Strings of Fate

I’ve been lost in thought for a thousand years

I have nothing left but a fountain of fears

Strings tighten around my wrists

My body falters as it twists

I do not know what to do

I didn’t know I’d ever miss you

My life has always been a mess

I have no comfort but distress

Will I ever find the light

And pull myself out of this plight

I don’t think I ever will

And so this job I must fulfill

These strings control my very life

I cannot just end it with a knife

Like so many others do

My skin has turned the palest hue

I must bear the insanity

With that I lose my humanity

But now those who were once dear to me

Thankfully will never see

The monster that I have become

Though my emotions are forever numb

But that matters not anymore

As in my mind there is a war

I could not keep a promise once made

Between two best friends within the glade

That person whom I held so close

All I remember of you is morose

Now you are forever gone

With that I become withdrawn

I wish to know what we used to be

I had let out this unheard plea

In hopes that someone would listen

But as my faith began to glisten

It plummeted into the depth

Of my shattered heart, I wept

It hurts when the one you cherish the most

Hates you from the very ghost

Now I’m held up high by strings

I hear the blade as it sings

I feel the pain but don’t cry out

It comes again for another bout

Crimson tears fall from my eyes

Pulling away my human disguise

Revealing me for the beast I am

Though no longer do I give a damn

I never deserved to start anew

But my fate is overdue

They gave me life as their puppet toy

My pain gave them nothing but joy

So no longer did I cry out

When the blade fell without

Any warning that it came

But to me it was all the same

If they had just left me then and there

I wouldn’t have to live with my despair

But held by strings of apathy and hate

I suppose this will have to be my fate

I remember there once was a time I could smile

Back then you thought I was worthwhile

I now wish we had never met

I had destroyed your life with no regret

If I never existed you would still be here

But I cannot shed even one more tear

I no longer hold faith in humanity

That was lost in the insanity

These strings of fate which hold me tight

I have already lost the fight

What more do I have to lose

And in these final moments I muse

I wonder if we would have stayed friends

Yet I could not bring myself to tie loose ends

I just wish for you to know

Even if you still hate me from your grave in the snow

That I love you, even now

And if only you could allow

Me entry to your broken heart

I could have stopped this from the very start

Though I still find this is all my fault

Deep within that hidden vault

Lie the lives that we have long lost

We dearly paid the ultimate cost

And so, in the final moments of life

Will end my despairing strife

The blade has finally cut my strings

And my mind is flooded with millions of things

I look up sadly one last time

Blood flows everywhere with the rhyme

Nothings holding me up so I fall down

In the sea of black I will surely drown

So here I lay, lost in thought

My time has come, I’m glad I fought

I find I can smile just for you

It’s really too bad that you never knew

I tried to say that it was you I loved

Because in the darkness I was shoved

I didn’t know how to and that was my guilt

So for you there weaves a quilt

Your life plastered upon the threads

For time and eternity it spreads

I am not worthy to forgive

I just wanted you to live

So they let me have you reborn

From my body, bloody and torn

So let this be my final goodbye

And if you ever wonder why

Please don’t, the strings have now let me go

So my tears are lost in the snow

Just remember my smiling face

So you will know my resting place

In your heart is where I now lie

You are a child again, looking at the sky

I’m wrapping my ethereal arms around you warmly

You act as if this happens normally

What I would give to feel sunlight upon my face

But I am content now, with you lost in my embrace

I remember in the snow when I was lost

I met you playing in the frost

At first I felt so very strange

Then when you began to change

We made a promise in the glade

Sitting under a tree in the shade

I never let the emotion show

But now that I’m here, I truly know

The strings used cut me so badly

You would tend to my wounds so very sadly

I once lost something so very dear

That was you, but I found you here

Lights dance around us as the darkness falls

The birds let out their final calls

But please remember this once last night

Our final time together, fading away with the light

*

On my word document, the poem itself was three pages long. I’m rather proud of it, to say the least.