rushes through my veins. I can feel it slur through my blood moving through my skin, in and out my brain. It's everywhere. The won't leave. It strikes me with its imperfect balance of hate. Daring to show itself, this creature won't leave my body. It taunts me, its in my dreams, its everywhere I look. My loneliness conquers my nerves, yet I'm not alone. There are people all around figures, creeping at every turn. Insomnia, I fear it just like I fear everything. I close my eyes but nothing happens. My brain shocks back memories of emptiness. My skin wants to be scratched, to be torn, to be cut. It screams for the blade, it urges for the coldness of the metal. It wants to feel the pain, more pain. Not just emotional rampages, but psychical demands of pain. My feet begin to sink under the ground, my shadow disowns me, just like everyone else. I'm not wanted. Not cared for, I'm just a waste of space.a waste of air. Pain, breathing is pain, it fills my lungs like a ball of needles urging to have me choke. The light dims, everything goes dark, only one object appears to my interest. The blade, it mocks me with its reflection. I can see this hideous monster looking at me from it, a sorrowful person, meaningless to the world, a . Such a slick feeling as I run my finger up and down it. Studying it with my eyes, my skins lurches for it, needs it. Suddenly I'm in a pool of water.I see myself in it, like the blade, I feel the pain .rushing through me like through my skin, the fear returns. No, no more.I won't take it anymore. No more laughing, no more crying, no more feeling, no fear, no pain, no life, no me, no people...nothing. The beginning of the end. I feel the blade, my skin calls to touches me, kisses my skin. Kissing me, I feel pain, no fear. The sound fades away, the lights are out. It's just me and the water. Red, red all around me. A sensational feeling. Blood drains out of me along with my life. can you call this a life? Leaving me behind, just me and the water. The water, red as a rose, has brought me to my sanctuary. I feel cold but the feeling is so great, a wonderful feeling of nothing. No pain, no .