April 2004

"I like who I am

But I guess you don't."

I am simple in the sense that I know what I want to do with my life. Its not a big mystery, it's a plan that I have thought all the way through. No one can tell me no or change my mind, I am doing what I want and that is the final word.

"I think that I can

But you think I won't

Amount to anything at all."

They all say I should do something important with my life. I should find a job that makes money; I should marry a rich guy, a handsome guy. I'm sorry but last time I looked guys were simply there to break your heart and jobs that made money were hardly fun. I want a job that I will enjoy, that I will be able to come home from every night and wake up in the morning thinking today will be fine. I don't need some rich guy, after all dogs are more loyal.

"If you love me

You sure show it strange,

Is there anything that you wouldn't change?

I can't be your paper doll."

People who seem to think that to love someone is to tell them what's best for them are absolute idiots. I know what's best for me and if you people have an issue with it than I suggest you shut up about it, you don't spend your existence in my shoes. I am not going to be some "paper doll" that will be told what to wear and how to act. I am capable with dressing myself and acting the way I want to.

"I wanna be perfect,

But I'm me

I wanna be flawless,

But you see

Every chip,

Every crack,

Every dance,

Every little mistake,

I wanna be perfect

Just like you,

But there's only so much that a girl can do

When I look in the mirror,

What I see,

it makes sense to me,

Perfectly

Perfectly"

I wake up in the same body everyday. I see the same people and I deal with it. I wanna be just like one who can carry herself with dignity and pride. I wanna be perfect so everyone will notice. I don't want flaws that will cause my downfall, I just want to be able to do everything right.

"I like worn out shoes,

you like high heels.

And fantasies,

But I'm what's real.

I guess you could say the shoe, don't fit."

It shouldn't matter how dress, what shoes I wear. All that matter is that I'm there, that I live in and for the moment. I'm sick of people thinking I should be one way or another. I am what I am and that's all that I'll ever be.

"Maybe I'm from Venus, you're from Mars.

My imperfections are what they are,

I guess one of us must deal,

With it."

I realize I'm not beautiful, I know that. I can live with the flaws. I just wish others could. I hate being compared to other people who I know are better than me. I hate being told to change who I am, just to please this person or that one. I just want to be me.

"I wanna be perfect,

But I'm me

I wanna be flawless,

But you see

Every chip,

Every crack,

Every dance,

Every little mistake,

I wanna be perfect

Just like you,

But there's only so much that a girl can do

When I look in the mirror,

What I see,

it makes sense to me,

Perfectly

Perfectly"

I wish I could be just like her. I do, and I'm not afraid to admit it. I wish I could just be like Karen and Shelley, but I'm not them. I am Alyson Michele Tockstein, so I better get used to it.

"I try to fit in the mold that you've made

But I'm tired of playing this little charade"

I am sick and tired of creating illusions just so people will accept me. I realize I'm not the ideal teenage girl but who said variety was a bad thing? I realize my teachers may not like me because I'm not one to take orders and you know what? That's too damn bad! I'm not gonna change just to score a few points on some stupid test. What good is school, if it teaches you to change who you are?

"I wanna be perfect,

But I'm me

I wanna be flawless,

But you see

Every chip,

Every crack,

Every dance,

Every little mistake,

I wanna be perfect

Just like you,

But there's only so much that a girl can do

When I look in the mirror,

What I see,

it makes sense to me,

Perfectly

Perfectly"

"Perfectly" by Huckapoo

Featured in the Disney Channel Original Movie

Pixel Perfect