A/N: On behalf of all the prudes in the world, you are not alone. This story is for you. I am not proud to admit it, but all in all, I am one of these shy people. There are some obstacles I had to override to achieve non-prudedom, and even so, I am not completely cured. But to all who are, don’t let it get you down, I got far being prude. ^_- 

“ Love is the only force capable of transforming an enemy into a friend.”

***

 “ Mm. Brownies!”

“ Now don’t shove them all in your mouth like that Haley. You could choke and-”

“ Mmf?”

“ Never mind.” I pushed the plate towards her. She grabbed a grubby handful of brownies and I sighed. Babysitting was supposed to be easy. I’ve been babysitting Haley since she was four and I never had an easy time. Being seventeen doesn’t make you any more reliable than a thirteen year old. I looked out the window and adjusted my sweater. I could be out there with Mira and Karl but I'm stuck with this little brat. I desperately needed a cigarette. I could feel the urge ruining my mind. I gripped the lighter in my pocket. I just didn’t have any time yet. But I'm sure Karl would have some cigarettes; he always does. I turned to Haley and she was finger painting with the brownies on the table. How utterly disgusting. I got up and got some paper towels to wash it off the table.

“ Hey Haley, want to go to the park? I’m sure there are a lot of doggies there.”

“ Yeah, yeah!”

“ Alright, let me get your leash...” I joked. She giggled and pointed at a piece of rope.

“ Don’t tell me your parents tie you up outside.”

“ My daddy sometimes lets me be a real doggie.”

I shook my head in disbelief. I was never treated like an animal as a child.

“ Just put your sweater on. And hurry.” I told her and she smiled at me and then at the rope. “ No, I'm not taking you for a walk like a dog. That’s... not right.”

Her face sank, but she ran to go get her sweater anyhow. She also brought along a stuffed animal dog. This girl was, and always has been obsessed with dogs. I shook my head at her piteousness, and took out my cell phone. I dialed up Mira and waited.

“ Yeah?” her gruff voice commanded.

“ You and Karl at the park, now.” I said quickly and I could practically hear her nod.

“ And I need cigarettes.” I added, and she made an agreeing noise. We hung up and I put the phone away, seeing Haley’s sad face in front of me. She looked near tears.

“ What?” I asked, surprisingly softly.

“ You’re going to hang out with your scary friends and not pay attention to me again.”

“ No I’m not.”

“ Yes you ARE!” She stomped her foot. I shook my head once again and scooped her up.

“ If I was going to do that, I would just leave you her. God damn, you’re getting heavy.”

“ No swearing.” She pouted. “ I like the old Hope.”

“ The old Hope is the same as the new one. I haven’t changed. Maybe you have, little girl.”

She didn’t say anything and I struggled to open the door. She reached down and opened it. The sadness in her eyes made me feel bad.

“ Remember, it used to be Hope and Haley? Now its like its just Hope.”

“ It isn’t. What’s wrong with your thinking today, man? I'm still the same.” I set her down outside. She immediately began walking to the park. The good thing about kids: you don’t have to push them in a stroller; they can walk. I chuckled and searched my pockets for any trace of a cigarette. Not a single crumb of tobacco. I heaved a sigh and glided along behind the girl. She persisted on hopping around in the puddles.

“ You’re going to get wet, and then you have to change your clothes.” I said to her in a sardonic tone. She seemed not to listen to me, so I just let her jump in her damn puddles. I looked up and saw Mira and Karl sitting on the bench, smoking already. I sneered at them. They always did that to piss me off. They know my cravings are wild. I ran over to them and grabbed the whole pack from Karl. He smiled, exposing his sharpened teeth. Back then he used to be the gothic creepy boy. Always freaking people out in the halls. He got bored of no one responding to him anymore, so now he gave up. But his teeth are still sharpened. They gleamed at me and I wondered if this was his ‘go ahead and take them’ smile, or his ‘I’ll kill you if you take them’ smile. Then he began to make his deep chortling noise and I knew I couldn’t keep the cigs. Mira looked at me and blew the smoke in my face. I opened my mouth to inhale it. The smell drove me mad. I suddenly remembered Haley and turned to find her. She was sitting on a swing all alone. I handed to pack back to Karl.

“ Karl, can you go push her?”

He raised his eyes to me through his long unkempt hair. I gave him a pleading look and he smiled once again. A genuine smile. With that smile, he walked over to her and began to talk to her. In a few seconds Haley was giggling. I turned to Mira and raised my eyebrows. She shrugged and hopped off the table.

