Title: Secretly Celebrating

Author: Tanglefire

Author's Email: jen_

Feedback: I need it, so click the friendly little review button!

Rating: PG13 (I think, just to be sure.)

Summary: GEN a bit of HET. The story of two brothers who hate eachother. One brother is dying and the other remembers all the reasons he ever hated him.

IMPORTANT NOTE: This is an assignment for English. My teacher gave me a really stupid theme, Celebration. I've already used that theme this year, and she said I could use it however I wanted this time, so I twisted it as much as possible. So much for Celebration.

Secretly Celebrating

Edric stands leaning against the doorway looking into the dim room. Although it is almost noon, the curtains have been drawn to minimise harsh sunlight and few candles have been lit. His older brother Stefan lies motionless on the bed, motionless except for the deep rise and fall of his chest beneath the sheets. Stefan's eyes are closed, his entire body is drenched in sweat and he mutters inaudible words, probably the ramblings of feverish dreams.

Edric moves aside to allow a maid entrance, carrying with her cool damp cloths to place on Stefan's forehead. Also in the room is Lord Krindan and Lady Fyrena, Edric and Stefan's parents, and Vanris, Stefan's young wife. The three of them sit close to the bed, watching Stefan and speaking softly to him, their voices worried. Tears are in all their eyes, for although there is of course a chance Stefan will live, it is unlikely.

They don't mention that of course. It would be too tragic if he passed away so young.

It is tragic indeed that Stefan, only in his 21st year, now lies in fever after taking two brutal arrows to the chest. He is lucky to be alive. And that luck may not last.

Though sad it is, and despite his parents' grief, Edric cannot find it in himself to be upset, or even concerned. Quite frankly, he is feeling somewhat triumphant, and has been so since the very moment Stefan fell wounded from his horse a few days earlier.

Edric hates Stefan. Not in a clichéd sense, but truly hates him, in every meaning of the word. And Stefan hates his younger brother right back, with the same intensity. It has been this way since they can remember; these brothers have never been friends.

Not even when Stefan lies on the brink of death will they make up their constant feud. 'He is beyond forgiveness,' they have each always though. 'Even death would not change that.'

And it still will not.

"Stefan?" Lady Fyrena softly whispers to her eldest son. "Stefan, can you not hear me? Stefan?"

"Stefan darling," now Vanris tries to wake her husband. She squeezes his hand. "Wake up, please."

Edric flinches with jealousy at "Stefan darling". How it angers him that such a lovely girl would refer to his vile brother as her Darling. He does not deserve the name. And she deserves someone better.

Edric watches as the hated body stirs, as Stefan's eyelids flicker open revealing his hated eyes, now pale through weakness. He squints at his wife. "Vanris?" he softly inquires. "Is this a dream? Am I not dead yet?"

Vanris keeps her voice steady. "No, my darling. You shall not die."

Stefan looks at Fyrena and Krindan. "Mother? Father?" they nod at him with sad smiles. Stefan looks around the room. "Why is it so dark?" he tries to sit up but moans in pain and sinks back into the cushions as Vanris and his parents reach out to comfort him.

"Hush, Stefan." Soothes his Mother. "You are weak, so you must stay lying down, and still."

'Yes Stefan," Edric thinks to himself. 'Stay lying still, stay like that forever and never bother me again.'

Lord Krindan rises from beside the bed and comes to Edric, still standing in the doorway.

"Edric? Will you not speak to your brother?" his father asks, looking confused.

Ah, now. See, Krindan and Fyrena have never known of the fight between their sons. The brothers fought when they were young of course, the whole castle knew about it. But they learnt to keep their arguments private as they grew older, so the earlier shrieking at each other was passed as young sibling rivalry. In a castle as large as the one they live in, so kindly given by their relatives, the King and Queen of Argoth, ongoing fights can easily be kept a secret.

"Go on, Edric." His father urges. "Say something of comfort to Stefan."

This is not as hard for Edric as you might suppose. He has been faking love for his brother for years, and Stefan for him. Just to keep their parents out of it. Edric walks to the bed and looks down on Stefan, who looks up into his eyes. They hold this contact, and finally Edric puts his hand on Stefan's shoulder and speaks.

