Neuroses

Cutting, biting, wailing at myself

Because I made an alternate persona for my days

I wish I couldn’t focus on my exterior, interior design

The make-up of my mind

Lamentable endurance of my body

And I pretend

Not to be the murderer I am

Murdering myself every day

Trying to fit the bill

The label on my skin

Breaking my free will

And writhing deep within

I want to profess my neurotic tendencies

Tell someone who can understand

Fathom my emotions

Comprehend a heinous existence

How it hurts to smile

How I hurt myself on the outside

To kill the thing on the inside

How I hide from help

While screaming all the while

I am my own therapist

Reminding myself that I’m alive

Recommending new alternatives

To remedy my personality disorder

Creating new diagnoses daily

Recording my ambivalence

I didn’t try to kill myself

I just tried to make hell go away