How do you tell them?

What do you say to someone who just lost a father? And how would you say it? I know someone who just yesterday lost his father. During my first class a card was passed around for anyone who wanted to send him their sympathies. I don't like the kid, I think he's an ass kisser and there's no shortage of proof as he walks into school every morning with a coffee for about 5 teachers.

My friend passed me the card and pen, I lost my own father when I was five years old. It's a lot different I'll tell you now. I didn't know what happened, I had no concept of death, I figured he just left and wouldn't be able to come home. Even though I saw his lifeless body in the casket, cold hands and all, I never perceived him as dead, just someone who wouldn't come home again. It never bothered me greatly until I became more aware of my life. I did a lot of blaming, I pointed so many fingers I figured everyone had some part to play in his death.

Even God, especially God. I have my reasons for hating the translucent thought of Him, too many as one for most people is too many. After all, He planned it.

What I find hardest is standing against the grain. I'm real, not faced, not clouded in sick sincerity, but how do I write in that card, 'Life sucks sometimes man, keep him close, never forget, I'll see you tomorrow.'? As I've learned that isn't the sort of thing to write on a sympathy card, as it offers no sympathy. As well, who am I to write anything? I make fun of him for being a kiss ass, and correct him with as much vindication as I can muster when he reads Hamlet. Would he even want sympathy from me? More than likely yes. It is from the mouths of your enemies that the best feelings of positivity come.

I must have stared at that letter for half an hour, being the last one to get it. I decided to not write anything. I come off as your run of the mill, cold hearted psychopath, and not that I care about ruining that image, no one takes me seriously. If I wrote to him saying that he can talk to me whenever, he wouldn't. If I wrote him saying something like everyone else, he wouldn't read it.

I have sympathy for him, but no medium to share it. But as I dislike him, I am not bothered by not caring if he gets it. He's a relatively popular guy, he'll be smothered in it when he returns to school, no need for me to get sympathetic.

I don't know when he'll be back to school, and honestly I don't care. I don't expect people too when I get sick. The only thing that worries me is if he doesn't know how to cope, teenagers can't take most situations well as it is. And as much as I hate his sphincter kissing ways and poor speaking ability, he isn't someone that deserves to be a victim of their own dread. Not that I would miss him, I just hate seeing wasted talent go out so easily, for such a selfish, disgusting cause.

This is dedicated to you Brent Markos, I doubt you'll ever read this but it says what I can't, for I'm far better with the written word than I am with the spoken.

Take care bud.

Justin