THE BEST TRIP EVER! 2003

By: Frito Dal Hughie Bandito Bob Stupid Funky Chicken

A/N: This is from last summer, and it's... different than my other stuff. Just funny, not that well written, or long. I hope you enjoy it anyway. And yes, this is a true story. All of it. Even the dialogue.

Chapter 1

The Senator and Frito were in a car. They were on their vacation. Sounds, dramatic, doesn't it? Well, it's not. In fact, by the time you are finished, it maye just be the stupidest thing you've ever wasted your precious time on.

While in Frito's mom's Ford Focus, they passed a store. In the store window, there was a neon orange-colored sign that said "We sell boxes."

Now, Frito and the Senator, while being easily amused people, found this EXTREMELY amusing.

About five minutes later, after dropping the Retard of All Time off at her dad's house, the crew stopped at a Bigfoot gas station to buy some twenty-ounce Cokes for the ride. Frito got her usual Sobe Tsunami ("Sobe yourself."), and the Senator got her Mountain Dew ("Do the Dew").

On the way walking out of the gas station, a man whom they didn't know held the door open for them.

"Thank you." The Senator said.

The man responded, saying, "Oh, you're welcome," in an oddly seductive voice.

About twenty minutes later, while on the interstate, the Senator and Frito decided it would be highly amusing to make faces at passing drivers. After a few minutes of no responses, they passed an old man.

To get his attention, the Senator used an approach that we'll call "The Pig". She held her nose up to look like a pig's. Somehow, this got the old man's attention. He smiled and waved at Frito. She, in turn, gave the "rock on" sign, which he returned. The stupid people laughed for many moons.

A few minutes later, they came upon a younger guy, on a motorcycle, that they had nicknamed Sully, because he resembled hard-rocker Sully Erna from the band Godsmack.

The Senator first gave him the rock on sign, to which he smiled. She then gave the "call me!" sign, to which he responded, swerving between lanes, with his free hand showing "five", then "zero", and, finally, "two". He never seemed to get any further, for fear of the traffic behind him. All this had gone on for a good two minutes, before he gave another smile and sped off.

After an hour of Frito listening to Linkin Park, and the hillbillies listening to country music that had odd commercials (to which Frito always responded "Yeah, me neither."), Frito was ready to get out of the car and walk 500 hundred miles.

Half an hour later, as Frito was zoned out listening to Linkin Park, she saw her mom smile as their car pulled over to the side of the road.

"What's going on?" Frito asked.

"We're being pulled over. Larry was speeding." Her mom replied, laughing.

Frito repeatedly stated how ashamed she was of Larry. After a while, however, the Senator and Frito could think of many amusing jokes, including one where the Senator told Larry to peel out, and reinact COPS, in which Frito and the Senator would roll out of the car and RUN.

Finally, the matter was cleared up, and Frito's mom and her boyfriend Larry were fined $130. The Senator is still convinced taht the whole thing was a speed trap.

Many moons later, they arrived at the campground. Then, they had to drive many miles back, so that the Senator could call her mom.

This trip consisted of many boating adventures. The next day, the cool people went out on a boat with Larry's family. They told Frito and the Senator to jump into the lake.

Frito refused, convinced that there were fresh-water sharks in it. Eventually, she was forced in. Then, Frito and the Senator learned to tube, which consists of one person on the tube, while the boat goes many miles per hour. Menawhile, the person is holding onto the tube for dear life. The Senator hurt her legs doing it, so she stopped. Frito, however, was hooked. As a result of this, she ripped the butt out of her bathing suit, and had to borrow her mother's for the rest of the trip. Also, while flying off of the tube, Frito actually accomplished a dive into the water. Patty, Larry's sister, commented taht she hadn't believed such a thing possible, until she'd seen Frito do it. THIS ONLY PROVES THAT FRITO IS THE GREATEST AND COOLEST PERSON EVER TO LIVE!!!

Many retarded moments were accomplished during the trip.

On the drive home, when the Senator didn't know if her headphones were working or not, she actually picked up her tape player and listend to it, instead of the headphones. Frito laughed for many moons. THIS ONLY PROVES TAHT THE SENATOR IS THE SMARTEST PERSON EVER TO LIVE!!!

And that this was the BEST TRIP EVER.

Oh yeah.. and don't forget the USED COWS FOR SALE!

A/N: I just realized that this was a waste of my time to type up and everyone will hate it. Please don't hate me, but I just had to post it...