(A/N-This is something of a rewrite of Nothing Gold Can Stay, told without a lot of actual telling. Inspired by The Sybil’s Oracle Interlude (part of the most wonderful HP fanfic series ever) and Todd Strasser’s Give A Boy A Gun. And of course, the  real people behind every single one of these characters. The rise and fall of a rock star, and how true love lasts forever, even if that love isn’t what you think it to be.)Jamie

So I got commissioned into writing this. Not exactly commissioned, but asked to write this. By David. It’s been sixteen years since I first met him, and eighteen months since he passed. I knew him better than anyone, and one of his last wishes was for me to tell his story. “Not for fame, but I want them to know. Tell ‘em so that they don’t have to suffer like I have. No one has to go what I’ve been through, make them see that.” Those were his exact words. Following is something of a scrapbook, a conglomeration of odds and ends, letters, documents, songs, pretty much everything I could find from him. I’ll do something of narrating throughout, but I’d rather let him, and his things tell the story than tell it as a biography. It wouldn’t do him justice.

This first part deals with David when he first came to Greencastle, Illinois from Chicago, and thus our first meeting, the first real glimpse of David Kalman by anyone.

 

Court Order, dated September 2nd, 1992

September 2nd, 1992

Cook County Civil Court

Led by the most honorable Judge Ian J. Romorris.

William Kurt Lukorris, Plaintiff

David Matthew Kalman, Defendant.

The court herby rules that the Plaintiff, Mr. William Lukorris has proven just cause for a restraining order against the Defendant, Mr. David Kalman. The Defendant has proved that he has both physically and verbally harassed and abused the Plaintiff, and will therefore not be allowed within one hundred (100) yards of the Plaintiff. If the Defendant disregards this restraining order, he is punishable with up to thirty (30) days in jail and a fine no more than one thousand (1,000) dollars.

            Furthermore, as the Defendant is a minor, who currently resides with the Plaintiff, and the Plaintiff’s wife, the Defendant’s mother, the Defendant will be sent to the nearest living relative’s residence, in Greencastle, Illinois.

Taken from Dave’s Journal.

September 18, 92

So, it’s been two weeks since I’ve been shipped out to this little hellhole and I hate it already. I despise this place. They’ve tried to tell me it’s not so bad, that I’m not so far from Chicago, but 70 some odd miles is damn far. All this for slugging a goddamn bastard. I hate it here. They’ve shoved me in all the honors classes cause all the little hicks here are too dumb to get in them, I’m like the smartest guy in the school, it sucks. I don’t like standing out, except maybe when it comes to singing. I like to sing. I want to be a rock star. But I’m cynical enough to know better. What I want is not what I’m going to be. Most I’ll be is a little unknown guy who does the club scene. But I can dream. Daydreaming’s the only way I survive this godawful place. Only thing I dream of is getting out of here.

Taken from Jamie’s Journal.

September 25 92

Well, I’ve hit gold. That new guy, Dave something or another, something kinda harsh sounding, Calfman or something like that, well anyway, whatever his name is, I finally got him to say something. Not much. All he talked about was how much he hates it here, and how he wants to go back to Chicago. But it’s not so bad. I always wanted to go somewhere other than Greecastle. Farthest I’ve been is Campaign, it’s nice there, it’s bigger, but it’s still small compared to Chicago. But he seems nice enough, if just a little arrogant. I suppose he’s got something of a right to be. He’s a genius.

A letter from the Principal of Greencastle High School.

November 19th, 1992

Dear Mr. Kalman

I am sorry to inform you of an unfortunate incident that has caused me to suspened your nephew Dave. It seems that he got in an altercation with another boy today in the hall. Dave firmly states that the other boy started it, but seeing as the other boy has been the star of Greencastle since he was a boy, and as your nephew came here because of a past…record, I have to take Mr. Chris Haverforth’s testimony in favor of your nephew’s and am therefore suspending Dave for three days out of school. Whatever classwork that he misses will be sent to him.

Thank you,

Don Carby,

Principal, Greencastle High School

Jamie

There’s an absence of material for most of his junior year, as well as the rest of his Sophmore year. During this time, nothing major went on. I haven’t got any Journal entries that mention much of Dave, and Dave only used his when the mood struck him, which wasn’t very often. Above was the first time Dave was suspended for fighting, and it wouldn’t be his last, it was the first time anyone saw his short fuse. And it was over these two years that we began to forge the bond that would carry with us for the rest of his life.

