Thinking Hurts

It hurts to think
I try to ask myself about my future
Just to start my own conversation,
But nothing good comes of my thoughts.

I thought about growing up,
Which led me to early years of angst and pain;

I thought about being in love,
Which only brought me a broken heart;

I thought about my walk with God,
But I found I was farther than I'd ever been;

I thought about my friends
And the many who've severed their connections to me;

I thought about you,
And how we could never be more than friends
Because there's not enough difference

How can I ever plan ahead
If I always find ways to mess up my life?
I want to grow up,
I want to be in love,
I want to keep relationships,
And I want to love you more than I do;
But I've found that thinking hurts.