Not Enough

The trees are flying by, turning into a whirl of green with some red and orange specs. This trip has once again been a waste and car rides just make it worse. I'd asked for the radio, but there are only commercials. Now there's a song! The first five chords play through the speakers; hey I know this song.

"I don't wanna lose you, I don't wanna use you just to have somebody by my side."

I sing quietly to myself so my mother doesn't yell. These memories have suddenly flowed from some locked place deep inside my head. Days of an August summer where there was love. Alyssa and Peter laughing not fighting, they'd never lose each other, but would she use him?

"And I don't wanna hate you I don't wanna take you but I don't wanna be the one to cry."

Very much Alyssa, I don't think she could ever truly hate Peter. It's just not possible, but I suppose it could happen since he made her cry.

"That don't really matter to anyone, anymore but like a fool I keep losing my place and I keep seeing you walk through that door."

I guess, perhaps I overstepped the line of being a friend. I tried to help by talking to Alyssa, but instead I made life worse for all. Tends to be pattern for me. The chorus is played and the words slowly leave my lips. I caused the riff between Peter and Alyssa, and than I got criticized for something I never wanted to do.

"Now I could never change you and I don't wanna blame you baby you don't have to take the fall."

Peter can't be changed, nor would anyone want him to be different. Alyssa wants his love, something he cannot give, at least not the way she wants. So she falls and I'm forced to watch them both suffer.

"Yes I may have hurt you but I did not desert you maybe I just want to have it all."

Peter hurt Alyssa far more than I ever thought feasible. It wasn't intentional, but he had to tell her where he stood. He never did abandon her, he was always right there, she just didn't always know.

"It makes a sound like the thunder it makes me feel like rain And like a fool who will never see the truth I keep thinking something's gonna change."

The arguing, the crying, the pain and guilt that rest in the pit of my stomach seems to grow each day. I knew it would never be the same the day she left, but I could wish. The chorus starts up again and I listen closely to the words this time, than the bridge beings. Not something I can completely relate too, but I guess in my heart I can feel the emptiness from where there used to be two best friends.

Peter and I have drifted apart, I guess there's a time when big brothers need to let the little sisters grow up. Alyssa and I talk even though she's at college now. I constantly worry about her, but I've learned that this time I cannot protect her.

"And there's a Danger in loving somebody to much. And it's sad when you know it's your heart they can't touch. There's a reason why people don't stay who they are, cause baby sometimes love just ain't enough."

I have learned a lot from Peter and Alyssa. Much to the dismay of society love doesn't conquer all. Love causes more problems than it solves. People change when they get there hearts yanked out and stomped on and no matter how much someone else love's them, it's just not enough.

"Baby sometimes love, just ain't enough"

Song: "Sometimes Love Just Ain't Enough"

Words and music by PATTY SMYTH and GLEN BURTNIK