn't want to be away from him again now that he had
opened up. So I did what I thought I should never ever do..
I leaned in and kissed him.