Author's Note: ...I don't know. I dedicate this to one person: Me.

~Angel

Part One: Hell

Chapter One: Prologue

I've rewritten this a million times, and I finally think it's right. This introduction... a prelude into my darkest hours, my days of nightmares. I find it's easier to use written words. For you see... I'm cursed with a voice that few can hear. I was born this way, and I choose silence over trying to find those than can hear me. In silence, I can journey back into Hell. That's where I've been. That's where I was for two years. Hell. Do you imagine it as a world of darkness and flames, where people scream and feel whips on their backs from a merciless master with horns atop his head? Do you imagine Lucifer, the devil to some, as a man with a sharp pitchfork who skewers his victims and throws them to the flames? To his three-headed demon dog?

Far from the truth. Believe me.

Hell, as I know it, is a world without fire or warmth of any kind, dark as the deepest canyon. Well, I take that back. I did find warmth in my Hell. But it was the coldest form of warmth I could have wanted. Hell was a maze of gold bricks, a tunnel with no end. I can't describe how cold it was. Icy... it chilled me to the very core. My bones shivered. My mind was frozen. I found myself keeping a fire lit for years, just to stay alive for a moment. There are no words to describe that chill. The terror of not knowing tomorrow would come. But the blood... that stays in my memories. There was only one pool of stagnant water in the miles and miles of winding tunnels. The rest of the underground rivers and streams were blood. Blood. I was afraid, for the longest time, that I would eventually be forced to drink blood--what if the water we had dried up? But even that was only a minor fear... something that, if necessary, I would do. There was blood on the walls from those who were sent before me. Clawing at the walls; they had gone mad. I can see why.

I don't know when I finally lost that mortal fear. Mortal... I feel immortal now, having lived through that. A mortal part of me died there, in that darkness. It remains there. And this immortal part of me sometimes longs to throw myself back down there, to find the skeletal body of my lover. That frail, horrifying body that curled so trustingly into my arms the first time we saw each other. I had never been afraid of that body, of the soft, hungry voice in the shadows... "You're warm, I know you're warm, I can feel you from here... share that warmth with me... please..." ...had I been a fool to allow that skeletal shadow to come near me, to touch me? Had I been somehow doomed to fall in love, to actually physically and emotionally desire that wraith? We were both doomed, I suppose... in so many ways, we were doomed.

I should tell you who I am before I drag you, helplessly, into my past. My full name is Angelo Jeddan, but I've always been 'Angel'. Before I entered what I have referred to as Hell, I was what you might call beautiful. I earned my name from my appearance. I had lovely white-blond hair that I tied back. It met my elbows. I was proud of my hair, and I took care of it. My eyes were the ocean... deep blues, greens, and greys. I loved them, too. I loved the way I looked. It was an undue pride. I lost it soon after I was thrown into Hell. I lost everything in Hell.

I don't know what caused it.

I don't know why I deserved it.

...But I'll never forget.

---

"Go back, go back, go back..." the trees seemed to whisper, brushing together nervously. It was a warm summer day. Warm. Summer. Day. These words became foreign to me in the months to come. My wrists were bound by strong rope, and I wasn't nearly strong enough to break it. My... 'Master'... had somehow or other managed to find some flaw within me that deserved immediate attention, some flaw that was enough to cast me into the dark chamber his ancestors had created thousands of years ago. For centuries, the master of the house had cast his unwanted slaves into this dark world. For centuries. And now, it was my turn. He led me roughly, jerking me around. He cut the ropes and threw open a door into the earth.

"Get in there." he ordered. I looked. Stale air filled my nostrils as I looked in, and nothing but darkness met my eyes. I saw a staircase eventually, a stairway that vanished into impossible darkness. It seemed quite possible that the staircase ended right where it left my vision, and one would plummet endlessly into a dark world. Into Hell. I shook my head, stepping backward. The ropes were gone. I could run. I could run away. I could find someone... someone who heard my voice...

He grabbed my wrist violently, and threw me forward. I fell down the first three steps, then looked up. He was closing the door... locking it. But he paused. "If," he said, "If you can shout 'Mercy' loud enough for me to hear it, I shall personally come and find you." And with that, he closed the door. I heard the ancient lock click into place. I turned to face the dark tunnel before me. When my eyes had adjusted somewhat to the darkness, I took my first cautious steps down the staircase. I sighed hopelessly. If I could shout 'Mercy' loud enough to be heard... what a laugh. His ears weren't open to my voice. I'd be there for years.

I'd never get out!

...This was Hell, and this was only the beginning.

Author's Note: *shivers* Okay, this should be my last A/N for the rest of the story, unless there's something important to say, such as an explaination about a character. Really, I don't know what to expect from this. A few notices:

1. This is a story with some shounen-ai (boys in love with boys) in it. Don't like that? Don't read this. Flames on this are NOT accepted, because I warned you.
2. I don't plan to get graphic in my descriptions of things, but just in case, the fic's rated R. Just a precaution.
3. I don't expect anyone to really like this. Flames are welcome, but be gentle, and only flame on the chapter you hated.
4. This is a LONG story (with SHORT chapters). I'm only posting part one for now, and part two (and other parts) will either be as more chapters, or a completely different story.