Asleep

Once upon a time there was a girl and she was always asleep.

She remembered the world before she was consumed by darkness even though it seemed unreal to her sleeping mind. It seemed like a dream to her. She could remember the warmth of the sun; the cool breeze of the evening; the crisp feeling of the raindrops on her skin; and the taste of the snowflake caught on her tongue. However, a part of her thought that maybe she had never been awake, that she had always been asleep and that her vague and hazy memories were merely fragments of dreams. Memories that were not true to herself.

One day, she woke up, but found that darkness lingered. The place she thought she remembered was gone. The sun seemed hot now, burning her skin and making her eyes sting; the wind cut through her like a knife and brought chills down to her bones; the raindrops no longer felt crisp or refreshing, but stung her body like thousands of tiny needles; and when she caught a snowflake on her tongue it tasted bitter, dirty even, and coughed at the revolting taste. Drawing her knees to her chest she felt the tears start to form. This was not her world, this was not the place she left behind all of those ages ago. How could this place be the same one she remembered.

The girl closed her eyes and waited for darkness to overcome her. She, she wanted to fall asleep and stay asleep, away from this world and its horrors: its sun that was too bright; its wind that was too cold; the raindrops that stung her skin; and the snowflakes that tasted dirty. Away from this strange place where darkness lingered even when her eyes were open. This would that was so different than that of her fragmented memories. All so strange, so dark, so different.

Yet as the girl, knees dawn up to her chest, arms hugging herself, and eyes squeezed shut, waited for sleep to overcome her, she found that none came. No sense of relief washed over her. Her mind would not settle down, her nerves unable to relax, even her eyes seemed to open on their own accord. She wanted to sleep, she wanted to get away from it all, back to her darkness and her dreams. This world was too frightening, too different, too everything and she did not like it at all.

Once upon a time there was a girl and she was always asleep. On that day she woke up, no longer consumed by darkness, she was now consumed by fear of this strange and new world that made no sense to her.

And for a time she did not move. For a time she hid from this world wishing to fall asleep again. She wanted to hide forever and prayed that this world would simply fade away like a passing storm. Goose bumps formed on her body and she shivered violently. Tears streamed down her face and for the first time ever: She felt alone.

When she was asleep she never felt alone. Her dreams kept her company and that was all she needed. Though the dreams were not real she did not know any other reality than that of one formed in the mind. Now she was awake and in this world where she had no dreams to keep her company. Where she could not do as she wished, where pain and sadness existed to the full extent, all emotions she did not know how to deal with. All so strange and new to her, much like the world she now resided in.

Her eyes looked to the sky and she saw something, something strange start to form. The rain fell from the clouds in tiny acidic drops, but through the bleak grey there were small rays of sunlight starting to pour through. They were small rays of sunlight, but sunlight never the less. The girl left the cover of the place where she slept and stepped out into the rain. She tensed when she felt the droplets of rain, but bit back the urge to run for cover again. The rain soaked her skin and the simple clothes she wore. Her eyes followed the rays of sunshine to the horizon when she saw something new, something that she could only describe as...beautiful.

It started out so light that she was sure that she was only imagining it...but it grew brighter as more sun poured from the Heaven’s and the rain did not cease. Colors began to appear in the sky, all lined together in a half circle going from one great mountain to another. For a moment, the girl forgot the acidic raindrops and the burning sensation in her eyes, all of her was focused on that mix of color in the sky before her. The only thoughts that ran through her mind were was that of I never dreamed this... For all time, she thought she dreamed everything in the world, all that was important anything, all that she needed to know.

The colors faded as the sun broke through. Squinting, she ran for cover in the place where she slept her mind unable to forget the mass of color that she had just witnessed. Her blood pumped through her veins struggling to keep up with rapid beating of her young heart. Her eyes glanced toward her bed and she suddenly felt as if, if she wanted to, she could sleep again. She could fall asleep and dream again. That she could forget this world with all of its strange changes and...its splashes of color that formed in the sky when the Heaven’s rained sun and precipitation fell from at once. The bed looked comfortable, warm, safe, even welcoming.

Once upon a time there was a girl and she was always asleep. One day, she woke up and witnessed beauty for the first time.

She looked at the bed for a long time before turning and leaving it behind. She stepped out into the sunlight and made her eyes tiny slits as they adjusted to the bright light of the sun. As the light lessened, she looked at the world around her. The ground felt wet under her bare feet, dirt squishing up between her toes. Raindrops fell off tree branches and leaves making small puddles. This world did not seem so strange anymore, if anything, it felt...right and it felt real. She closed her eyes and thought of the world from her broken memories...perhaps they were not so broken after all. The girl observed the world around, this new and strange world, a place that seemed so new and yet so old.

She took a step forward and then another. She glanced over her shoulder at the place where she slept, where she hid in darkness for all of those ages. The place where she dreamed of what she thought was paradise and the world that she left behind. Where she was never alone and given the company of a fake world that existed only in her mind. She turned her back on that place and walked away from it no longer afraid of the world that lay before her.

Once upon a time there was a girl and she was always asleep. One day she woke up and was frightened by the new world presented to her. She wanted to fall asleep again and hide from this strange new world yet all of those fears faded when she witnessed beauty. Unable to push the images from her mind, she turned away from the world of dreams and fantasies to the world where everything was real. She went into the world unafraid of the possible dangers that lay ahead.

Once upon a time there was a girl and she was always asleep. One day, she woke up.

-05/08/04