He sat at one end of the corner-shaped couch and I sat at the other. Feeling self-conscious around him was all my own fault because of how I felt about him. He was ignorant of that, though. I don't remember why he had his pull-up bar off the wall and in his hands, but he was fidgeting with it, making me laugh. That was always him at his most generous: when he was making me laugh. I rattled on about something that seemed important at the time. He was using the bar as a telescope now. I could see his eye framed by circular shadows, almost separate from the rest of him. His stare was solid. I blinked and looked away, rattling some more. I finished; he said nothing, and I looked at him. He was still looking through his "telescope." And then I noticed where his gaze was pointed. I drew a deep breath and called his name. He answered without moving. I drew another and the words came out effortlessly. "I know it's hard to avoid but could you look at my face and not my chest?" He dropped the bar and looked at me half-apologetically, half-comically. I'm sure he was just the tiniest bit embarrassed, but his complexion didn't show it like most people.

Somehow that spurred us into another conversation. This one was about how he can't get a girlfriend. I told him he was looking in the wrong places if no girls would go out with him. But after his "telescope" I thought that maybe he was looking in the right places, just not asking the right questions. He said he really just wanted someone to make out with. The words were not on the tip of my tongue. They were filling my mouth to the bursting point. I thought I would gag. By the look on his face, so did he. His face tilted forward just the tiniest bit. He was waiting for my response. I think he knew what I wanted to say. Maybe he didn't; maybe he was just waiting for a witty remark. But I swallowed it. Inside I was screaming Me Me Me! But I said the first formable words to float to the surface of my torrential mind: "typical male." He was visibly let down. But not half as much as I was, nor for the same reason I imagine. I had all the time in the world, but I would have told him I only had an hour.