Dave was outshone in almost everything in the school. In a rural town, most of the people only care about the sports, because they’re the only things that are going to get the town any notice. So of course, everyone loved the football team, the baseball team, the basketball team. And thus, they all loved Chris Haverforth. He had it all, good looks, money, and he was the school’s star athlete. A little lacking in the brains department, but he did well enough to pass.

But because of his stardom, Chris got away with so much more than anyone else could And he picked Dave as his favorite target. Everyone thought that Dave was jealous of Chris, when in reality, if anything, it was the opposite. Dave was always so sure of himself, even if it meant he was different. I suppose Chris envied that. So Dave was something of a problem child for Greencastle High, and the administrative staff.

At the same time though, Dave was the resident genius. He passed all of his classes with almost all straight A’s, and graduated first in the class. Only class he did badly in was Gym, he never was much of an athletic guy. Which just added fuel to the fire. I suppose that this was where Dave started to gain his hatred and distrust for all people, all people outside of those select few that he let in.

I’ll pick the story up from where the material picks up, and that would be in the summer between Junior and Senior year. What is there isn’t much, and there’s a long gap throughout the winter, but it is all I have found that’s survived the trials of fifteen years.

From Jamie’s Journal.

7/25/ 94

Dave asked me to write lyrics for a song he wrote. He came up with this great little melody, it’s upbeat, but he wanted something of sad depressing breakup. So I took a stab at it. He’s a brilliant guy, no doubting that, but not much of a writer. Sure he can write, and it’s grammatical and all, but it’s dry, I think he used the term “sterile” to describe it, and I have to agree. His music’s totally different. I can play a few tunes on guitar, but you should hear what he writes it’s downright amazing. So anyway, here’s the song that I came up with.

Once in a while

I see your face

I picture your arms

Your loving embrace

Once in a while

You never called

You never said

We were falling apart

Once in a while

That’s all it takes

All the time needed

For a heart to break

Once in a while

That’s all it takes

All the time needed

For a heart to break

Once in a while

I sit in bed

And snapshots of you

Flash through my head

Once in a while

I cry at night

The thought of you

Brings tears to my eyes

Once in a while

That’s all it takes

All the time needed

For a heart to break

Once in a while

That’s all it takes

All the time needed

For a heart to break

Baby don’t cry

There’s always tomorrow

After the dark

There’s a brand new day

Baby don’t cry

There’s always tomorrow

The sun will rise, it’ll all be okay

That’s all it takes

Once in a while

That’s all it takes

All the time needed

For a heart to break

Once in a while

That’s all it takes

All the time needed

For a heart to break

A scrap of paper found inside of Dave’s journal

…Lliam Lukorris arraigned today on abuse charges aga…

…orris claims the charges were unfounded and that the def…

…out on a thousand dollars bail….

From Dave’s journal

8/10

So they finally got the bastard. Finally. Took em long enough to realize that I wasn’t the one who slugged him, he slugged me first. I wish I coulda been there to see the look on his face when the cops came bustin in. Guess moms finally had enough, finally gave up and called someone in. I don’t want to think about that though, I just wanna gloat. Maybe now I can go back to Chicago. I hate it here. Sure, it’s gotten more bearable. Jamie’s cool, she’s kinda been my ticket to everything.

            She’s showed me to everyone, brought me to all the parties, and she’s damn good with lyrics. We make a good team, her and I. We make a very good team indeed. The dynamic duo, the Bonnie and Clyde, the Scooby and Shaggy, Sonny and Cher, Nick and Nora, the Fred and Ginger of the 90’s. We’re going to be big. She will, at least, she’ll be a famous journalist. I’ll be stuck at the diner for the rest of my life trying to make it big. But hey, the diner’s not so bad. Or I’ll do the same thing in Chicago.

            I still know I’ll never make it big. I’m the best singer in the school. But that’s only cause most of the school is big dumb jocks who couldn’t tell a music note if it hit them in the head. They don’t know what music is. They don’t even know what learning is. I’m the smartest kid too. I guess what they say about music is true, it really does make you smarter, I’m the ace at calc, I’m top of the class. Hah, what do those dumb jocks like Haverforth know? Only thing they know is how to beat the crap outa someone.