"Stefan, be strong. Be strong for our country. Ignore whatever pain you are in. Those bandits who dealt you such a sting shall pay yet. This I promise, brother." Ah, but he's never kept a promise for his brother, and his brother has never kept one for him.

Stefan looks up at Edric and sees his true thoughts. The young men share a private exchange through their eye contact. Even in the flickering candlelight the message is clear. Curse you. I do not need you. It is in both their faces. It goes unnoticed by those around them however. Then Stefan's eyes shut and he drifts off slightly, not answering Edric's lie with words. Edric steps away from the bed.

"May I be excused?" he asks.

"Of course Edric." His mother answers, her face lined with worry. "Get some fresh air. I wish you could bring some back with you."

The room is rather stifled, Edric notices this. "Maybe if we opened the curtains."

"No Edric. Stefan needs the warmth."

Stefan, Stefan. Everything is for Stefan. Even the atmosphere. How selfish. And there wasn't even a thankyou for Edric's suggestion. Just no. Because Stefan needs warmth.

This is how Edric feels as he leaves the room and wanders down the corridor and out into the courtyard, ignoring the sympathetic looks he gets from people he passes, people who think he is concerned for Stephan. The castle's great bell tolls overhead as it strikes noon. He kicks at autumn leaves that have fallen on the stone ground. Oh, how he hates his brother. For innumerable reasons. He can't imagine why Stefan hates him back, he has no reason at all! Oh yes, that's it. Stefan has always had this idea that Edric, being the youngest, is their parents' favourite, and that Stefan was emotionally neglected as a child. How ridiculous. Look at the way they are fussing over Stefan now; so much for neglected.

This was the main problem between them at first, leading to other problems, little things such as whose toys were whose, and who got more treats, who got better birthday presents and the like. And as they got older, more important things such as who did better in study and exams, who was going to be more successful in politics, who was better at hunting.

They both enjoy hunting, it is something they are both proud of. Edric despite being three years younger thank Stephan, has always faired better at the sport, and this, to Edric's delight, has caused Stefan to become insanely jealous. But it gets annoying for Edric when Stefan goes on about his younger being an attention seeker, a "goody goody" with the adults, and of course, "Mummy's favourite". Oh, and "Daddy's favourite" as well. That's how they talked when they were children, and Stephan hasn't changed as far as Edric's concerned.

That day they were out hunting in a group and were ambushed by bandits was one of the most frightening and amusing days of Edric's life. Frightening because, well, they were ambushed by dangerous criminals and amusing because once he'd gotten over the shock of the attack and the bandits had run off, he was thinking to himself how stupid Stefan had been to get himself shot. And twice! How Stefan saw the shots being aimed and had still not dodged it seems so clumsy, and Edric likes to dwell on it and think that, as more of a man than Stephan, he would have been able to save himself. (Although Edric does know deep down that he can't think of anyone quick enough to dodge a shot, foreseen or not, let alone himself.)

So Edric still hangs about the courtyard, going over all the things Stephan has against him. Always jealous. That's the main problem. 'Stephan's so selfish that he gets jealous if I receive so much as a small gift!" Edric thinks to himself. "I suppose he would consider me spoiled even if I was starved to death!"

Edric's mood plummets as he thinks of his biggest loss to his brother. Vanris.

'If he would only realise how old he is, and act his age, he might see that compared with all the attention and honour he thinks I've had that he hasn't, I've lost something actually worth getting upset about.' A tear threatens to spill down Edric's cheek as he thinks of Vanris. He quickly swipes it away.

Two years ago, Vanris who was from a wealthy family, was brought to the brothers by her parents in the hope that she would marry one of them and so be counted as a royal. Both brothers immediately found her lovely and fought over who would win her hand in marriage. Stephan said that at sixteen, Edric was too young. Edric said that considering Vanris was also sixteen, Stephan at nineteen was obviously too old. Stephan said that a woman needed an older husband who could support her, and Edric had answered that they both could provide the same support; their parents money. This argument continued until it ended with them challenging the other to win her first.

The war for Vanris started. In an vain attempt to make Edric seem less worthy, Stephan had tactlessly pointed out in front of Vanris how Edric still had a few pimples, being so young. In return Edric had refilled Stephan's cup too often at feasts, until Stephan became drunk. Stephan was such an unattractive drunk.

