We'll Never Be

It's a nice sunny warm day in May and i'm sitting here thinking and reading of the past chapters I've written so far in this...story, shall I say.

Funny how I used to like him so much. I still do, but this love won't last. I've learnt so much about him, and I've seen his girlfriend once or twice. He has such a different life than mine. I was young and naive to think that he would like me back. He opened up too me for a while, because of a school trip...

I miss him. I do miss him to tell you the truth, but it isn't the I really miss you kinda, its the I miss you where you feel not sad, but you just miss someone feeling. If you get what I mean.

So many things have happened since I last updated. So many things. I don't even know where to begin. Just this past week was the craziest week ever. All my emotions were running high. It's funny how fast a year has past since I've first admitted I ever liked him.

Well..just to give you a little glimpse into what has happened and what not with me and him. We barely talk anymore, we barely even see each other, only at lunch. I went on a school trip where he was our teacher who went with us to Costa Rica. That was an interesting experience. That's what I want to talk about. My teacher in a foreign country with me.

I got to know alot about him. The only thing that was so great about the trip was that he was totally relaxed and didn't act like the person I saw him to be everyday and he also learnt some things about me. And the group I went with was such a small group with 9 students, it was great. We had such a great time.

I don't even know why I went, partly was because of him, and I'm glad I went, because I realized how different he was.

He opened up to every one of us on the trip, and he was a totally different person. This new person I was not used to was so...so real to me. When I finally realized that he wasn't the one for me, I never wanted to let go. I'm still letting go today. I know that he and I will never be, yet I still like to look at him and smile at him. Maybe even dream about him liking me, but a part of me knows that we will never be.

Many of you have said that you have liked your teachers also. I'm so glad that I'm not alone, because I went thru the same thing you guys are going thru or have gone thru. You will make it thru, as my counsellor has said, and it won't be easy, but it can be done. It's nice to know that others feel the same way.

He changed my life in so many ways, good and bad, no matter what the reason was, he is still one of my favourite teachers at school and I will never forget the memories I shared with him in Costa Rica and the memories I have of him. He will be a part of me forever.

Here are some lyrics (i love song lyrics)

one more kiss could be the best thing one more lie could be the worst and all these thoughts are never resting and you're not something i deserve

in my head there's only you now this world falls on me in this world, there's real and make believe this seems real to me

you love me, but you dont know who i am i'm torn between this life i lead and where i stand you love me, but you don't know who i am so let me go let me go

i dream we head to what i hope for and i turn my back on loving you how could this love be a good thing when i know what i'm going through

in my head there's only you now this world falls on me in this world, there's real and make believe this seems real to me

you love me, but you dont know who i am i'm torn between this life i lead and where i stand you love me, but you dont know who i am so let me go, just let me go

no matter how hard i try i cant escape these things inside i know, i know but all the pieces fall apart you will be the only one who knows who knows

you love me, but you dont know who i am i'm torn between this life i lead and where i stand, you love me, but you don't know who i am so let me go just let me go

you love me, but you dont you love me, but you dont you love me, but you dont know who i am

you love me, but you dont you love me, but you dont you love me, but you dont know me...

Let Me Go by 3 Doors Down

It's what I've done. I've let go halfway and I'm almost there. He will always be in my heart. Thank you Brian for teaching me everything I need to know about life..thanks! )

a/N- You could say that's the conclusion to this. I wish everyone luck on your journey to finding love and peace whereever it might be. Live, laugh, smile for everyone, change someone's life. It could change yours too!

thanks so much to everyone who have reviewed in the past, I really appreciate your comments.