            So soon enough I’ll be out of here, I’ve got a year left before I’m off to college. I’m going to Northwestern, no matter what. It’s a good school, and it’s in Chicago. Funny how that’s my priority. Chicago. Wonderful city, never want to leave it again. Not once I go back. When I go back it’s for good. And I’ll kill that rotten son of a bitch while I’m there. Be the gallant noble heroic prodigal son that rescues his mother from the evil stepfather that framed him. Sounds like a cheesy fairy tale. Could be worse.

            I’ll miss Jamie though. She’s my only friend here. But a guy like me doesn’t have the ability to be a soft caring guy. I don’t have friends. I have acquaintances, I have people that I like, I don’t have friends. Friends are too close. Friends are too much. I’m a loner, a lone wolf, and don’t care about being that way.

            Awe, who the hell am I kidding. I don’t know how I’d survive the hellhole that is Greencastle without Jamie. I don’t think I could, I’d probably have already killed everyone here if it wasn’t for Jamie. It’s fun, poking fun at everyone with her. And she knows where all the parties are at. Between her and the booze, it’s not really that bad.

            Soon it’ll all be behind me though, soon I’ll be back in Chicago. Soon, I’ll be back to the old guy I was. Soon, I’ll be famous. And Haverforth will hate me even more, but respect me because for once, I’ll have shown that I’m better that him at something, something he can’t refute. I’ll be famous, and he’ll be a little nobody.

Dave’s High School Transcript

Sophomore Year

Geometry Honors-98.8-A+

Physics Honors-90.7-A-

English II-89.1-B+

American Civilization I Honors-91.3-A-

French III-87.5-B+

Madrigal-97.7-A+

Health-94.3-A

Physical Education-68.4-D+

Lab Study Hall

Final GPA-3.95

Junior Year

Algebra II Honors-94.6-A

Chemistry Honors-93.3-A

English III-87.4-B+

American Civilzation II Honors-93.4-A

French IV Honors-84.5-B

Madrigal-98.1-A+

Health-91.2-A-

Physical education-65.4-D

Lab Study Hall

Final GPA-3.80

Senior Year

AP Calculus-93.4-A

AP Genetics-94.4-A

English IV-88.8-B-

French V Honors-90.7-A-

Madrigal-98.3-A+

Health-92.4-A-

Physical Education-64.4-D

AP Music Theory-98.5-A+

Final GPA-4.03

Final Cumulative GPA-3.93

Class Rank-1 out of 280

SAT Scores:

Math-797

Verbal-699

Dave’s College Acceptance Letter

March 1st, 1995

Dear Mr. Kalman,

After throroughly reviewing your credentials, the admissions staff at Northwestern University are pleased to say that we have admitted you into our undergraduate program. Your exceptional SAT scores, coupled with your high GPA and class rank have made us exceptionally glad that you can join us here at Northwestern University. We look forward to seeing you here this fall. Enclosed are the forms that you need to fill out to finalize your acceptance here. Welcome!

Yours,

Allison Christianson

Director of Admissions

Northwestern University

From Jamie’s Journal

3/8/95

So Dave got into college, he’s going to Northwestern, no surprise there, I’m happy for him. I’m stuck going to the local state college. It’s not that bad, but it’s not Northwestern. Ah well, it’ll be easy to get a degree in Journalism. That’s what I wanna be, a journalist. I’ll be big and famous, I’ll be amazing, I’ll be the next Katie Couric. At least that’s what Dave keeps telling me. He claims that I’ll be the famous one, that he’ll still be back here waiting tables while I’m up on the today show, doing amazing things. Maybe he’s right, but he has the chance to make it bigger than me. He has talent. I don’t. I just have a way with words. It’s not much. Not compared to his voice.

            His voice is the most beautiful thing in the world, it makes you melt inside, and I wish I could have that voice, or at least be around it forever, and ever. I want to be around it forever, cause I love it so much. He has such control, with the greatest of ease. He can glide over low notes, and hit notes higher than any many other than a eunich should, and he barely strains. And he sounds so marvelous when he does, his singing is enough to put anyone at ease. Music soothes the savage beast indeed. If Haverforth bothered to listen to him sing, I’m sure that brute would never dream of shoving Dave into a locker again.

From Dave’s Journal

4/15

            So I’m going to Northwestern, and leaving Jamie behind. I don’t want to, I want to bring her with me, I never want to let her out of my sight. Mostly because of that brute Haverforth, I saw him the other day, flirting with her. He asked her why she hangs out with, “that little singing fag,” as he so kindly called me. Ick. I hate him. Hate his guts. I want to be famous just to spite him, just to prove that you don’t have to be six foot ten, three hundred pounds, and able to tackle guys to make it famous if you’re from a little hick town like this.