This went on until Edric overheard Vanris telling a friend she didn't know who she would choose out of the brothers, so would just wait for one of them to propose to marry her. Edric considered this and then planned out exactly how he would propose, properly of course, ring and all, waiting just a little too long and then finding that his crude brother had gotten in a few hours before him. Stephan and Vanris married not a week later. And Stephan gloated too, too much.

The argument following the wedding didn't turn physical (as some of their arguments did) but was rather still the worst. Edric remembers now, he remembers exactly what they said to each other. Painful insults, things that can never be taken back, they don't try to take them back anyway. It had ended with Stephan spitting out his deepest thoughts almost like they were a bad taste.

"Happy I will be the day you die, Edric. It will be the most joyful day of my life."

Edric was stung, it was the first time Stephan had ever actually upset him. Did he really think that way? But Edric only flung hatred back at him.

"Thankyou, brother." He answered sarcastically. "But no. You shall die first, and I shall be the one celebrating."

Then they parted for a while, but have fought over other things since, of course. Although Edric's words sounded much like a murder threat, both brothers know it was nothing of the sort. Edric's not the murdering type. Couldn't handle the reputation he'd get.

Since that argument their hate for each other has been darker than ever, darker than even they thought possible. But it's all a secret, except of course Vanris knows something small about it, but not the half.

Edric shivers in the courtyard. Even at noon the autumn chill is uncomfortable after a while. There has been a change in the weather. Edric decides to go upstairs and read.

Overhead the castle's great bell begins to toll as he steps inside. Edric is confused, the noon bell wrung only just now, it is certainly not 1'oclock. The bell continues its dong dong in slow, mourning rings. Not for Stephan, surely. He's not even dead, and the bell rings for him. 'I hope he feels loved.' Edric thinks sarcastically.

The obvious does not even occur to Edric. He heads down the corridor, not noticing the upset looks on the faces of the same people who had earlier looked sympathetic. He intends to pass right by Stephan's room, but the maid runs out and catches his elbow.

"Prince Edric, you can go in." she says, her voice shaking. Edric remains ignorant.

"Oh can I?" he says testily, not noticing how pale she looks. Oh, might as well.

Edric looks into the room and finally he knows. All the maids have left. His father sits slouched forward in a chair, his shoulders shaking with sobs. His mother and Vanris kneel on either side of Stephan's bed, clutching each of his hands. They weep also. Stephan lies still in his bed, his face deathly pale, well, he is dead of course. The few candles in the room have been extinguished, so the room is dark. Edric looks back at Vanris and is taken by pity for her, at the sight of her crying, her lovely dark hair spilt forward covering her face. Poor girl. Loved the wrong man, now she suffers. Edric takes a sharp intake of breath at this sight.

At this sound the three look up at him, still crying. His mother stands, goes to him and embraces him saying, "Edric, your brother is dead." She is trying to be comforting, but Edric knows she needs comfort herself. He certainly doesn't need any. So he tries to be soothing.

"Oh, Mother," Edric attempts sounding upset, but it doesn't really work. Lady Fyrena pulls back.

"Edric, you're not crying dear."

"I know. It's the shock. I can't believe it." Edric looks over at Vanris, who is glaring at him through her tears. She knows better.

"I. I need to be alone. Mother. I'm sorry." Edric's fake stutter and shaky breath comes across well to Fyrena. She nods quickly.

"I think I understand. Go on." She answers. Edric gives his mother a quick kiss, his father a quick hug, Vanris one last look and Stephan barely a glance. That body on the bed is no longer his brother. Everything he hated about Stephan came from his brother's personality and attitude. Edric exits the room.

Instead of going upstairs, he goes back out into the cold. It seems appropriate somehow. Already people are dressing in black. All for Stephan.

Edric realises his hate for his brother is still there, despite his life's demise. He suddenly knows that he is happy that Stephan is dead. He knows he should feel terrible, but he cannot deny it to himself, Stephan's death is. The most relieving thing that has happened to him, ever.

'He is beyond forgiveness, even death would not change that.'

And it hasn't.

On the outside Edric seems quiet from sadness, but really it's because his mind is bent on the inner joy, He is secretly celebrating, basking in the feelings of.

Guilt?

No.

Grim satisfaction.