A/N: I apologize for the delay in updating this.

To anyone who is still reading this, thank you. I appreciate it!

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shout-outs

Zoey7 : glad you liked it! Here some more Lydia ranting, and some Ken-doll ranting too! Hope you enjoy it! (if it seems too trite ever, tell me and I’ll fix it!) Thanks for the reviews!

XxDragon Princess N...: sorry, I think your name got cut off! Glad you liked the clock part. I was writing that in the basement of my school-building and they have this really annoying lazer-thingy that always ticks like a clock, and I was also impatiently waiting for someone..so that’s where that idea came from. And how could I not like the Assassin? It’s so awesome!!! Thanks for the review!

glitterjewele : yes, look at this! I updated just for you! I was totally going to push this story away (I’ve got some on that I’ve been doing that I like better) but just for you (and after reading your how-to fic, and feeling a tad guilty for leading on my readers) I decided to go ahead and finish this story. (although how long that will take is anyone’s guess). And of course I want constructive criticism! (or destructive criticism, if that’s the case too). If I suck at something, I can’t fix it until I know about it. But glad you liked Em.. she’s the composite of all theses ppl I know.. thanks for the review! (now when are you going to start another story?)

Spooky152 : yup, my dream too! Thanks for the cyber-hamsters! And thanks for the review!

Fiona Charity: Thanks for the review! Glad that you liked Em. She’s based on a bunch of friends of mine. And glad you like Lydia’s outbursts.

Tragic Shadows : 70-yr-old man in a kilt LOL! Thanks for the review!

Dear-Ophelia: sorry, I still don’t remember the name of that book (drat it all! And I saw it the other day at the library too! Just know what it looks like.. if that would help any. But I will seriously write down the title next time I drop by the library. Thanks for the review. Now, on a whining note: update your story PLEASE!!! I REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY LOVE IT! Or at least tell me what’s going to happen!

daphnegray78 : Yeah, Michael is a jerk! And he only gets worse.. thanks for the review!

Anni Morph: thanks for the review Anni. Do you believe that I actually came back to this story after all that stuff happened that I told you about? I can’t. but I found this chappie hiding on my comp from before summer vacation and after I read it, I wanted to post it b/c I liked it. So I think this story might be back. And yes! I will finish that Marco story pretty soon! I’ve been focusing a lot on The One, lately, and also that Iden story I told you about. But I just need some free time to finish up Marco (X-mas break should do nicely!)

SAngel : Thanks! And thanks for reading and reviewing!

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As she slowed for the red light, Lydia glanced at the clock mounted onto the dashboard of her 2000 Civic. Seven forty-two. Lydia swore softly to herself. She was supposed to be at Em’s apartment at seven-thirty. And with the way this traffic is moving, I’ll be lucky to get there by eight-thirty, she thought to herself.

Today was the day that Lydia had been dreading all week--the day when she would meet with Richard, Em, and Kenneth (ugh) to discuss the details for Em’s wedding preparations. The wedding was only about two months away, and as the Maid of Honor, Lydia felt it her duty to run all the stupid little errands for her best friend. Unfortunately, Emmy had implied that running those errands often required a second person, and even more unfortunate this person happened to be Em’s cousin Kenneth.

Lydia waited impatiently for the red light to change. Darn it! She didn’t want to be any later than she already was. She could already hear, all too clearly, Ken-doll’s whining voice making some crack about how Lydia was late to everything.

Stupid Kenneth! How Em could stand to be in the same room as that dunder-head, much less enjoy his company was beyond Lydia. Everything about Ken-doll was infuriating: from his stupid obsession with superheroes and Star Wars, to his immature wisecracks, to his haughty air of intelligence. Even the way Kenneth talked--with that high-pitched whine and slight lisp of his r’s---was irritating.

The stoplight flashed green, and Lydia groaned inwardly. Nearly 8:00 and still there’s stop’n go traffic. Gently, she stroked the accelerator and the little blue Civic rumbled forward, moving at an awe-inspiring 15 mph.

It was nearly eight forty by the time that Lydia reached Em’s apartment. Lydia was more than an hour late! She quickly found a parking space, and then rushed out of her car and towards the apartment complex. Em’s apartment was on the third story, and Lydia hastily made her way up the clanging metallic stairwells. She finally reached the third level and then took the short distance to apartment 3B.

Taking a quick minute to compose herself, she hand combed the kinks out of her short brown locks and smoothed the hem of her blue button-down blouse. Then she raised her fist to the bright white door and rapped it soundly with her knuckles.