            I don’t trust her around him. Or rather, I don’t trust him around her. I have all my faith in Jamie, she can hold her own, my shins prove it, she kicks me in them enough. But she’s small, she’s slender, Haverforth’s a big dumb jock, and I wouldn’t put it past him to use his weight to his advantage.

            Funny, here I am being the gallant noble big brother figure to her. I always have sort of been her protector. Not that she needs it, I’m just too chivalrous to stop it. I guess I love her like a sister. Maybe something else. She’s my best friend, my protector, and I protect her as well. We’re a dynamic duo, we were made for each other, soulmates I guess you could say. I don’t want to leave her behind. We’ve known each other for all of three years, and I know I’ll miss her more than I missed my mother when I was forced out of the house.

            We’re soulmates. That’s what we are. Made for each other. No matter what, we’ll be together, maybe not as lovers, as much as I love her, there’s better fish in the sea, but together, no matter what, through thick and thin. That’s what soulmates do.

From Chris Haverforth’s Journal

5/6

            Well, one more villiage looses it’s idiot. I very nearly killed that Kalman fag. Who the hell did he think he was anyway, taking on the exceptional, amazing, Christopher William Haverforth? So I made a move on “his” girl. I don’t see what she sees in him anyway. She’s good looking, smart, what does she see in that short little scrawny fag anyway? All he does is sing, and study. And he can drink, I’ll give him that much, but still, he’s…so bad I can’t even describe it.

            So I was making the moves on Jamie, and she wasn’t resisting, so we started making out. She’s not that great of a kisser, but she ain’t half bad. It was around here that that little faggot came in. It’s amazing, for someone so gay to actually show rage over a girl. Or maybe it was that he had to witness a guy and girl, you know, a nice normal couple, making out. But he pulled me off of her and slugged me. I have the black eye to prove it.

            So I beat him back. And he’s a puny little thing that can fit in a locker. It took me all of three punches and a kick to send him out for the count. I couldn’t tell who Jamie was more mad at, me or him. Cause I admit maybe I shouldn’t have gone after him once he was down, but c’mon, you can’t stop me once I get going, especially on a guy like Kalman. I think I got him pretty good, he was bleeding pretty bad, but nothing too bad. I just hope that bastard doesn’t drag me to the cops or some shit like that.

            I can get out without any problems though. It’s true, he decked me first. And I’m Chris Haverforth. Star of Greencastle. No one touches me, not a fag, not the cops.

From Jamie’s Journal

5/7

            I can’t belive what’s happened. David’s in the hospital, because of what Haverforth did to him. We were just making out, I didn’t really care either way, I can’t say I really like him, but he is a good looking guy, tall, atheletic, with these huge broad shoulders and dark brown hair bleached to a golden blonde, and these big blue eyes. Quite a contrast to Dave who’s small and scrawny, with his short curly black hair and dark hazel eyes that are more often bordering on black than on green.

            Well Dave comes over and interrupts and Haverforth completely beats the crap out of him. He’s got a broken rib, a concussion, and they needed to get him up to surgery cause he was bleeding real bad internally. Add to it that he has a bruised spine, the docs don’t know if he can walk again. I hate Chris now, but it was Dave’s fault. I’m torn…I don’t know who I should be more furious at. I’ll settle for Haverforth. I want Dave to press charges, but Dave knows better. I suppose he’s right, he’d stand no chance against Haverforth in court.

Jamie

And there is another gap here, shortly after David was hurt. It was around here that Dave finally started to hate all humanity. I suppose it was his thinking that if no one supported chivalry and the world turned its back on him because he bothered to do a good dead, he could turn his back on the world. After what happened to him, I wasn’t surprised. He was nearly paralyzed for life, and even still, there were moments when his legs would lock up, the remanants of what Chris had done to him.

After what had happened, there was no sign of him at all until his junior year in college, it was the first I had heard of him, not having much of a chance to go see him up at Northwestern. I was still a good seventy miles away, and while it doesn’t sound like a lot, it is when you’ve grown up in a rural town that’s a mile long.

Then, in our junior year of college, a good full two and a half years since I had last seen him, Dave pretty much appeared out of nowhere, he suddenly reemerged.