THE A/N IS IMPORTANT IF YOU DON'T KNOW CHAUCER!!!

A/N: Chaucer is considered the first satirist. He started a collection of stories called the Canterbury Tales during the 14th century (that is, the 1300's). Unfortunately, the poor man died b4 he could finish it. Even so, its widely published, yaddah yaddah b/c its the earliest satire!
To get this, you have to know a couple things. In the Canterbury Tales, Chaucer takes the voice of the narrator who accompanied perhaps two dozen other people on their holy pilgrimage to Canterbury. Along the way, they play a game in which the person who tells the best story doesn't have to buy dinner...yea. So in the prologue, Chaucer introduces each character, and then that person tells their story, and then at the end, the narration often comes back to the voice of Chaucer. That is the format of this.
Sorry to people who don't like rhyme; as this was an English assignment and an emulation, I had to write in iambic quartameter, (though Chaucer actually used iambic pentameter), and in rhymed couplets. But its not that bad. Promise.

General Prologue

"And then came Brian from the shore,
Returned at last from college board
And accolades were granted him
As he returned amid the din
Of fam'ly, friends, admirers all
who listened to his tales, enthralled.
For they had missed the part of life
That he had lived in months gone by.
And tears were cried, yes tears of joy
For having missed the 'lovely boy',
His kindness, wit, and modesty;
Well loved, and well received, was he.

"Home but a week, and then he left,
(And leaving fam'ly much bereft;
So happy at his coming home,
And so surprised to see him go),
And joined our pilgrimage to see
The architecture, he told me:
The palaces of grand design,
The marble halls and doors of pine,
The spires that could scrape the sky--
All studied in the days gone by.
So anxiously he did await,
At every town and every gate,
The streets and earthly things beyond--
Not overly concerned with God.

"But otherwise, a valiant man
Who'd staunchly by his morals stand;
He scorned to lie, yes he'd defend
Integrity until the end!
Ignoring tack and protocol
Yes he was honest to a fault.
And quoting that which he'd been taught,
'You cannot be that which you're not,
I guarantee, he'd give to you
If nothing else, the brutal truth.

"He traveled in the best of clothes--
That's old, and comf'table, of course--
And worn, well used, 'well-loved', he'd say,
'The simple things will last the days'.
All costly baubles he abhorred
And scorned to spend much money, for
His own disgust he could not hide
At arrogance or undue pride.
For who would like a snob or prep
Who flaunts his goods with every step?
A frugal man, I must confess,
--At least, that is, concerning dress.
For fond was he of programs, games,
Computers, music, all the rage
Of college dorms, and ne'er blinked twice,
If one of these was overpriced.

"But when the time comes home to work
He'll do the job and never shirk
His duty, long though it may be,
He'll labour; such a man is he!
For he can do it, yes, by God,
If any man can do the job!
He'll tell you so, and prove his worth,
By showing you the product first.
But let us not forget his heart
Its brilliance shining from the start,
For its reason why we call
Him trustworthy, despite his faults.
He does remain, please understand,
A loving, well-intentioned man.

"But silence, friends, now let him talk;
And tell the tale to which we'll walk."

The Swimmer's Tale

" 'While I was yet in freshman year
A match 'gainst SLUH* was drawing near
And om'nously the meet did loom,
A herald to my pending doom.
For SLUH had twenty-thousand men,
(Against our scant fifteen), to swim.
And all of them were qualified;
Not me, no matter how I tried.
To be quite frank, in my first year
As swimmer, I had one great fear:
Of ridicule, and outright shame;
Of being in the losing lane.
For I had no ability,
To swim at all, or so it seemed.
For true to my prediction, I
Did swim so slow, I fell behind.
I lost the relay for my team
(And indirectly, lost the meet).

" 'Yet even so, I persevered,
That is; I joined a second year.
And as a junior, sealed my fate:
I shattered records--went to state!
And rarely did I find a team
Whose boys did swim as fast as me.

" 'By senior year, I was the best,
(At 'fly that is); and all the rest
Were fairly good, at least had skill;
We had a swimming team to kill.
As Senior Captains of the Team
We led the boys to victory.
Defeated three amazing teams
To boost the Burroughs sports prestige!
And woe begone were all our foes
(May God have mercy on their souls.)
I do not say this all to boast
I tell you naught but truth--I hope.
That is, you see...a year has passed,
And memories--they do fade fast!...
No matter, that's the way things go.
We were the best; that much I know.

" 'But even though I'd reached my prime,
I looked out for the little guys.
And in return they cheered for me
In my events, at every meet.
And when the boys were feeling down
I'd rush the pool and rally'em round.
They'd see me swim, and cheer right up
And jumping in, scream, "Let's Warm Up!"

" 'The lesson friends? Do what you like,
The battle's lost if you don't fight;
And never search for easy outs;
Do not succumb to hardship, doubt.
For I did not, and look at me!:
Now hero of a winning team.' "

[Chaucer speaks...]

"And so you see our architect
our athlete, was quite adept
at swim and race and other sport
and not opposed to give report
to you of how'd he'd won the meet
(for all his hatred of conceit).
Yet having said all that, I wish
that you, my friends, forgive him this;
For otherwise, an angel's he
(which if if you stay, you'll surely see).
A precious, if imperfect gem,
irrevocably bound to him
We are, and by the gods above,
He's won respect, our trust, our love."

*SLUH is a school where I live :)