Knock! Knock! Knock! She pounded on the apartment door.

She waited a few seconds, hearing approaching footfalls. The door swung open, revealing an anxious-looking Richard Goodson.

”Hi, Richie,” Lydia greeted her best friend’s fiancé with a small hug.

Richard smiled at her, revealing his pearly white, perfect teeth. The highlights in his perfect sandy brown hair complemented his perfect tan and his tall, toned perfect body.

“Hey, Lyds,” Richard returned the greeting in kind. Although Richard was amazingly hot, (he looked like an Abercrombie poster-boy for God’s sake) he only had eyes for Lydia’s best friend. Em was Richard’s sun and his moon, his compass and his guiding star, his heartbeat and a bunch of other mushy things that made Lydia thoroughly depressed just thinking about. Damn it, I really need to get over Michael! She thought angrily.

”So what’s going on Richie?” Lydia asked brightly, trying to lighten her somber mood.

”Nothing much,” he replied. Richard smiled at her, and his perfect dark brown eyes shone in obvious relief. “We were starting to get worried that you’d forgotten about coming over tonight.”

Lydia laughed. “Somehow, I doubt that was possible considering that Em has reminded me daily.” She paused, considering. “No, thrice daily,” she corrected herself. “She was even starting to send me little e-mail reminders.”

Richard laughed, good-naturedly. “That’s Em for you.” He said with that special smile reserved for only when he was with Em or talking about her. Michael never had a special smile for me, Lydia thought a little bitterly.

But then she forced that dark Michael-thought from her mind. She didn’t want to turn into that person: the jealous and bitter ex who tried to make life miserable for all around her.

“No, the reason I’m late is because I got caught in a traffic-mess that started somewhere near 5th street.” Lydia explained.

Richard whistled in amazement. “Ouch, 5th street. Doesn’t sound like fun.”

“It wasn’t,” Lydia replied dryly. Then she peered into the apartment expectantly. “Aren’t you going to let me in? “

”Oh! Of course! Where are my manners?” Richard laughed. “Come on in, Em’s in the kitchen,” Richard said as he ushered Lydia into Em’s apartment. “Kenneth’s in the kitchen with her.”

And Lydia couldn’t help noticing the little look of apprehension that flashed beneath Richard’s great brown eyes.

”What?” She asked defensively.

Richard blushed slightly. ”Erm…Emmy asked me to remind you that you promised her you’d be civil tonight.” Richard said uncomfortably.

”And when am I not?” Lydia demanded, a little put-out.

”When you’re around Kenneth.” Richard replied candidly.

Lydia was silent then, unable to think of anything to say, because what Richard said was the 100 honest to goodness truth. Lydia hated Em’s cousin, and she’d take any opportunity to let Kenneth know that.

“Well you’d better tell Ken-doll to behave himself too,” Lydia said sulkily.

Richard winced as Lydia called Kenneth by the nickname Ken-doll --the nickname that Kenneth hated, and which Lydia knew Kenneth hated-- but Richard didn’t correct her.

“We’ve already instructed Kenny to behave himself,” he said instead.

“Good.” Lydia replied, and she couldn’t help adding, “because he always starts it, you know.”

Richard just sighed and then headed for the kitchen with Lydia trailing behind him.

They entered the blue-tiled kitchen and found Em and Ken-doll, Kenneth, Lydia corrected herself --after all, I am being civil today--seated at the round kitchen table.

“Look who I found out on the front door-step,” Richard joked. He strolled over to Em and placed a small kiss on his fiancé’s cheek.

”Hey Lydia,” Em greeted her best friend with a smile and a hug. “I was getting worried that you had forgotten about tonight.”

”No of course not!” Lydia laughed, her bright amber eyes shining in amusement. “I was just running a little late, that’s all.”

Lydia smiled at her friend and then she turned to meet the remaining presence in the room. Ken-doll, KENNETH! I’m being civil today, stared at her coldly from his seat at the kitchen table.

“Kenneth,” she said coolly, trying to keep the hatred from her voice.

”Lydia,” he replied in an equally icy tone.

