I just sort of wrote this down as my thoughts rambled along, so it's not the most elegantly written work ever. It jumps around a lot for sure.

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Coach Cordova kept telling me I should write an essay about the "life experiences as the first Strasburg High School female wrestler." I guess he was joking, but I apparently missed it and said I'd do it rofl. So...here it is, for you Coach. ;)

I guess my interest in the sport started when my little brother, Jon, took it up his 4th grade year. I always watched-and sometimes participated-when he and dad were going over moves at home. That was 8th grade. At the beginning of 9th grade I was really into guy's sports--and still am. I wanted to go out for football and wrestling. Dad was extremely against football-for the obvious reason that I'd be pummeled-and also against wrestling. I think he was assuming I'd find it too hard and quit...but...

I could live without football, but every time someone mentioned wrestling, I got-and, really, still get-this feeling in my gut-like a rush of adrenaline- and the realization that if I didn't try it, I knew I'd regret it for the rest of my life.

"...because in life you sink or swim." Blow Away--Staind

We call it the "Rear-View Mirror Effect". When you look back at your life, will you regret what you did or didn't do?

I think he finally accepted that his daughter was going to wrestle when my aunt sent an article about Patricia Miranda. A big theme in there was how her dad had completely disagreed with her wrestling, tried to stop her--and now she's nationally ranked, headed to Athens. Later that night Mom made a comment about how I'm not a morning person, and dad replied, "If you think she's tired now, wait until she starts wrestling." It was great.

I think the hardest part was actually waiting for wrestling season to come. Another girl, Joy, was going out for the team too, so I was a little more secure, but not much. Mikey was probably the first one at school that new I was going to wrestle, and the first thing he said was "Heck yeah!" and gave me a high-five. Brittnie's first reaction was laughter and Miranda just looked at me funny. I was asked in the halls occasionally if I was actually wrestling. Andy said if I joined we'd be the laughing stock of wrestling. Mikey replied that we already were, and the subject was dropped from there. The funny thing is, Andy's ended up as one of my better friends from the team.

I still get a few joking comments about how I was going out to wrestle with a sweaty guy in spandex. Mostly from the perverted-minded persons of the school. As much as they like to wear out that childish line, that's not what it's about. It's about going out there and doing your best. It's about going out there, and pulling the moves the best of your ability, straining yourself to the max, just wrestling as hard as you can to win.

Now, admittedly, 99% of my matches were boring because I was dominated. ...And so it probably sounds a bit stupid for me to say this whole thing, because many would argue that I didn't try. It's hard. When the boys royally kick your ass for the lone reason that you're a girl. It's the sort of thing that makes you want to try harder.

It occurred to me several times that whether or not I wanted it to, every time I stepped out on that mat, I represented my gender. And I tried to make a good impression.

That week leading up to the start of wrestling season, I was extremely nervous. I was going through all of the worst-case scenarios and hoping they wouldn't happen. Alas, all that did was that first day tripping on the mat and making an ass out of myself ;). Hah. I have to admit it was funny, and all the guys plus the coaches were thinking "Oh my God...look who's come out for the team."

At the time I was at the 119 pound weight class and so was wrestling William in practice after Joy dropped out. I still have no chance lol. He's got a photographic memory...and...well...let's just say I learn by repetition. But I learned enough those first few weeks to feel I could go out on the mat for my first time in Akron and not be too terribly embarrassed. I was still slightly apprehensive about wearing my singlet. I didn't and even now really don't have an exquisite body lmao.

My first match I was pinned in 42 seconds. We went and checked stats and the boy I was to wrestle next was pinned in 30, so Dad was confident I'd do well. Afterword, sitting on the bleachers, waiting for my second match, this Akron kid came over and told me he wanted me to beat his best friend. He wanted to be able to make fun of him for being beaten by a girl. And the reasoning behind that was because his friend was ''big headed" like that and thought he was all good, which I found pretty funny. I mean, come on; the first tournament you've ever wrestled you're asked to beat a kid by his best friend.

I tried not to disappoint. I lasted into the second period--considering I didn't last half of the first period my first match, it was a big success. Looking back, I'd have to say that that was one of the best feelings. I was dead tired, insecure about standing in the middle of the mat with spandex on, but happy as hell that I came out to wrestle.

A good part of the Indian wrestling team was watching that match I think. Coach Cordova said they were cheering. I didn't notice; I guess you could say I'm zoned when I'm out there. I don't think. I mean...I do, but not think.... I don't say to myself "Okay, this kid is going for a half, I need to do this...." I just do it. If that makes any sense. And that's probably why I'm so slow at picking stuff up. Because if I don't know the move thoroughly enough to just...react...the think-do process doesn't kick in fast enough to do much good.

