PRINCESS HYDROGEN

A/N: Okay, okay, this is the sad product of a chemistry project that I had way too much fun with! I do own the whole idea! All the corny puns are mine! All the characters are my idea, the elements aren't mine, but when I personify them they are so mine! ANYWAY! Just enjoy and review this crazy mess of a story! ( I like it least!)

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Hello, I am Sir Cody; I am here to tell you of my search for Princess Hydrogen. It started several years ago when I was on a journey from my town to the kingdom of Alkali. I had entered the kingdom to find everyone very depressed and down hearted. I was puzzled and decided to go talk to King Lithium and Queen Sodium to find out what was going on. I arrived at the castle and was lead inside to talk to the king and queen.

"Greetings Sir Cody, what brings you to our kingdom?" asked King Lithium.

I knelt down in front of him and humbly said, "I was just passing through when I noticed that all of your people seem sad and depressed."

Queen Sodium responded, "Yes, that's true Sir Cody, you see our daughter Princess Hydrogen has left us. She ran away about a week ago and no one knows where she is. The people are getting very sick because of she has been gone so long…"

"Why?" I interrupted her.

The queen continued, "You, see Sir Cody, Hydrogen is so abundant in our peoples lives. She makes up a good portion of them about 100,000,000 abundance. Since such a large portion of themselves is missing they are becoming very sick."

I responded, "Oh." Then after a moment I asked, "What happens if she doesn't return?"

The king answered me, "Then most of the people will die." I gasped Princess Hydrogen needed to come back quickly!

"I will return her, your majesties." I boldly stated. Queen Sodium rose out of her seat and shrieked:

"You will? Oh Sir Cody! Thank you! Thank you!" She ran towards me and then wrapped her arms around me squeezing me very tightly.

I requested, "Your highness, please, I can't breathe!"

"Sorry" She said releasing me.

I asked, "So what can you tell me about the Alkali Hydrogen?"

King Lithium laughed and said, "Hydrogen, an Alkali? Ha!"

"Why is that so funny?" I asked confused at his statement.

The king continued, "You see, Sir Cody, Hydrogen doesn't belong in our family, per say, in truth she really doesn't have a family. We adopted her, so she isn't rightfully an Alkali. She's a loner and is quite happy being a loner with a quote unquote family."

"Oh I see." I said, so Hydrogen wasn't theirs but she was adopted, okay one fact.

Queen Sodium said, "Yes that's right, Henry Cavendish discover her when she was a little baby back in 1766. He found her in London and a few months later she was placed in our arms. Such a little one only weighing 1.00794 grams! She stayed with us until the periodic table of royalty was developed and they decided to keep Hydrogen above us, just a separated element."

"I understand so what else can you tell me about Princess Hydrogen?" I asked wanting to know all I could about Princess Hydrogen before I left to go find her.

King Lithium said, "Well, if Hydrogen gets too warm she will melt."

I questioned what I was hearing, "Melt sir?"

The king said, "Yes, melt, if the temperature around her is higher than 14.01 Kelvin she will melt."

Queen Sodium interrupted, "Yes and she will boil at 20.28 Kelvin."

"And is she becomes a gas at 298 Kelvin." King Lithium interrupted.

I said, "WAIT! Let me get this straight! At 14.01 Kelvin she will melt, at 20.28 Kelvin she will boil, and at 298 Kevin she is a gas… Right?"

Queen Sodium said, "Yes, that's right Cody. Whenever she's a gas she is the lightest gas known."

"Well what color is she?" I asked, realizing how stupid my question was.

The king said, "When she is a human she looks like any other human, long brown hair and blue eyes, when she is a gas she becomes colorless, it's impossible to see her at all!"

"Oh my! I do hope she doesn't become a gas then she might never come back!" Queen Sodium cried out in despair.

I responded, "Don't cry Queen Sodium I shall return her as soon as I find her!"

"I pray you do brave Sir Cody." She said.

King Lithium said, "Oh yes, and Sir Cody, whatever you do… DO NOT! Let Hydrogen get near Sir Oxygen."

"Why, Sire?" I asked rather puzzled.

He answered, "Well Hydrogen isn't toxic, but if she and Sir Oxygen come in contact they become rather explosive, and produce a very strong fire. They only work together if the BCNO family wants to launch one of its family members into space. Together Hydrogen and Oxygen can produce the rocket fuel necessary. BUT, that is very supervised, otherwise things could get out of hand you see."

"I see, so Hydrogen can produce a rocket fuel very powerful when she and Sir Oxygen combine. Keep them apart so things stay alright." I said recapping what I was just told.

The queen said, "Good luck, brave Sir Cody, God speed be with you."

"Thank you." I responded. Bowing I turned and left the castle to find Princess Hydrogen. I began to walk out of the kingdom. My plan was simple, try heading east towards the BCNO family. Maybe the princess was being held captive! I first had to get across the Calcium River. I had to travel south to the Potassium Bridge. It connected the Kingdom of Alkali to the Valley of Transition Metals. I came down to the bridge and found a stranger. I greeted him with a good day.

He in turn responded, "Looking for the one whose name originates from Greek are you?"

"Yes," I responded cautiously, something was not right here.