Ken-doll, KENNETH! was a short, skinny, and overall geeky looking guy. His father was full-blooded Vietnamese and his mother was half German. What that ethnic mixture had produced was a rather messed-up looking kid named Kenneth Steven Khan. Kenneth was short, like his father, and had his fair skin and Asian slitted eyes. However, Kenneth’s deep blue eye-color came directly from his mother, along with his bright blond hair. The result was a short Vietnamese kid, who looked like he’d bleached his hair some atrocious platinum blond color and wore ridiculous blue color contacts under his horn-rimmed glasses. Needless to say Kenneth looked very odd.

When he was younger, Kenneth was very aware of the fact that he looked far from normal, and consequently he was amazingly self-conscious of his appearance. Lydia took full advantage of this self-consciousness. She nicknamed him Ken-doll, a play on Kenneth’s name that insulted him twofold. First, the nickname pointed out Kenneth’s blond hair and blue eyes, and his general non-Vietnamese appearance. Secondly, the nickname implied that Kenneth had the brains of bimbo Barbie’s boy-toy, Ken. And though Kenneth was anything but stupid, he was a friggin genius, for God’s sake! The comparison of his IQ to a boneheaded surfer doll really riled him up.

Em indicated that Lydia and Richard should take seats at the table. Lydia plopped down next to Em, as far from Kenneth as was possible.

After Richard and Lydia had seated themselves, Em turned to address Kenneth and Lydia.

“Thank you both again for agreeing to stand up to our wedding together,” Em said trying her best to break the silence. “Richie and I really appreciate it.”

Kenneth nodded, keeping a stoic expression across his face. He was, after all behaving himself. ”Really, its no problem that I stand up with Lydia, cousin Emilia,” Kenneth said smoothly. “After all, this will only happen once.”

Lydia’s eyes narrowed.

”Your wedding, I mean,” Kenneth said offhandedly as he pushed his glasses up the brim of his nose.

“Yes, it’s really no problem,” Lydia repeated, scowling at Ken-doll. “After all, Ken--neth is doing you a favor, being the last-choice pick and all. But you know what they say: last choice, not least choice.” She smiled warmly at Ken-doll. His face remained chiseled in its blank look, but anger glittered behind his deep blue eyes.

“Er, so I bet you’re wondering why you’re both here?” Richard cut in quickly, trying to halt the growing undercurrents that were forming between Lydia and Em’s cousin.

“Yes, I bet you’re both wondering what errands we need you to run.” Em repeated hastily, willing Lydia to meet her eyes.

Lydia finally did. “Well, I am curious. So what is it that you guys want me to do?” Lydia questioned the engaged couple.

“Well, there are a couple of things.” Em detailed. “First, we were wondering if you two,” and here she emphasized two “wouldn’t mind putting together the wedding favors.”

Em reached behind her to the kitchen counter and grabbed a small object off of it. She placed the object onto the table, displaying it to Lydia and Kenneth.

“These are our wedding favors,” Em explained indicating the small object in front of her. It was a tall, stately, crystal candlestick holder shaped like a champagne glass. A small tea candle rested inside the bell of the champagne glass, and the entire candlestick holder was wrapped in gauzy white lace.

“They’re very pretty, Emmy.” Lydia complemented her friend.

Em beamed. “Thanks. Do you think that you guys could make these for us? “ Em asked Lydia and Kenneth hopefully.

Kenneth nodded. “If you want us to,” he replied. Then he looked thoughtful. “But we don’t have to work on them together, right? We can do them individually?”

Both Lydia and Kenneth held their breaths until Emmy nodded. “Yeah, you guys can make them separately,” she affirmed.

Both Kenneth and Lydia sighed in relief. The less time that the two spent together, the better.

“ I’ll show you how to make the favors in a sec,” Em continued. “They’re really easy, just time consuming, and we need a lot of them. So far we’ve gotten sixty-seven people coming, but we could have as many as one hundred and fifty. So Richie and I will need at least one hundred of these favors.”

Both Kenneth and Lydia nodded. “We’ll split it right down the middle,” Lydia suggested. “Fifty for me and fifty for him.”

“That’s fine,” Richard spoke up.”

“Next item for business,” Em began. “Since you guys are the Maid of Honor and the Best Man, can you guys make sure that all the others in the bridal party get fitted for their tuxes or their bridesmaid’s dresses?”

Lydia nodded. “That’s easy enough, Em.” She said. “Just give me their phone numbers.”

Em smiled. “Cool! Thanks. Now here’s the last thing-- for now at least—do you guys think that you could put together a slide-show for our wedding reception?”

Lydia wrinkled her brow thoughtfully. “How so?”

