To Bugysuch: Ouch. That really smarted. I agree with you though. Another thing, it’s awfully rude to tell people their stories have no point. And thank you for your review because it inspired me to write another chapter. Oh and I threw in some Judas/Eliane as a thanks.

To Lunatic High: It’s supposed to be like that. The edge of the world is Eliane’s escape from reality. When we return to reality, the edge of the world is really just the top of a building. Thank you for your review. ^_^

written 7.20.04

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Eliane trembled as everyone started yelling at her at the same time. She really wanted to go back to the edge of the world now. She didn’t want to be here, and she most certainly didn’t want to face all these adults. Although she was technically considered adult because she was eighteen, she didn’t feel like one, and so she didn’t want to be one.

Judas scowled as he watched Eliane’s trembling form and said really loudly,” Okay everyone, just shut the fuck up!” This promptly shut everyone up although they were now glaring at him. He glared back.

He said with a tone that left no room for argument,” Eliane is really tired right okay? I’m going to take her to room so she can rest. You can all ask her questions later.” After looking at her parents and teachers, he left with Eliane.

Eliane was quite relieved when the voices stopped as soon as Judas yelled. She was also quite relieved that she didn’t have to face them quite yet. She didn’t really want to think about anything right now. Not her grades. Not the arguments. Not the fact that she didn’t graduate. Not her sporadic bouts of depression.

Eliane gaped as Judas opened the door to her room. It wasn’t the way she left it. It was clean and orderly, something that she wished her life was. She looked questioningly at Judas who smiled wryly. He said,” I thought it might improve your mood so I tidied up your room for you.”

Eliane’s eyes began to water, as she realized how lucky she was to have a best friend like him. She gave him a hug, and he just stood there kind of awkwardly until her moment passed. She let go, smiled, and said,” Thank you Judas.”

Embarrassed, Judas said,” Eh, it’s only to make up for all the times I bullied you as a kid.” Eliane smiled, remembering fond childhood memories. A childhood that was carefree. She really didn’t want to grow up. Growing up meant responsibilities. Growing up meant being chastised for being immature. Growing up meant leaving her shell of safety.

Judas interrupted her thoughts when he dragged over to one of her walls and said,” Look. We figured that since we couldn’t be there for you all the time, we did this.” Eliane looked at it and wondered why she hadn’t been able to notice it before. The wall had group pictures scattered all over it with captions under them written by her friends. There were magazine cut outs, pictures that her friends had drawn, and letters they had written. At the top of the wall were big words cut out colorfully that read: We Love Eliane! She touched the pictures reverently and read the comments which made her heart swell. “It’s for when you feel depressed or lonely and we can’t be there for you.”

Eliane was about to say something when someone knocked on the door. Judas grinned. He said,” I called Gregory, Bill, Rosemary, and Annie over. Everybody else is out of town, sadly enough.” To the door he called,” Come in you guys!”

The door creaked open and her friends walked in, all smiling apprehensively. Gregory asked tentatively,” Hey, Eliane, do you like the wall?”

Eliane said softly,” I love it.” Everyone smiled happily.

Rosemary said,” It was Greg’s idea. You know he’s the artsy type.” Greg blushed at a little at the praise.

Eliane, feeling overwhelmed, started crying all of a sudden. She collapsed on the floor and kept crying as everyone stared at her, wide eyed. Annie was the first to react and she pulled Eliane to her feet, slapping her face really hard.

She asked the questions that were burning in everyone’s minds,” Do you have any idea how much you worried us? Why would you do something stupid like that? Why Eliane? Why? Answer me!” Eliane just kept crying and shaking her head. She didn’t want to explain. Why couldn’t Annie leave it alone?

Judas pulled Eliane away from Annie and said sharply,” Why’d you slap her for!? She’s tired okay? We’ll talk later.” The others stood awkwardly and silently as their two friends argued. Sometimes it was best to stay to quiet.

Annie’s eyes blazed and she shouted,” No it’s not okay! We can’t keep avoiding this discussion forever Julian. It’s always the same! She goes into a depressive mood, we cheer her up, and we put off the discussion for later. But it’s different this time! She tried to kill herself! First she tried to OD on sleeping pills, and then she pulled that stunt on the building! She’s on the path to self destruction Judas! I’m not going to stand by and allow one of my friends to continue to act so stupidly. We’re having this discussion now!”

Rosemary timidly said,” I agree with Annie. I don’t want Eliane to hurt herself anymore. Next time we might not be able to stop her. Then there’d be no Eliane to argue about.”

