Shoot for the Sun

By: Violet Blues

Not the best story you’ve ever read but of course I appreciate reviews. Wonderwall by Oasis is the song featured. No flames please.

Love. What is it anyway? And why does it happen to certain people and others are just left…alone?

Today is gonna be the day
That they're gonna throw it back to you
By now you should've somehow
Realized what you gotta do

I sighed and bit the side of my cheek as I thought these rather depressing thoughts. They seemed to always fly in my mind every time I looked at the picture of him, stuck in the crevice of the mirror attached to the dresser.

And here comes the cliché line of the day.

I’m in love with my best friend.

I don't believe that anybody
Feels the way I do about you now

I know what you’re probably thinking, “Hmm…this sounds awfully familiar” but it’s not. Clayton and I met three years before, at a homeless shelter. I ran away from home at thirteen, hoping to escape my family and slightly myself.

Backbeat the word was on the street
That the fire in your heart is out
I'm sure you've heard it all before
But you never really had a doubt

Things weren’t all that terrible at home, when I think back on it. I was just confused, hurt--- scared. I guess I wasn’t receiving the love and attention I needed; it was in the wake of my father’s death that I ran away. But I should have been there for my mother more, I now realize, and also my sister.

I don't believe that anybody feels
The way I do about you now

Clayton’s father had kicked him out of the house due to his drug addiction and he had no where to turn but to the shelter. I remember when we met that night; we talked about our lives and how much things were messed up. We spent days there, and I felt a connection start to form between us. After a while, however, Clayton went into serious withdrawals, due to lack of drugs (he had no money), and I tried my best to soothe him to sleep. Seeing someone shake and groan the way he did scared me to death; I almost cried from terror. When he woke up the next morning, sweaty and still quite out of it, he told me to go back home. “Things could be worst,” he said. “Look at me.”

And all the roads we have to walk along are winding
And all the lights that lead us there are blinding

He fell back to sleep and I wrote down my address for him in a piece of paper. I had an address. Somewhere warm and inviting.

There are many things that I would
Like to say to you
I don't know how

I’m not so sure that I would’ve come home if he hadn’t told me too. For all I know, I could be dead somewhere or worst. I’m glad I met him—although he’s flawed, as flawed a person could be, but I’m glad I met him and I’m glad that I fell in love with him.

Because maybe
You're gonna be the one who saves me
And after all
You're my wonderwall

Our history together afterward is confusing and yet comforting. We helped each other; it was all so strange. Now I know the meaning of “Love is found in the strangest places”.

Today was gonna be the day
But they'll never throw it back to you
By now you should've somehow
Realized what you're not to do

And I’ll tell him today. I smiled while flipping on my side, a girlish giggle escaping between my lips. I’ll tell him.

I don't believe that anybody
Feels the way I do
About you now

I was almost positive that he would say it back to me. I could feel that he loved me too; he had to. I was sure that my touch burned his skin almost as much as his burned mine. I was sure that my smile had to bring sunlight into his dark sky, like his grin brought rainbows after rain.

And all the roads that lead to you were winding
And all the lights that light the way are blinding

I sighed and closed my eyes. I knew where he was. Clayton had just called to say he would be in the park and to meet him there in an hour. He worked in the park at his father’s hotdog stand and we usually played a little basketball afterwards. He had told me to come in an hour, but I would be there a bit early.

There are many things that I would like to say to you
I don't know how

I hopped from my bed and raced out the empty house. My mom was at work, and my sister--? I had no idea. But that was of no importance.

I said maybe
You're gonna be the one who saves me
And after all
You're my wonderwall

My heart was pounding against my ribcage as the park came into full view. Sweat clung to me messily, but I didn’t care. I knew in a few moments that my life would change forever; I would be loved.

I said maybe
You're gonna be the one who saves me
And after all
You're my wonderwall

I walked around, hotdog stand in full view, and ran up to it. I frowned. It wasn’t Clayton working; it was Darren, the person who works the shift after him. Darren seemed a bit annoyed. I scrunched my brow. “Where’s Clayton?” I asked. He rolled his eyes and pointed to his figure, over by the swings a few feet away.

Except he wasn’t alone.

My heart beat sped up more then before as my feet became heavy. He was laughing with a girl, petite and small, with long hair. They were tickling each other. Finally, they stopped.

And Clayton, my Clayton, leaned down to kiss her lovingly on the mouth.

My feet wouldn’t stop. I wanted to know who she was. I came close enough to see her, but not close enough for them to notice me.

And then, as my eyes welled up with tears, I wanted to kick myself. Who else could that petite form and long hair belong to? Who else but my sister?

I fell down, sprawled on the grass, staring up at the sky. The sun blinded my eyes but it didn’t hurt as much as my heart did. Never again would I shoot for the sun. Its rays of light called for me to leave. But I didn’t want to leave. So I stayed.

Said maybe
You're gonna be the one that saves me
You're gonna be the one that saves me
You're gonna be the one that saves me