”Well, say a fifteen minute show,” Richard explained. “Five minutes of me growing up, and then five minutes of Em growing up, and then five minutes of us together as a couple.”

Lydia shrugged. “Sounds easy enough. Kenneth and I can just split the work and put it together at the end.”

Em shook her head hesitantly. “No, I don’t think that will work. You can split the work for the wedding favors, but I think you’ll have to work together on the slide-show.”

“And why is that?” Kenneth asked, forcefully restraining his growing dislike of the situation. Spending even five minutes alone with Lydia? That was asking too much.

Richard nervously ran his fingers through his perfectly parted sandy brown hair. The tension in the room was building again. “Well, you guys have to collaborate because well Lydia has loads of pictures, and so do you Kenny. Em and I will also hand over our stashes.”

Lydia shot Richard a dark look, her amber eyes glittering. “That still doesn’t explain why you want us to work together,” she said pointedly.

Richard squirmed uncomfortably under Lydia’s scrutinizing gaze. He then shot a panicked look at his fiancé, begging for her intervention.

Em blushed slightly and then began hesitantly. “Now Lydia, don’t take this the wrong way, alright?” Em paused, watching Lydia’s face. “But we all know that you’re not the most -er- computer literate person in the world--"she trailed off.

Sure, Lydia was adept enough at MS Office and a handful of other programs, but she was not highly skilled with computers in general.

Lydia’s face dropped, and her back went rigid. “And Mr. Mechanical Engineer, over there is.” She stated angrily. Ken-doll flashed her a smug, supercilious grin.

“What can I say, Lydia?” Ken-doll quipped. “Some of have it, and some of us just don’t,” he sneered.

Lydia’s face grew dangerously red, and she opened her mouth, ready with a string of obscenities but before she could voice them, Em quickly cut in. “Lydia, you’re not that great with computers, but we need you to make sure the overall presentation looks nice,” she said appeasingly. Then she added, "My cousin isn’t the most artistically-inclined person in the world.”

And now the color fled from Kenneth’s face, and it was Lydia’s turn to smirk. “Oh, don’t feel bad,” Lydia sneered with mock-friendliness. “No one’s good at everything. Everyone has to fail at some subject, even art.”

And Lydia had the satisfaction of seeing Kenneth’s left eye twitch slightly, the movement magnified under his horn-rimmed glasses. “Art is a waste of time,” he said crossly.

“Not to the most excellent and dedicated staff of Montopolis High School,” Lydia returned. She stroked her chin thoughtfully. “Now image if you hadn’t failed art, Kenneth. That would have made you – oh yes, you’d have made valedictorian of our class, instead of salutatorian. Is that right?” she asked innocently.

Kenneth’s eyes blazed angrily. He would behave. He would behave. He’d promised his cousin that he would behave.

I guess art is important to some people,” Lydia concluded smugly.

“Er- thanks so much for agreeing to help with the wedding,” Richard cut in hastily, trying to advert the nuclear bomb that was about to explode in the apartment. “Em and I really appreciate it! I mean, we just don’t have a lot of time lately. What with Em starting her new job, and me being a full-time med-student,” he rambled, running his fingers nervously through his perfect sandy brown hair.

“It’s nothing,” Kenneth answered icily, his glaring blue eyes never wavering from Lydia’s smug grin.

“Yeah, nothing at all,” Lydia replied returning Kenneth’s blue glare with her amber one. “So it’s the wedding favors, checking up on the bridal party, and working on the slide-show, right?”

Em nodded. “Yeah that’s it.”

“And I can do everything on my own, except for the slide-show.” Lydia continued. “I’ll have to collaborate with Ken-doll on that one.”

Lydia, suddenly felt a pain in her ribs. She turned to Em with a questioningly look. “Ow! Why’d you elbow me?’

Em’s eyes flashed with an urgent plea. Kenneth’s face had turned purple as a prune at mention of his hated nickname, Ken-doll.

“Oh,” Lydia suddenly realized her slip. Civil, be civil. You promised Em you would be. “I meant that I’ll have to collaborate with Kenneth.” Lydia corrected quickly. She turned to Kenneth. “Sorry about that one,” she said apologetically. “I promised Em that I wouldn’t call you by that nickname, Ken-doll. “

UGH! I did it again!

Kenneth’s face was now the color of stewed beets, and his left eye twitched violently. “And you’re doing such a good job with that promise of yours,” he snapped. If she’s not going to behave herself, then why should I? “Oh, hey Lydia I was wondering how your “writing” job with the Star was going?” Kenneth sneered.