And one of the first things Coach Cordova said to me was that I was a type-A personality. I guess it's true. Especially since my track coach said the same thing o.O. And I do worry about stuff--what needs to be done, what will happen, etc--and I'm a little bit of a pessimist.

*shrug* It's just something that really stuck. Because Cordova just sees that about you right away. I'm really glad he's coaching me...and I really hope I can make all his work pay off.

A few tournaments in, I dropped to 112s. That was due to the belief that I would probably do better at a lower weight and the fact that I only weighed around 116 eating anything I wanted. The only thing I remember consuming the two days I had to drop weight was a really small salad for lunch, a few spoonfuls of dinner, and minimal water. It was awesome.

Keeping the weight off wasn't bad and, admittedly, made me feel better about myself in general. ...Although my parents say I was short-tempered and generally grouchy at home. I'd probably have to agree in the long run. I eat more that you would expect for someone of my weight...which is a good thing I guess. ...But when I had to start cutting back, I was a little irritated, just for the fact that I was hungry. lol.

Me wrestling was a generally accepted fact at school, and I really had no problems with it, which was great. The only one that I know about was one in which I wasn't directly related. Nelson, one of my teammates, is in my PE class, and he and another kid were arguing for a while. We freshmen generally didn't pay much attention to the 'upperclassmen', although they're both only a year above us. Anyhow, we were all playing hockey, and kept overhearing random remarks, and then Charlie comes up and says, "So you have three balls?" I just looked at him, and then Chris pulled him away saying something to the effect that I had more balls joining than he did. We sort of figured out from that sentence alone what the whole thing was about. I never figured that Chris would be one to stick up for me, and I really appreciated it. ...It sort of made me feel accepted.

One of later tournaments was Simla, and I'd definitely have to say the highlight of my season. It was an overnighter, and we got to watch a college duel meet--Air Force vs. Oklahoma [? I think. I'm horrible with names...even in wrestling]. Selina, a manager, and I bunked together, which worked out great. We ended up eating right across the street at Denny's with Coach Cordova, Daniel, and Nick. It was fun. I was freaking out about eating and not making weight the next morning, but it turned out alright. We talked about some of the funniest stuff...those are the greatest people to hang out with :).

The next morning we all piled into the bus and drove the 1/2 hr to Simla HS from where we were staying in Colorado Springs. After we'd gotten there and weighed in, I ended up in the varsity slot because Caleb was feeling sick. Right before the tournament started, the refs said my undershirt was illegal, so we were trying to find one. I was one of the first 3 matches called, on center mat. I was freaking out so bad, because Coach Cordova was still outside getting a shirt for me to wear, I was looking for one myself...and I just wasn't ready.....

Thankfully they called the start of the matches about 10 minutes early and I had time to change. That was really the only time my nerves got severe. The shirt was really big, but that was the best match all season. Coach told me to watch out because "a stud wore that shirt." It was great :D. I took the kid down twice, and made two escapes, six points in all--plus made it the whole six minutes!! He won by points...10 to 6. For a while I was ahead of him. This was HUGE for me. I had gotten absolutely no points the whole season up to this point. It was great and I was so completely ecstatic. During the match I heard the kid's coach telling him to pull it together...which was possibly the best thing I heard the whole year; the best comment I could receive. Just the fact that I was giving him a hard time. It was just awesome...I don't know how to describe it. Coach said that people started watching...and standing up...and pointing.... And Mikey said that the Strasburg section was going absolutely crazy. I didn't hear any of it, but that's really flattering...and sort of embarrassing -.-.

And get this lol! ...we met a man at my Uncle's retirement party who was at Simla, watched that match, and pointed me out to his son there. I was beet red lol. It's funny how it's such a small world though.

Anyhow. That was the only time the whole season I made it through the whole match-every other one I got pinned. The next match I had, I was dead tired. It would have been great if I'd have had him the first match instead. Coach was really confident I could have pinned him. I mean, even exhausted, I scored points, and was dominating on top. Normally, I'm no match for a guy upper-body wise...but for this kid, I was. I could chop an arm, do whatever. It was cool. Even though I lost that match, it was still a small success to me, because I'd managed a reversal and was doing well offensively. Things probably would have turned out better if the time for the first period hadn't run out, and it was his choice on the flip. Ah well, Fate.

That tournament...I don't know...it was just great motivation. That I can do well.

And to top it off, when we wrestled for varsity beforehand, I actually took Caleb down [he still won of course]. That was the only time the whole season I managed to pull a move on him, and Cordova said he looked pissed, heh. *shrug* I was extremely happy I was able to do that.

