AN: I wrote this as a homework assignment…

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The Algebra Function

By: Chi Yagami

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       “Oh no!” Jamie cried.  The homework section of his binder was empty!  His friend Carl replied by saying, “Well, maybe you left it at your house; go get it.  You’ve got plenty of time; it’s only 8:10.”

       Jamie thanked his friend.  The bell rang at 8:40, and his house was only ten minutes away.  He had plenty of time to make it there and back if he went by bike.  So Jamie loaded up his backpack and left the library.

       Jamie crept up the hall towards the front double-doors.  If he wanted to make it out of the school, he’d have to pass by the assistant principal’s window.  Mrs. Keith wouldn’t be easy to get by.  It would also probably take him a couple of minutes to unlock his bike chain.  Jamie paused.  Perhaps it would just be better to take a zero…

       Jamie was down on his knees crawling, halfway under Mrs. Keith’s window, when he heard it slide open.  He looked up to see the bottom of her face.  Jamie almost screamed.  Even though he couldn’t really see her face, just the thought of it made him sick.  Her face was old, ugly, wrinkly, and a sort of sick-yellowish color.  She had long, dangly earrings and a big green wart on her crooked nose.  Jamie thought she looked like something off the movie Scream.

       Jamie held his breath.  Apparently, she didn’t know he was there, but Jamie knew that she had the feeling that somebody was doing something wrong.  She sniffed the air, and Jamie saw her long nostrils flare.

       “I smell…  Somebody doing something wrong…  A boy…  About fourteen…  Ninth grade…  With an evil plan in mind… Mr. Wick!”

       Mrs. Keith had spotted Norman Wick, a mousy-haired boy who seemed to have “insisted on being born” even though nobody wanted him.  Norman shrank back as the wicked witch of the school approached him.  Jamie used this precious time while Mrs. Keith wasn’t looking to escape.  He slipped through the double-doors and quietly shut them.  He ran to his bike and unchained it.  Then he hopped on and started to ride home.  It was 8:15.

       Jamie peddled as hard as he could; he didn’t have time to dawdle.  As he was crossing the street, he heard something that sounded like an animal from up in the sky.  When he looked up, he practically fell right off his bike.  For blocking the sun was an enormous, four-legged butterfly.  Then Jamie realized it was a flying horse.  It descended from the sky and landed not too far away from him, in his own neighborhood.  Jamie felt his heart skip several beats.  Perhaps he would get to see it.  Jamie peddled so hard he practically broke the pedals.

       As he locked his bike in the garage, Jamie checked his watch.  It was 8:25.  He started for the door, but before he got there, Jamie heard a soft neigh.  Scared to the bone, he ran inside, only to find something even more fearful.

       It looked as if burglars had come searching for something.  The whole house was torn apart: furniture thrown everywhere, cupboards emptied, and lamps broken.  Jamie stared in disbelief.  A tornado perhaps?  Nah…

       Then Jamie heard a voice coming from his own bedroom.  Without thinking, Jamie ran up and jumped into his doorway, expecting to see a burglar.  Instead, he saw a white pair of underwear flying at him.

       SMACK!

       Jamie fell flat on his back, the underwear on his face.  As he lay there bewildered, he heard a girl’s voice speaking frantically, “Oh where is it?”  When Jamie had recovered, he found that his room was worse than the rest of his house.  The two mattresses had even been flung apart.  And even weirder was the fact that a girl was searching through his drawers.

       “Hey!  Get out of there,” Jamie shouted at her.  The girl turned around, and there was a panicked expression on her face.  She hadn’t expected this.  But at least he was here now…

       “Are you Jamie Cooper?” the girl asked, only she pronounced it as Shemae Coupare.  Jamie assumed she was trying to pronounce his name.

       “Yah…  Why are you here?!  Get out, or I’ll call the police!”

       “Please,” the girl pleaded, “I am only looking for your alzehba homeword.”

       Jamie stared at her.  What had she said she was looking for?  His alzehba homeword?

       “Please!  You know, zeh funccións!” she tried again.  Jamie gasped.

       “Do you mean my algebra homework?”

       “Iz vhat I say!”  Her voice sounded as if it had a light French accent.  They looked at each other for a while.

       “Why do you want it?” Jamie asked suspiciously.

       “For my father,” she said, taking out of her pocket a small crystal.  Jamie could just make out the image of a little man inside of it.

