Later that night, Albert came back into the room accompanied by four other
"Ok, now watch this," he said. After Eric and Cory gave a short
demonstration, the others said that they had to try this. Eric got out a
second racquetball and let the other four play. After the games were over,
the others got up, some more slowly than others, and left saying how much
fun that was. They claimed that they would spread the good word and
demonstrate the game to others.
"Wow. I can't believe they liked our game." Said Eric.
"Yeah, I know. That's just something we play when we're bored and now the
whole school's gonna know about it." Added Cory.
"We totally need to start up a Nutball tournament." Said Albert. "How would
you guys set up a tournament?"
"Well back at the camp we learned it from they had tournaments. They set up
teams of four. Each team generally had some funny, sexual, or funny sexual
name. Then the teams would just go at each other like any other sport
"Ok, that's what we'll do. Me and y'all can be on a team, but we need a
fourth.Wait, I know just the guy. My gay cousin goes to school here, he'd
be perfect for when we might have to challenge, you know, cause he'd have
no problem touching another man's balls."
"What should we call our team?" Asked Cory.
"How about the Nut Crackers."
"No that's pretty gay. How bout The Bulge Busters."
"Yeah that's a lot better."
That night Albert lay in his bed unable to sleep. Suddenly a voice came
from his side. "What's wrong Al?"
"What? Who said that?" He sat up and looked around the room. His roommate
was asleep and nobody else was in the room. Then a shadowy figure appeared
out of nowhere.
"W-Who are you?" Albert asked nervously.
"Don't you recognize me? I'm the ghost of Ron Jeremy famous adult film
"His ghost? But Ron Jeremy's not dead."
"True, but that's not the point. The point is that I'm here to help you."
"Help me with what?"
"With your problems."
"What problems would that be?"
"You're not getting laid problem."
"Oh. Wait, how'd you know about that."
"I'm Ron Jeremy. I know everything. I know the reason that you've never
allowed anybody to see you naked. They don't call you the Nutless Wonder
"Shhh, that's not something I want people to know about."
"So you have a small wang, it's not the end of the world."
"Yes it is. I'll never be able to please a woman in the way that someone
with a large unit could."
"This is true, but like I said, it's not the end of the world. That's why
I'm here. I'm going to guide you in your quest to do it. The first thing
you need to do is win this upcoming Nutball tournament that you guys are
"So you're sayin that if we win the Nutball tournament, then a girl will
have sex with me."
"No, I'm saying that that's the first thing you need to do. I have to go
for now. I'll be back later, but I'll leave you with one final thing. Roll
Albert rolled over in his bed just before his roommate was about to slam a
handful of shaving cream in his face. After dealing with his roommate,
Albert wondered if it was all a dream or something more.