This is just boredom. In no freaking way is it factual, or original. Basically, after being immersed in too much WWII history, I decided it would be funny to have a dumb sort of reality show with a bunch of Nazis and people who come over and start more crap. If you don't R&R, I will be far from offended as I know this sucks and is not a piece of outstanding literary accomplishment. Thank you for your time. If you're still reading. . .you're a loony.

Almost last note. There is bad language, and obviously racial slurs, fat/gay/idiot/blond etc. jokes. The characters do not express my own beliefs, so . . . don't get mad. If you are easily offended, don't read this.

Our Lovely Cast

Adolf Hitler-If you don't know this, I'm gonna cry.

Heinrich Himmler- Head of the SS.

Joseph Goebbels- Minister of Propaganda

Hermann Goering- Air Marshall

Rudolph Hess- Hitler's Deputy

Erwin Rommel-General on loan to Italy.

Reinhard Heydrich-Himmler's right hand man.

Ernst Kaltenbrunner-The replacement for Heydrich.

Martin Bormann-Hitler's secretary.

Hermann Fegelein-SS General

Karl Doentiz-Naval commander

And. . . Joachim von Ribbentrop-Foreign Minister

Co-Starring

Ilse Hess Eva Braun, Annelies von Ribbentrop, Rudolph von Ribbentrop, Emmy and Edda Goering, The Goebbels Clan, Wolf-Ruediger Hess, Gudrun Himmler, Hedwig, Lucie Rommel, Manfred Rommel, Lina Heydrich, Roland Freisler, Karl Brandt, Schellenberg

AN: This is all in English . . . except the announcer who only speaks in Germisch.

Announcer: Wilkommen!! Tzu das new reality show, vehr ein bunch of crazy Nazis live together.

Adolf: Shut up! I am not crazy!

Announcer: I apologize, mein fuehrer!

[Cameraman walks through the door of the house. Pans around, showing a bunch of crazy Nazis killing each other]

Adolf: The Americans are watching!

[They all stop]

All minus Rommel: Sorry, my leader!

[Rommel snorts and throws a lamp at Adolf when the leader turns to the camera]

Himmler: It was Rommel!

Goering and Goebbels: It was Ribbentrop!

Joachim: What? It was you!!

Rommel: It was you, Adolf. . .crazy bastard.

Heydrich and Kaltenbrunner: It should have been me.

Hess: Huh?

Bormann: What?

[Adolf looks at them all suspiciously. Rommel rolls his eyes and walks into the kitchen, followed by Doenitz. Goering, Himmler, Goebbels, Bormann, and Joachim all point at each other]

All: It was him!

Goebbels: I'm your best buddy Adolf.

Himmler: As your 2nd in command. . .

Goering: That would be me.

Hess and Joachim: Megalomaniac.

Bormann: They are all spitting lies.

[Rommel from the kitchen]: Oh shut up! I did it!

Adolf: Ah ha! I knew you were a traitor Rommel!

Goebbels: No he's not. I told you it was Ribbentrop .or maybe Himmler. . .or Goering. Rommel is loyal.

Goebbels: [flips switch behind his ear and his eyes turn hypnotic.]: It was . . .

Joachim: Bloody lying bastard.

Adolf: [in monotone] It was Bloody Lying Bastard.

Goebbels: Shit. [turns off switch]

Hess: Who is Bloody Lying Bastard?

Goering: Goebbels!

Himmler: Goering!

[They all continue arguing until the doorbell rings]

Goering: Damn. [Secretly puts his gun in his fat]

Adolf: Heinrich! Answer the door! Martin! Find Bloody Lying Bastard! He threw a lamp at me.

[Himmler leaps up and races to the door. He opens it . . . Stalin, Molotov and a translator are standing there.]

Himmler: Aw damn, it's the Soviets again. [He smiles really falsely] Hello Comrade Stalin.

Adolf and the others: [whining] Not the commies!

[Joachim runs up with an equally fake smile.]

Joachim: Welcome to . . . our house?

[Stalin's interpreter turns to him]

Interpreter: He said :We hate you, and we should have beat you at Stalingrad. Oh, and: You look like a Jewish bastard.

[Joachim's smile falters, as Stalin glares furiously]

Stalin: Tell that cocky bastard, that if the other bastards hadn't taken away anything remotely useful . . . I would blow off his freakin' head.

Interpreter: He apologizes for not calling first. And he says he humbly begs forgiveness.

[All of the Germans look at each other.]

Goering: Tell him to go to hell.

Interpreter [To Stalin]: They said come in.

[Stalin and the Soviets enter]

Molotov: What a Capitalist dump.

Interpreter: He would like to know if you want a Molotov Cocktail.

Himmler: No!

Hess: Sure! [Goebbels leans over and whispers to Hess] No! No!

[Adolf and Stalin sit down, and immediately begin arguing. Both having no clue what the other is saying. Molotov and Joachim sit down, and glare at each other. Rommel and Doenitz come back from the kitchen]

Rommel and Doenitz: Crap, the Soviets.

Bormann: Traitors! Kill them Great Leader!

Goebbels: Shut up!

Goering: All of you shut up! [Takes out the gun he was hiding in his rolls of fat]

Heydrich: Fat ass has a gun.

Kaltenbrunner: So?

[The Russians and Germans all look at him and continue arguing. Adolf and Josef start slapping each other. Goering shoots wildly into the fray]

Screen dims.

Announcer: Danke for vatching Nazi Hause! Vatch next voch's episode mit a new surprise!

AN: I should be putting up chapter two, if you like it. . . I'll keep writing it. Really fun, no burden when you're not trying for perfection, you know?