       “You see,” she began, “it all started vhen my father met zis lady.  My father is zeh king of Cytogeneses, a vorld parallel zu yours.  He––”

       “You’re from a different world?” Jamie interrupted.

       “Yes.  Now, my father had just met zis voman vhen all of zeh sudden he vas trapped in zis crystal.  I vent at once to zeh Holy Chamber zu remove zeh curse.”  She pronounced her t’s as z’s and her w’s as v’s.

       “Zeh priest zhere said zhat I vould have zu zravel zu another vorld zu get zeh answers.  He said zu seek out Shemae Coupare because he vould have some alzehba funccións for me.  Zeh funccións vould be able zu set my father free.  So I came here hoping zu find you and your funccións, but zhey don’t appear zu be here.”

       “Well,” Jamie said, heavily confused, “if they’re not here, where exactly are they?”

       “I zhink zhat zhey might be at zeh volcano,” the girl said quietly.

       “What?!”

       “Come, ve vill fly on my flying horse, Alpha.”

       The neigh that he had heard when he’d first gotten home had been the girl’s horse.  Now Jamie was riding it, his arm’s fastened tightly around the strange girl’s waist.  He watched as they flew higher and higher.  When he checked his watch, he saw that it was 8:27.  He bit his lip; he wasn’t sure about risking riding a flying horse (which wasn’t supposed to exist) with a strange girl who trashed his house and said that she came from a different world for a scrap of paper with some funccións on it.

       “Uh, I don’t really have the time to fly all the way to a dead volcano,” Jamie said, hoping she’d agree.  But she just laughed.

       “Remember, I zold you zhat I came from a different vorld.  How do you zhink zhat I got here?  By bus?  No, I was transported between vorlds by using Alpha’s psychic powers.”

       “One problem: I don’t have the time for this!” Jamie said.

       “Don’t vorry; zeh volcano iz not far from here.  Do you see vere zhat building shaped like a zree iz?  Zhat iz vere zeh volcano iz in my vorld.”

       Then, without warning, the horse, the girl, and Jamie vanished from the sky.  Jamie’s head was rolling.  His eyes were closed tightly and he didn’t know where they were.  Then, just like that, Jamie could open his eyes.  They appeared to be flying over some sort of jungle.  Ahead of them, Jamie saw the volcano, smoke rising out of it.

       “Wait,” Jamie said fearfully, “you didn’t tell me this was an active volcano!  We’re all going to die: the horse, you, your crystal father, and me!  I’m dreaming!  It’s just a dream…  Wake up!  Somebody pinch me…  OUCH!  I didn’t mean literally!”

       “You asked for it,” the girl said, smiling.  “And yes, zis iz an active volcano.”

       They landed at the foot of the volcano and demounted the horse.  When Jamie checked his watch, he saw that it was 8:29.  Before Jamie could open his mouth to protest, the girl grabbed his arm and pulled him up the mountain.  He wondered how far away from the school he was.  The girl had said that the volcano was in the exact same spot as the tree building, so he guessed that they weren’t more than five miles away from the spot in this world where his school stood in his.

       When they reached the top, the girl pointed to a rope bridge going across the volcano.  Jamie looked down and gulped.  About thirty feet below the bridge was active magma.  Jamie felt as if he was going to hurl.  Then he saw that in the middle of the bridge lay his homework.  What was it doing there?

       “Let’s go,” he heard the girl say.  She stepped out onto the bridge and began to walk across.

       “Either she’s very brave,” Jamie concluded, “or she’s very stupid.”  But he followed her anyways.  However, he didn’t have her courage, and so he kept looking down.  Each time he looked, he became more frightened.  The heat from the magma was burning his face, and he knew this was no dream.  The girl’s hand was inches away from the homework when Jamie heard a loud screech.  He looked up and saw a huge black hawk making strait for the girl.

       “Look out!” Jamie called to her but it was too late.  The hawk swooped down and opened its sharp claws.  The girl looked up at the sound of Jamie’s cry, but unfortunately for her, the hawk was right there.  Jamie heard her scream as the hawk dug its claws into her cheek.  Blood flew everywhere as she stumbled to balance herself.  Jamie looked at the hawk, which was doubling back around now, and saw that squeezed in-between the bloody talons was his homework.

       “Watch out!” Jamie shouted.  The hawk flew at her and knocked her off the bridge.  Jamie heard her scream again and looked over the side of the bridge.  He sighed with relief, but not much.  She had caught onto a piece of rope that was dangling off the side of the bridge with one hand.  Jamie’s head raced.