It was no secret that Lydia was more than a little disappointed with her writing career. Lydia had always dreamed of becoming a newspaper field reporter, of traveling the globe and reporting her experiences. However being only a recent university graduate Lydia was not experienced enough for field reporting. The

Daily Star had hired her on to write the obituary section, with the promise that if Lydia worked hard enough she’d eventually be promoted to field reporting. But as it was, right now she was pretty depressed with her writing “career” in general.

Lydia’s eyes narrowed angrily. How dare Ken-doll bring that up! Just because he was a stupid engineer and rolling in the dough, didn’t mean that he could make fun of her!

“Oh, my job’s going just great,” Lydia replied, forcing the edge from her voice. “Writing is writing.” She said firmly, and then pursed her lips in mock-thoughtfulness. “But you know what would make my job a thousand times better?”

Not waiting for Kenneth’s reply, Lydia continued. “Writing an obituary for you, Ken-doll!”

Kenneth’s already beet-colored face grew scarlet. “And what exactly is that supposed to mean?” he growled.

“You’re the valedictorian--I mean the salutatorian --you figure it out.” Lydia snapped waspishly. “Ken-doll,” she added for good measure.

“Don’t call me that!”

“Why not, Ken-doll? Ken-doll the salutatorian?”

Kenneth just stared at Lydia, too angry to even speak. His pale skin was flushed a heated red, and his left eye was twitching so violently that his entire head seemed to quiver.

“What, nothing to say?” Lydia simpered. “Or are you trying one of your Jedi Mind Tricks on me?”

“You…why…stupid…” Kenneth bubbled in a dark rage. His bright blue eyes flashed furiously under his horn-rimmed glasses.

“Yes? Yes?” Lydia prompted.

”Dumb…girl…Lydia…”

But Kenneth had reached his breaking point, and both he and Lydia knew it. It was the point at which Kenneth was so angry that he couldn’t structure coherent thoughts. (Ironic, considering he was the debate team captain in high school). But for some reason, this affliction only seemed to occur when Kenneth was around Lydia—perhaps because she was the only person who could make him angry enough to reach his breaking point.

“Stupid…hate…” Kenneth sputtered, clenching his teeth and balling his fists.

With Ken-doll unable to complete his sentences, Lydia had just won the argument, and knowing this made Kenneth even angrier, and only added more vigor to his stutter.

“Witch…shove it…newspaper…”

“Sorry, Kenny I couldn’t quite follow that,” Lydia sneered, savoring her triumph.

Ken-doll shot her an enraged glare, and Lydia winked back cheekily. Then she tossed her head saucily, and turned to her best friend and a bewildered Richard.

“Thank you Em for having me over. Just send me the things for your wedding, whenever.” Lydia said politely. “Good night Em. Good night Richie,” and pointedly ignoring the still-fuming Kenneth, Lydia turned on her heels and left.

Kenneth was still twitching a few minutes later, still too angry to do more than mutter various obscenities under his breath and ball and un-ball his fists. Lydia had won the argument! Damn it!

Slowly Kenneth calmed, and his violent twitching subsided. When he’d finally regained his composure, he turned to his cousin. “Thank you for having me over Emmy, and it was nice seeing you again Richard,” he said in one very clipped, very controlled sentence. “Bring me the supplies for your wedding favors whenever you’re ready. Goodbye.”

And as she heard the front door slam, marking Kenneth’s exit, Em turned to her beloved Richard with a sigh. “It could have been worse,” she slumped wearily.

Richard gazed at Em, aghast. “Really?”

Richard had witnessed a few of these Kenneth-Lydia altercations over the four and a half years he’d been with Em, but he’d never seen them this bad. He’d never seen Kenneth so angry that he couldn’t speak. (Of course he’d also never seen the Lydia and Kenneth in the same room for longer than five minutes, either).

“Yeah, Richie, you never saw Lyds and Kenny in their prime, during our high school years,” Em said rolling her eyes. “God, some of those arguments were-" she paused searching for the right word “amazing, considering that they’d go on for days.”

Richard eyed Emilia in disbelief.

“I’m not kidding,” Em stated. “ For as long as I can remember, Kenny has hated Lydia, and Lyds has hated Kenny.”

“So you’re saying we have more of this to look forward to?” Richard asked gloomily

”Yes,” Emmy said with a sigh. “Yes, we do.”

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