“ So, what’s the story?” She asked me.

“ Another boring day. Another girl falling in love with Karl.”

“ Another one came up to you?”

“ Two.”

“ Oh Jesus.” She moaned. We looked over at Karl. “ And he thought his sole intent was to scare girls away.”

“ I wonder if he’ll ever tell them. I don’t think anyone notices that he’s a flaming homosexual.”

“ He sure fooled me.” She shook her head and grinned a little bit. Her dark brown hair was cut short and spiked up in crazy directions. She hadn’t changed her hairstyle in a year. Her dark make-up was beginning to fade as the day wore on. Out of our little group, I supposed I am the most ‘normal’, but at school, I am still classified as one of those dumb depressed kids with nothing to do but carve dirty words into desks and such. School made absolutely no sense to me. But one more year and I would be out, so I had to hold on for the time being. I felt a tap on my shoulder and turned around to face Karl, holding Haley’s hand.

“ She’s bored.” He said in his annoyed voice. He picked her up and put her on the table next to Mira. Mira glared at Haley and Karl just stood there. I heard the noise of feet scuffing on the ground, and turned around. There was Trevor and his girlfriend. They were talking in low voices and not holding hands for once. I rolled my eyes at them and turned back to Mira. She was watching them intently. I knew she liked Trevor. Everyone liked Trevor. And Trevor liked anything with a vagina. They got closer and I could hear them now, and I could see the girl was crying.

“ But why?” She sniffled. “ I was loyal.”

“ Its not you... its me. I'm easily bored.” He leaned down to look into her eyes in what seemed to be a ‘cute’ motion. She smiled slightly. “ We can be friends.” He patted her shoulder and left her there. She turned and walked away sobbing. Trevor came closer and closer to us and I got his full details. He was wearing a shirt torn up from too many concerts, his black pants rolled and pinned at the cuffs, and his really old white-now brown chucks. On top was a worn out jean jacket. Half of his eye-length hair was blond and half was black. His blue eyes shone at Mira and he winked. She smirked at him, but I knew inside she was getting as giddy as a normal girl. I never met him before; I doubt he’s even ever seen me prior to this. I looked him over once again. He was extremely skinny and scrawny yet well built. I found myself staring at his skinny legs.

“ Hey.” It said. I mean he said.

I pretended not to notice. I kept staring at his pretty legs. I felt Mira nudge me in an attempt to lift my head. It worked and I looked up and saw this odd boy staring at me. His eyes grew wide and he titled his head to look at me, much like a dog.

“ I said hey.” He said again, his voice all velvety. I really didn’t want to say anything, but I just wanted him to go away.

“ Hell-o?”

“ Yeah I thought you’d say that.” He looked at me much like the way he was looking at his girlfriend, or ex-girlfriend, just a few moments ago. “ So, you’re the prude?” he asked maliciously. I glared at him as he chuckled. It wasn’t funny, not to me at least, but everyone seemed to know it. It wasn’t that bad; I just never had a boyfriend. I felt arms wrap around me and I shuddered with cold. I turned to look into Karl’s face and he smiled and hugged me closer. I put my arms back and wrapped them around his back. The grin faded off Trevor’s face. He looked back and forth at us then shrugged and seemed to mutter “Never mind.” He looked at the ground and his cell phone rang. He pulled it out and it was a really old banged up model. He walked away, but from what I could hear, the conversation was with his mom. Karl let go of me and picked Haley up, swinging her around.

“ Its kind of getting cold guys. Can we leave?” Mira asked so subtly. I nodded and took Haley from Karl. She didn’t seem to want to leave. Karl started to walk away with Mira and she started screaming.

“ No! I want Karl!”

“ Haley honey, you can't have him, he has to go home.”

“ Would you like a piece of Karl?” He asked, butting in. Haley looked at him questionably, and he took off the little chain he was wearing and put it around her neck. She smiled and touched it. We finally got to go home.

“ Hope? This is the last time you’re baby-sitting me.”

“ What? Why?” I screamed.