Judas glared and said,” Bill, Greg, what about you two?” Bill and Greg looked uncomfortable being put on the spot.

Greg sighed and said,” Eliane can rest if she wants to, but we’re not leaving until Eliane talks. She needs this Judas. Even if she doesn’t want it, she needs it.” Judas glared at him, and then looked at Bill. Bill looked away.

Judas said bitterly,” Fine, majority rules. You guys happy now?” He stroked Eliane’s hair gently as she clutched onto his shirt.

He said gently to Eliane,” Eliane, please, just talk to us.”

Eliane mumbled into his shirt,” I don’t want to.” By then, everyone else had situated themselves comfortably around Eliane’s room, waiting patiently for Eliane to talk.

Judas said in a coaxing tone,” Come on Eliane. You’re going to have to talk to us sooner or later. Would you rather I leave you here with them by yourself?” Eliane shook her head frantically and Annie scowled. Bill snickered, which earned him a look of reproach from Rosemary and Gregory.

Eliane said,” Fine. What do you want me to say?”

Annie said,” First, first start with why you tried to off yourself.” Judas tightened his hold on Eliane, making her feel safe.

Eliane said,” Because I kept thinking about how my life was riddled with failures lately. And I didn’t even graduate with you guys. That kind of tipped me over to the edge.”

Rosemary said gently,” You would have graduated if you had done your work. The teachers gave you many warnings and chances. We even warned you.”

Eliane sighed and said,” I didn’t feel motivated to do anything. I don’t know why, but I couldn’t stand to do the work. My life seemed so dull and monotonous. I can’t really explain why, but I felt apathetic. It used to only happen once in awhile, but then the periods of time grew longer until I simply didn’t care about school anymore. I would just hide in my room and read or go out with you guys.” Judas continued to stroke her hair.

Annie said,” So now what are you going to do Eliane?” Eliane knew the answer to the question but she didn’t know if she could do it. She would do independent study over the summer, and graduate. But then, what happened after that?

Eliane said in a dead tone,” Do independent study and get my diploma.” Everyone was surprised at her tone.

Rosemary said in a worried tone,” Don’t you want to graduate Eliane?”

Eliane said,” Yes! At … at least I think do. I don’t know anymore. I was supposed to get good grades, graduate, and go off to an expensive university to further my education … but I don’t know anymore! It just seems so pointless. I don’t want to deal with it!”

Annie said in a clipping tone,” Eliane, stop trying to run from reality! Judas has babied you enough, and I’m not going to do it. I want what’s best for you, and if it means you growing up a little, so be it. We’re not kids anymore. No matter how much we wish could go back to the days where mommy and daddy took care of everything for us, we can’t. We have to learn to take care of ourselves. You need to grow up Eliane. You need to take responsibility.” Eliane whimpered and burrowed into Judas’ chest. She didn’t want to hear those words. They were true, but she didn’t want to!

Eliane said quietly,” I’m scared Annie. I don’t want to grow up. I’m really terrified.”

Annie’s eyes softened and she said,” We all are. It’s weird. It’s scary. It’s our transitional stage, but we have to go through it if we want to move on in life.” Eliane barely nodded.

Eliane said,” I know, but … can you guys stay with me and help me out? I’m scared to do this by myself.”

Judas said,” No one said you ever had to Eliane.”

Rosemary smiled and said,” Of course. We’re friends.”

Gregory said,” Yeah. We’ll walk you through it.”

Annie said,” Though not too much. I don’t agree with how much Judas is babying you. And we all know it’s because he likes you. He lets it cloud his judgment.” Judas glared at Annie, who smirked to his annoyance, while Eliane blushed, but didn’t let go of Judas.

Bill grinned and said,” Don’t worry about it too much Eliane. After subjecting you to Annie the interrogator, everything else will seem like a piece of a cake!” This earned him a smack on the head from the aforementioned interrogator. .

“What,” he said loudly,” Someone’s got to lift the mood!” Gregory mumbled something about him doing a poor job and everyone laughed while Bill sulked.

Eliane sighed contentedly in Judas’ arms. First she’d get graduating out of the way. Then she’d sort out her emotions. Once she was stable, she would talk to Judas. She wanted to talk to him when she was better. But for now she just sat in the room with her now laughing friends, hoping to forget about her problems for a little while longer. She added one last mental note,” Get rid of running away tactics. Must face problems head on or risk getting slapped by Annie again.”

It was going to be a long summer.

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End Story