       “Alpha!” he shouted as loud as he could.  “Alpha, come quickly; she’s in trouble.”  To his surprise, the horse flew up to Jamie.  He jumped on its back and flew down to where the girl was.

       “I’ve got you,” Jamie said as he pulled the girl onto the horse.  At once a red pattern began to appear on the horse and Jamie feared it was dieing.  Then he realized it was only blood from her cheek.

       “After that hawk,” Jamie commanded the horse.  Suddenly, the sky opened up to a different sky, Jamie’s sky.  The hawk flew in, and following him was the horse, the unconscious girl, and Jamie.

Jamie knew that they were back in his world because the tree building was below him.  Jamie glanced at his watch and saw that it was 8:33.  The hawk was flying back towards his school.  It swooped down into a forest a little ways ahead of them and disappeared.  Jamie followed it.

       When he landed, he jumped off the horse and instantly checked his watch; it was 8:36, and only four minutes to the bell.  Then he laid the unconscious girl up against a tree and raced off to find the hawk.

       Within minutes he’d spotted it.  The homework was on the ground, and the hawk was circling above.  Jamie snatched up the homework and ran.  The hawk was gaining on him with every second, and Jamie knew he didn’t have much time.  He picked up a stone, turned around, and flung it at the bird.  It died instantly.  However, because Jamie hadn’t bee looking where he’d been going, when he turned around, he smashed into a tree.  Jamie’s world fell into a silent darkness.

       “Vill he be alright, father?”

       “I’m not sure…”

       Jamie could hear voices, but he couldn’t tell what was going on.  He struggled to open his eyes, but found he didn’t have the strength.  He twitched his fingers.

       “Look, father!  He’s moving!”

       “Yes, indeed…  I see…”

       Jamie opened his eyes.  He shielded the light from his eyes with his arm until he got used to it.  He found that two people were staring down at him: an old man with a bald spot, and…

       “You!  You’re that girl with my homework…” he managed to say.  His voice was weak.

       “Yes.  I never fully introduced myself.  I am Nikkita, and zis iz my father, King Patrick.  Father, meet Shemae Coupare,” the girl said.  Jamie stared. 

       “Are you the crystal guy?”  The old man laughed so jolly that it made Jamie think of Santa Claus.

       “Yes, my boy,” King Patrick replied with the same accent as his daughter.  “I am zeh man in zeh crystal.  Zhank you so much for letting us use your alzehba homeword.”  He gave Jamie the homework.

       “What happened?”

       “Vell,” Nikkita said, “vhen I voke up, I saw you zhrow a stone at zeh hawk.  Zhen you ran into a zree.  I knew zhat my father vould know vhat zu do so I used your alzehba homeword zu free him.  Ve brought you home and hoped for zeh best.”

       “Ve really have zu go,” the king said to Jamie.  “Zeh kingdom iz probably vorried about us.  Bye-bye.”

       “Wait, what about that woman?  What if she returns?”

       “Zhat vas zeh hawk,” Nikkita replied.  They embraced, and Jamie shook hands with the king.  Jamie sighed and looked at his watch.  It was 8:42.

       “Man, I’m already two minutes late, and it takes me ten minutes to get to school!”

       “Ve could give you a ride.  Ve could get you zhere in zhree minutes.”

       Jamie waved goodbye to the flying horse and went inside his school.  He was sad to see them go; surely no one was going to believe his story.  He then focused his mind to the present task: getting to class.  Luckily, Mrs. Keith wasn’t in her office.  It was 8:45.

       Jamie got to his algebra classroom.  He was five minutes late.  He glanced at the door with a sign that read SUB TODAY.  Jamie knew that he was in big trouble.  He took a deep breath, opened the door, and went inside.

       “Sit down, Mr. Coupare.”  Jamie knew that voice.  He whirled around to see King Patrick standing behind him.

       “Yes, zhat’s right,” said King Patrick, “I am your substitute, Mr. Patrick.  Sit down, please, and don’t gape at me open-mouthed.  Sit in your assigned seat, next zu Miss Cytogeneses.”

       Jamie looked at the seat he was pointing to.  Sitting in the desk next to it was…  Nikkita!  Jamie sat down confused and happy.  He knew that he wouldn’t be counted late; the sub just had to believe his excuse!