“ Well, my parents don’t trust you anymore. So they got a new babysitter who doesn’t want so much money.” She said then her face got pouty. “ But now I want Karl.” She whined. I petted her head, sort of relieved that I wasn’t going to baby-sit her. I spared myself the trouble of waiting for her parents and split right there, only putting her to bed before leaving. I walked out into the night. I followed the light of the streetlamps down the road to nowhere. I found a bus bench and sat there. There was some kid with headphones blasting something. It was so quiet that I could hear the sound of the music. He was tapping his foot against the pavement and the whole scene was beautiful. I wanted to take a picture, but even if I had my camera, this would be too dark. I looked at the shoe. It was a white...chuck? I tried to see his face, but it was way too dark. I didn’t think he even noticed me yet. It couldn’t be Trevor anyway. He would be home, wouldn’t he?

“ Hey.” I heard the voice and my body went rigid. I looked forward and didn’t make a sound. “ Now don’t get all freaky on me. I don’t bite.”

“ Yeah right.” I accidentally let slip.

“ You speak! That’s amazing. Can you do tricks too?” he smirked at me. I scooted a little farther away from him. Some old lady came and sat between us. I was temporarily relieved but then I looked up and he was standing above me. I sighed and averted my eyes.

“ Hey girl. Why don’t you talk to me? What’s your name anyway?” He asked purely curious. I tried to remind myself that he was only after my vagina. So again, I didn’t reply to his demand.

“ Aw come on. What’s wrong with me? Why do you hate me? You don’t even know me!”

I know enough about you, I thought.

“ Alright, what’d you hear?” he asked, sitting down on the pavement and putting his head in his hand.

“ Why should I tell you? I don’t even know you.” I mimicked him. He only smiled at me with that silly grin. I decided to stop talking to him again.

“ I'm not that bad. I'm a good guy. Ask anyone. I mean, wait, no, not anyone ‘cause some people seem to think I’m bad for some odd reason...” He pondered. I saw the bus rolling in and smiled to myself. He was probably waiting for the bus; I wasn’t. I looked at the bus and waited for him to get up and get on it. He must have noticed my frown because he turned around at the leaving bus.

“ Shit.” He said, somewhat dazed. “ Oh well, I’ll just walk.” He got up and started to walk away, forgetting about me. “ I have to call...wait no. I broke up with her. Never mind.” He seemed to be muttering to himself. I ignored him and wondered what I would do all day, well, night. I watched his shadow creep away and I wondered if the gas station would sell me cigarettes this time. I started walking in that direction. The night was lingering like a thick smoke. I hated the dark; you never knew what could happen. I listened to my footsteps hit the ground in a melodic pattern, which seemed to match the song currently stuck in my head. I smiled at the thought and sang softly to myself, trying to keep me company. It worked and I got to the gas station where I found the nice clerk working. After pumping a fist, I entered and put on a big grin.

“ Hey you.” He said, chewing on a piece of candy. “ I was practically waiting for you.”

“ Yeah well, I ran out.”

“ It happens. So you want the Marlboro?”

“ Yup.”

“ Alright.” He rang it up. As I paid I realized that I for once didn’t have a craving for the cigarettes. That was odd. I shook off the feeling and said goodbye and left.

The bell on the door rang as I left and it amused me that stores still had those. I decided it was time to go home and face the parents. Before I left for Haley’s house, they had gotten my report card. I was yelled at for getting a B in English. So I just left. I didn’t need that. The B seemed pretty good to me, but of course my parents don’t see how it’s good enough. It was the end of the semester and I would be in a different English course with new people, so I didn’t care to try and change the grade.

   When I walked to the door I was relieved to see that my parents were asleep already. My brother was in the kitchen rummaging for food. I walked in and slapped his head. He whipped around to face me with his fists up. He’s such a jock it’s scary.

“ What do you want Hope?”

“ Only to smack you brother. Only to smack you.”

He omitted a growling sound and I laughed. He closed the refrigerator and turned to me.

“ You’re girl, right?”

“ No Matt, I'm a man.”

He rolled his eyes.

“ What would you want a guy to get you for your birthday?”

“ A vibrator.”

“ Very funny. I need to know.”

“ Well from you, its surprising to get anything. But what would make Joyce happy is probably some jewelry, like a necklace, and a purse or something. I got it! Put a necklace in a purse.” I said holding my finger up.

“ You’re a genius.” He said with eyes wide. “ How would you know?”

“ I'm a girl Matt.”

“ Oh yeah, I thought you were a man.”

This time I rolled my eyes. He went off to his room to sleep and I went to the basement where the computer was. I would have to talk off my depression with a girl from England. The internet is so extremely useful.