Love/Hate

I hate the way I miss you, I hate the way you make me feel

In this world I’ve constructed, you’re the only thing that’s real

The way I fit in your arms, the way your smell remains in my head

Makes me feel like all the time before this was nothing, like the world was dead

Your hands feel good to me, your eyes say so much

I hate the weakness I suffer around you, how I lean instinctively to your touch

The words in my mind, to tell you how I feel, to say the emotions within

Melt away when you come near, like they’ve never been

When you’re gone, I miss your smile, the way your mouth feels to mine

When we’re together all I know is that there isn’t enough time

I hate the way I feel so small when you come close,

But safe I feel in your arms, all I want is another dose

The proximity of you, it makes me surrounded

But in this world filled with “alone” together isn’t as bad as it sounded

I hate the way I sound so lovely, when I speak of you

The way people look at me, as if to say “how cute for you to do.”

I love the way you speak to me, like what I say does matter

The way you say “I love you” makes my heart go pitter patter

As I kiss you, I taste the playful heart on your tongue

To think of it, makes me smile, strums against the strings across my heart strung

The warmth that fills me, when I see you waiting

It has my breath catching in my chest, the love sating.

I love my dearest, for all that you give

But for the things you make me feel I cannot forgive

Accustomed to weakness, I am not and for that I despise myself

I control my own feelings, a person unto their pelf

But you dance upon my heartstrings, tug at them without knowing

Everyone who sees me says “why dear you’re glowing”

For in your love I reside, happy to remain

For these feelings of fear, for you them I have slain

I hate you for the emotions you make, the feelings you cause

The way you immediately accept me, my good traits and my flaws

I have strength within myself, and a will all my own

And with that I don’t understand why I’m not alone

I like it that your weird, the edges that are yours, purely rough

I hate that feeling in my gut, like of you I cannot have enough

The smile of yours is crooked, the lips I’ve known with mine

I hate them for their inveiglement, for a feeling so fine

I want to be angry, to scream, to fight and cry

But I am useless against you, for in my heart you pry

I love you, dearest, with all I can give

But I hate of the feelings you awake in me, fear them and for that I try to forgive

I love you, I hate you

And I have no idea wherefore these emotions do