[Love]

PG-13

Adult Themes

Supernatural Themes

I wander down George Street with my head full of Für Elise. The harpsichord’s sound, delicate at times, rolls through my mind, dancing around my train of thought with the opening snatches of hesitant quavers as I cross at an intersection. People rush by me. I sigh. At the very end of the road, is where I am meant to be. Technically, the walk should only take twenty minutes. I have taken thirty so far, and I am only half way. Beethoven still tinkering in my mind, I stop to listen to a busker.

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He plays a steel drum, and the reggae tune clashes with my mental classical. His face is almost blank, seemingly devoid of any great emotion. But as I look closer, inspect his dark brown features thoroughly; I can see the joy playing this music brings him hiding away in the corner of his black eyes. I smile before continuing on my walk and wish I had some money to place in the open case on the ground in front of him.

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George Street has many old buildings lining its edges. There’s an old casino, an old printing house and the old Parliament house is right at the other end, near where I am going. As I meander past these historical places, I wonder what sorts of people used to work in them, used to visit them regularly. And did they look upon the stone exterior with a sense of compassion for the place, or did they barely see the exquisitely crafted gargoyles which decorate the roof edges on some.

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“They wouldn’t have cared,” William informed me, cutting through the end stages of Fur Elise which were playing through my mind. I turn to see him, from side to side. He is not there.

“Will?” I ask, cautiously.

“Yes my dear,” he replies. I look around myself again. I know I am hearing correctly. It’s his voice, as only he can sound, and he is quite near. But I cannot see him.

“Are you…You’re here now aren’t you?” I ask quietly.

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“Of course I am. You’re alone-so I’m here with you. Now,” He says the last word in such a manner that I can’t distinguish whether he’s meaning to lead on to another thing, or if it was meant to finish his part of the speaking. Silence camps between us for a time.

“So,” I say hesitantly “I’m on my way to university right now…”

“Ah-this is inconvenient right now is it?”

“Of course not,” I reply, knowing that it is. Very inconvenient indeed. But I don’t want to go to uni. “I’ve time.”

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“Brilliant,” I hear him whisper into my ear. That I cannot see him scares me a little, especially as he is talking to me in the middle of a crowded street. It doesn’t really surprise me however. Such things have been going on for weeks now. I have become accustomed to the oddity. Just not in public.

“Shall we step over to somewhere more private?” he asks me, as if reading my thoughts.

I nod and walk over to the street veranda of an accountancy business, and go down the alley way beside. I lean on the dirty brick wall with my back. I am sure my black velvet jacket is getting completely and irreparably dirty, but I’m not too sure I care. He’s here. He’s here and everything will be wonderful, just for a moment or two.

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There are a stack of packing crates near where I stand. Most of them are falling apart, decaying from a constant water source running underneath the stack and then travelling up the fibres one crate at a time. I feel worn. But my heart is beating faster than usual and I know when I close my eyes and feel him run his hand down my neck that I am just another packing crate in a stack. I’ve been worn away at by the decay of others, and I’ve been tainted. I feel his breath, warm and dangerous, as he exhales near my ear. I turn my neck more towards the warmth, wanting more of my skin to be bathed in it.

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I feel his fingertips running over my cheekbones, and down to trail along the bone of my jaw. I inhale, startled, as he begins to plant feather light kisses down my neck. They travel downwards to where my buttoned top prevents any further transgression.

“Juliet?” He says after a moment of his lips being separate to my skin.  

“Just do whatever you’re going to do,” I reply and almost instantly his lips are kissing mine hungrily.

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It’s always the same. He always asks first. It’s endearing. I moan into his mouth as I grant access to my mouth for his tongue. His arms are around my waist, running down my hips, the plain velvet skirt I wear feels to be non-existent from the heat radiating from his hands. I can’t breathe. I break away for a moment and breathe, eyes still closed. They have to be closed. When they’re open you start to think. Wonder, even. There’s another reality with your eyes closed.

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Apparently I’ve had enough oxygen, and Will takes possession of my mouth again. I kiss him back passionately. He is my air, my true air. I would not have risked so much if I wasn’t going to gain a great deal. I may be a bad person but I’m certainly not stupid. Will’s fingers entwine in the hair at the nape of my neck as he ravages my lips with his own.

“Will,” I whisper to him, sighing.

“Dear Juliet,” He replies between planting kisses on my jaw. He nibbles at my earlobe. I moan. This isn’t what I was aiming for, I realise through a haze. I break away from him.

“What’s wrong Jules?” He asks, and I can hear the hurt in his voice so strong and real.

“I should-I’d really prefer it if you were visible again Will,” I manage, my chest heaving as my lungs try to catch up on lost air.

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“I would be, if you hadn’t have lost the grimoire,” He mutters calmly “if you’d have bargained properly,”—

“I know I know it’s my fault,” I break into the stream of blame, “if I’d had the foresight to see that I’d have needed a body for both of you, you’d be visible. Not trapped as a fading ghost.” My eyes are still firmly shut. I wish that I could open them and see the man I’d seen after my deal with the demon had been sealed. He had my brother’s body now. And my own dear William Shakespeare had nothing but a voice to mark his existence.

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“You didn’t know, and truly I don’t mind. I’m here with you now,” Will says, and I can feel him wrapping his arms around me warmly despite his earlier cold words.

“Ha,” I reply, hating myself deeply “I made Lucifer drag you out of the afterlife so you could be here with me, and I didn’t even think to get you a body! If I weren’t so stupid, so absolutely insanely stupid, you’d have a proper existence. If I was strong enough I might have been able to trick the demon out of my brother’s body. You could have had it. I’d rather that you had it,” I break off, tears filling my eyes as remorse fills the rest of me.

“You wouldn’t have felt the same way if I had your brother’s body,” Will tells me.

“I would,” I reply resolutely, not wanting to be badgered out of my convictions. I hear him sigh.

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“You wouldn’t dear Juliet, you’re not an incestual sort of woman,” He says against my ear. In that moment I wish I could have been. He runs an invisible finger along the scar which runs along the inside of my arm. “You sacrificed a lot Jules. Your blood,…your brother, your soul.”

“That is nothing,” I sniff “I’d do it all over again if I had to.”

“That may all be well and good, but you did only ever have one brother,” Will says and I can hear the smile in his voice. I half laugh despite myself, and the morose atmosphere is shattered.

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“Will?” I say, wishing I could open my eyes and look into his steadily as I speak.

“Yes Juliet,” He says, ever calling me by my pet name.

“I’m alone,” I reply in a whisper and his voice as it is heard by my ears is soft and quiet.

“I know.” He says and kisses my cheek before leaving. I can no longer feel his presence. I open my eyes. Nothing but me and the dirty, decaying crates.

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The tall buildings are around me and as I look up to the heavens I feel as though they are crowding me in and pushing me down into the earth. I rejoin the busy street, with the people I can hear and see. Slowly, I walk towards the university pointlessly. By this stage, my lecture will be over before I get to the door. I look at the other pedestrians as I weave through them, wondering what they feel inside. I am empty. There is nothing inside of me, save Für Elise as it plays over and over again in my head, and the stark longing to be loved. 

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18/06/04