Dad wasn't there for those matches though...he came later. I wished he could have seen that. And Tony.

Mom, Uncle Jim, Aunt Peg, and Nelly-Anne were there though. And they taped the two matches too, I think. I still really want to see those, because I know if I can see what I'm doing wrong, it'll be easier for me to fix it.

A little while before Simla, my elbows bruised really bad. They'd been temperamental for a while, but then it got to the point when they were touched lightly they hurt. Mostly my right one. At that point I'd been wrestling Caleb regularly instead of Will. Ironically, I didn't tell the Coaches about my condition, Caleb did. I guess he was tired of me always going 'ow'. Don't blame him o.O. My right elbow was all red and swollen, and Coach Stone was a little worried about it. We iced it and the works. It made a quite fascinating bruise the size of my whole hand. It was one of those things where you could say, "I'm a wrestler" and brandish it for proof.

Another thing that really stuck, is when Nick said something to the effect that, 'You have to take it "if you want to play with the big dogs,"' of my bruise. And I agreed. It's just something that played in the back of my mind a lot in practice.

I guess around the same time-later in the season- Mikey said that I was the only girl in our 2A region. I hadn't realized it until then. It was sort of like "...Whoa. I guess so." It was just...weird o.O.

This needs to go in here somewhere, because it bothers me quite a lot...and I suppose here is just a good place as any.....

The only thing I have a problem with girls wrestling is when they're like, "OH MY GOD HE TOUCHED ME!" Well, yeah. You picked a predominately male sport where the moves are not designed for comfort or the fact two genders might be wrestling each other. That's what happens. They're almost more afraid of 'touching you' and being called a pervert than losing to you. It's not intentional. So stop complaining and deal with it.

....Now...on with life....

After the High School season was over, Jon started wrestling again as his PeeWee season began. I ended up entering in the tournament at Kiowa that had a 14 and under age group. That's when I made my first and only pin. I wasn't doing bad considering I hadn't done anything wrestling-wise for about a month. There were only 5 of us in our weight group as well.

My first match, I made the first takedown, and I could almost hear him going, "Oh shit." Hah. He won though...I can't remember if it was by pin or fall. My second match was the pin. Oh man...it was great. After dominating the whole match, I pinned him in the end of the second period. My arms were killing me, I was tired, and at that point it felt like any other match. It was only later it fully hit me that I won, that my hand was raised at center mat, that I didn't walk off the mat the loser.

At first I didn't really consider it a win. He was butchered...kinda like me. I sort of feel sorry for him too. It was only his second tournament, and he'd just been pinned by a girl. Not the best for his self-esteem lol.

Coach was ecstatic about the whole thing of course. I finally had the feeling that I had managed to pull off something right for once in my life when he gave me a hug, saying he was proud of me.

My third match, I made a stupid choice and got pinned first period. Eh. It happens. But because of that one win, I got 4th place. And the referee also gave me an Outstanding Sportsmanship award...which...I was sort of surprised to receive.

A lot of the time, I wish I had started wrestling at a younger age. The little girls are inspiring, out there on the mat. Sisters Bree and Kacy are from Bennet and Hope is from Byers. Kacy and Hope are 'veterans', wrestling for a couple years now, and both are a force to be reckoned with. It was Bree's first year, and she's doing incredibly well. There are others as well...but those three are the ones I saw frequently, and I'd go around and watch their matches when I could. That same tournament, Kacy took first in her weight class. It's great. These younger girls, 7 or 8 maybe, wrestling their hearts out, and winning. It's just evidence that guys don't start getting stronger until Junior High or High School.

For me, I think the best thing about wrestling itself are the tournaments. Because that's when you can go out and wrestle someone you've never wrestled before and try your moves on someone who doesn't know your style; doesn't know what you're going to do next. I'd have to say I learned more from my tournaments than in practice... Because in practice you learn the moves, but you really can't execute them realistically until a match. That's when you really see what you need to work on in your technique and figure out the things you need to learn or counter.

Coach Stone did help me out and was a great coach, but seemed to not really know how to instruct a girl. I sort of found it funny since he has two girls of his own ^^. As a result Coach Cordova was the one who worked with me most. I'm extremely grateful for his patience and support and putting up with me when I just didn't get it. And the team for supporting me as well. They're a great bunch of guys.

Now it's sort of this innate pride, when I put on my singlet in Strasburg Indian colors and Tony's initials. That this is what I want to be doing.

Some ending, huh?

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Comments would be great; spelling, grammar, flow, the subject, or just how you feel. :)