"Oh yes, the first part 'hydro' meaning water and the second part, 'genes', meaning generator. Yes, Princess Hydrogen is a rather gifted producer of water when mixed with oxygen. She is also a gifted producer of Hydrochloric acid when fused with Prince Chlorine of the Halogen family."

"Thank you, good sir." I responded I now knew to keep Hydrogen away from Chlorine as well! They could produce an acid! Acids are never good! I continued my journey through the Valley of Transition Metals. I soon arrived at the Copper Fields on the other side of the valley. As soon as I entered the tiny village I discovered the people there were just as depressed as the people of Alkali! I went to talk to King Gold and Queen Silver.

"Dear Sir Cody!" Queen Silver exclaimed, "How nice it is to see you again!"

"You as well my lady." I said bending to kiss her hand. "Where, may I ask, is King Gold?"

The queen told me, "Oh King Gold is out with several of his men to go rescue Princess Hydrogen! She was captured on her travels here. She was helping our magic rocks."

"Magic rocks?" I asked.

"Oh yes, our magic rocks, you see Hydrogen is so abundant in crystal rocks. Every so often, we call upon Princess Hydrogen to replenish the hydrogen in the crystal rocks. She replenishes their magic fully with total abundance of 1,500,000. See why she is needed Sir Cody?" The queen asked.

"I see, I too am looking for Princess Hydrogen, the people of Alkali are near death and they need her back to so she can replenish her abundance within them as well!" I told Queen Silver.

"Oh my! Sir Cody then you must be on your way! The BCNO family has taken her hostage in the Aluminum Castle! Sir Oxygen must not get near her!" Queen Silver exclaimed.

"I must depart, my lady! Thank you very much!" I said turning and running out of the castle. I jumped onto my near by horse and rode off to save Princess Hydrogen. I arrived at the Metalloid stairs and climbed them to the Aluminum castle. I arrived and Sir Oxygen stood in front of the door.

"The one with the atomic number, one is not here anymore, she escaped. I believe that she might be going to see Prince Chlorine now." He said smirking rudely.

"No! I must go rescue her!" I cried out running back down the stairs. I jumped on the horse again and rode off to the Halogen Hallow. I arrived at the entrance to the hallow, my horse became scared and I had to disembark, continuing alone into the dark hallow. I walked through and found the Fluorine Castle. I wanted to talk with the prince so he'd release Hydrogen. I entered the castle and Prince Chlorine came up to me.

"I suppose you are looking for fair Hydrogen, with her one proton and one electron and zero neutrons?" He asked scathingly.

"Yes, release her Chlorine!" I demanded.

He said, "I do not have her Sir Cody, she has escaped yet again!"

"NOT AGAIN!" I groaned. Hydrogen was being quite a slippery little princess! I left the castle. i'Where else could Hydrogen be?'/i I asked myself. I left for the household of the Noble gases; they might have seen her. I quickly left the Halogen Hallow and entered the kingdom under the rule of the Noble Gases. I arrived at the castle and saw King Helium talking to a girl with long brown hair in a long braid and bright blue eyes.

"HYDROGEN!" I called out. The fair maiden turned and looked at me.

"Sir Cody? What ever brings you here?" She asked.

"Hydrogen, you must go home, they need you, the people are loosing their hydrogen abundancy and need to be replenished, the magic rocks of the Copper Fields need to be replenished as well!" I pleaded to her.

"Oh dear, if it's not two things, it's two others!" She exclaimed.

"Whatever are you talking about Hydrogen?" I asked.

Princess Hydrogen said, "I was called to help King Helium here blow up some hot air balloons, and then help Queen Neon weld some neon signs! I guess I have to go help at home and in the Copper Field!"

King Helium said, "Yes, I think you should Princess Idrogeno." He smiled and continued, "Take one of the hot air balloons Princess."

"Oh thank you king Helium!" She said hugging him. We left and as soon as we were out of the king's ear shot…

I asked, " Princess Idrogeno?"

"Hydrogen in Italian. He loves to speak it! To show off, you know. That's nothing Queen Neon called me Princess Wasserstoff, German for hydrogen, she has a bunch of German relatives!" Hydrogen beamed.

I said, "Do you know how much trouble you have been to find?"

She giggled, "That much huh? You should have expected it!"

"WHAT! How do expect to find a princess who goes globe trotting around to different households on the Periodic table of Royalty!" I snapped at her.

"Well I'm very useful! When Sir Oxygen and I form water, 2/3 of us are found in all organic compounds. Didn't you discover a bunch of uses for my skills?" She complained.

"Yes, you're used to make rocket fuel, used to make Hydrochloric acid, used in welding and filling hot air balloons." I said as we arrived to our pre-selected hot air balloon. We got in, Hydrogen pricked her finger, and a clear liquid fell from her finger. She took the liquid and placed it into the heater for the balloon.

She looked at me; "Will you do the honor? I'll catch on fire." I pulled the chord for the balloon and we slowly rose above the kingdom that was ruled by the Noble Gases. Princess Hydrogen said suddenly, "Oh yes, Sir Cody…"

"Yes." I responded.

"Another reason I was so hard to find…I travel very lightly, I'm 120 pounds, only 5448 grams of actual Hydrogen." She smirked as we went to go help the Copper Fields village and Alkali Kingdom.