I could sense her desire to flee, an intense fidgeting habit of hers, as she laid curled against me. My strong arms wrapped around her tiny frame. I memorized her features and my breath steadied with hers. I closed my eyes and let the serenity of the moment take me over.

"I should go," Liv's voice whispered, shattering the silence.

My smile vanished. I eluded sympathy to her. She couldn't compete with history, my "history". Still, I didn't want Liv to go. I inwardly begged for history to leave, if only for a little while. But that was not a reality.

I walked her out of the bedroom. And once it was out of sight and we were in the dark, I guided my hand down the delicate curve of her ribs. She smiled and opened the front door to my apartment.

Sheets of raindrops were pouring from the darkened, cloud-filled sky. She giggled slightly, displaying a rare innocence, as I followed her into the rain. My clothes clung to my body as the rain soaked through. She shivered as we trudged slowly to her car. I shed my hoodie and pulled it over her.

We paused at the driver's door and Liv leaned against it, her eyes focused on the asphalt. The rain dripped down my forehead and into my eyes. Liv's hair seemed to absorb the water and the breeze blew dripping chunks of chocolate colored hair onto her face. I brushed the soaking strands away.

Her eyes lifted up towards me. I felt a grin broke through on my face. A pure smile for once not forced or strained.

"I've always wanted to be kissed in the rain," She whispered. Her voice a mixture of hope and regret, "by someone I loved and well, vice versa."

Liv's voice trailed off. She didn't finish, but she didn't have to. I knew she was referring to me. And, truthfully, I wanted to kiss her.

I couldn't though. My history, my girlfriend, was whom I held my loyalties to. We had been together for so long, months that had turned to years. Plus, Liv was young, probably too young. I did care for her, liked her even, but not enough to disconnect from my history. I liked Liv; I loved my girlfriend. And so, I couldn't kiss her.

I met her sad eyes with my own and stared blankly into them.

"I can't," I choked. I wanted to say more, to explain to her my feelings, but I couldn't. My throat tightened constricting the airflow as I gazed upon the pained expression on her face.

I opened my mouth to convey my feelings to her, but she held up a finger to my lips. My thoughts disappeared.

" 'The worst way to miss someone," she spoke, her voice unsteady, "is to have them sitting right there and know you can't have them.' "

I touched her cheek wiping away water droplets, "Who's quote is that?"

She shrugged, "I don't know..it's true though."

I nodded not knowing any other way to respond. We stood there for what seemed like endless hours, but was probably only seconds. I wanted to kiss her.

I embraced her in my strong grasp, my nose catching a hint of vanilla lingering in her hair. I closed my eyes letting the rain wash over us and the feel take me over.

"Goodbye, Chris," Liv's voice arose over the sound of the rain. She opened her car door and climbed in. I watched as she started the car and pulled out of the parking space.

"I wanted to." The words came, finally escaping my lips, as I watched her drive away. But by then it was too late.