That's Not

How it happened!

Dedicated to: Ciara Stokes
Laura Smith
Sean Thomas Genochi
Ken Waide
David Mc Garry
Brendan Kelly

Chapter 1: "Well in a nut shell"

"Give me the lighter now!" Bizzy demanded as Mr. Jones the English teacher droned on and on. No one was listening, there was no point as the mid term was in four days and all work would soon be joyously forgotten. Cokup held a white lighter, with a naked woman on it, outstretched on his palm and pulled it back just as Bizzy made a dive for it before falling from his chair. Mr. Jones stopped reading and looked at him, as did the whole class.
"Mr. Bizart" Mr. Jones said sharply, "Is there a problem with your chair that renders you unable to sit on it?"
"No Sir!" Bizzy said replacing himself on the seat and pretending to take an interest in Roman Literature. After a long evil glare Mr. Jones carried on reading. Cokup flicked Bizzy in the back of the head and laughed.
"Cokup, Biz shut up you stupid dicks!" Kim whispered from behind both of them before continuing to fix her long black hair. The door to the classroom opened and Gaz strolled in and dumped himself back into the seat beside Bizzy. He'd just returned from the toilet, which pretty much meant a quick fag or admiring his gorgeous self in the mirror. He was gorgeous and he and everyone knew it. His brown hair was gelled up slightly showing off his blonde highlights given to him by his holiday in Majorca with his older sister Josie, also adding to his natural tan. Kim blanked the minute he walked in. she saw him as god, the one and only and would teach herself to walk on water to get herself anywhere near snogging him.
"Amy" Ritchie said huskily as he pulled a few strands of Amy's golden ponytail, "Amy!"
"What?" She answered turning slightly in her chair, her chestnut eyes drooping with boredom.
"Does she always dribble during English or is that new?" Ritchie asked nodding to two seats ahead of him, Kim, who was drooling over Mr. Hottie in front of her, Gaz, who was seated next to Bizzy and Cokup.
"It's Gaz!" Amy sighed, smiling at Ritchie before whispering to Kim, You're drooling! Kim awakened from her dreamy place that involved her, Gaz and a bed. Kim shook her head and pulled out her timetable. Lunch in a minute. Amy winked at Bizzy and mouthed "Meet me in the locker room" just as the bell rang. Everyone fled out of the class praying that soon Mr. Jones would get old enough and die and be replaced with a hot young woman teacher or so Ritchie said. Cokup swung his Nike bag over his shoulder as he produced a can of 'Lynx' and the white lighter from his pockets.
"You coming to the bathroom sugar lips?" He asked Amy.
"Cokup you shit head! Bite me!" Amy said looking him up and down before grabbing the front of Bizzy's jacket and began pulling him away to the locker room.
"You're just upset cause you can't have some!" Cokup smiled grabbing his crotch as some unlucky first years walked by, "There's a little bit of Cokman for everyone!" The first years fled scared for their virginities even though there were two boys among the group, suppose you can never be too careful.
"Shut up Peter!" Kim sighed and caught Ritchie's sleeve and started for the canteen.
"What did she just call me?" Cokup asked a couple of times getting louder each time as he watched Kim's bag disappear into the blur of uniforms.
"Peter!" Gaz said, "Peter, you know your actual name, the one on our register!" Cokup looked shocked.
"Never let anyone refer to me as Peter again!"
"Uwh! You using big words like 'refer' now?" Gaz questioned knowing he was being a wreck the head.
"Shut up!" Cokup said pretending to be pissed off as he started a stroll in the direction of the guy's toilets.
"Peter!" Gaz laughed. Cokup started running. "Peter, Peter PETER!" Gaz called after him nearly falling over himself laughing.
Gaz walked through the doors of the canteen and spotted Bizzy's gorgeous little sister, Candice. Only problem was if Bizzy knew Gaz liked his sis' he'd get his heads smashed through a car window.
"Hey Gaz, Looking Good!" Candice smiled slapping his ass as he passed.
"Ah! That's just plain wrong, now what would Bizzy say?" Kim chirped from behind them. Gaz shook his head away from Candice's saucy glare.
"What? I mean hi Kim no I don't like Bizzy's little sister!" he gulped and dodged between Ritchie and a bin and made a dive for the can machine.
"Gaz" Someone called from down the corridor, echoing from the doorway of the guy's toilets.
"Gaz" he looked up and couldn't see anyone. His coke came out and he grabbed it and flicked it open.
"Gary!" Gaz spit some coke out through his nose half laughing, half shocked someone knew his actual name. He wiped away the spit from his nose. He saw Cokup glaring at him from the toilets, telling him to come here. He sighed, rolled his eyes and traipsed down the corridor and was pulled through the door by Cokup who was going crazy. Gaz glanced around the room and nearly dropped his can; the bloody bin was on fire.
"What the hell? You idiot! Learn how to put out a fag when you're finished with it Fuck sake!"
"Stop yelling at me and help me! What am I gonna do?" Cokup said wiping his cheeks almost off with one hand while flinging an empty 'Lynx' can across the room with another, where it landed with a splash in a toilet.
"'Lynx'?" Gaz questioned, "'Lynx' you Dumb ass! You're not getting me done for this!" The fire looked as though it was going to ease slightly.
"Shut up and give me that!" Cokup said nervously trying desperately to hold onto his manliness as he grabbed the can of coke off of Gaz and emptied it into the bin. The fire flared up for an instant and then suddenly died. Gaz turned to the sink, turned on a tap and cupped his hands letting them fill with water. He moved slowly so the water wouldn't spill and turned toward the bin, motioning to throw it in; a second later he turned to Cokup and threw the water all over the crotch of his trousers.
"That's for being you!" Gaz smile before gazing at him and strolling out the door. Cokup could already hear everyone in his head: "Wet pants!" He had to go get drunk!

"What time's your next free class?" Bizzy breathed as he kissed Amy's neck and she threw her arms around him. She had her back against the door to F4, one of the classrooms beside their lockers, as she smiled. Bizzy's lips found hers. She pulled away eyes wide with wow. She giggled taking all of him in: His gorgeous Blonde hair, his smoky eyes that twinkled in a sweet reassuring way, his soft lips, his uniform hiding his fit body and his hands, his caring hands which held her waist whenever he kissed her. Bizzy kissed her neck as far as the collar of her school shirt let him, he tugged at it slightly to go further, happy to think what they'd be doing if in her bedroom considering it was officially legal. He breathed in her Ralph Lauren Perfume.
"I love you!" He smiled moving his head back up to look her in the eyes and kissed her briefly. The bell rang and they heard people pour into the locker room on the other side of the door. Bizzy took her hand and guided her through the hustle and bustle to meet Kim and Ritchie.

"Gaz, get off me!" Kim said playfully, really enjoying every moment of being in Gaz's arms. She flicked her hands through his gorgeous bleached fringe.
"Oh! Give it up and shag her already!" Cokup said holding his bag in front of him.
"Shut it you dirty twat!" Bizzy said, suddenly appearing out of nowhere with his arm wrapped around Amy. Amy punched Cokup's bag and it fell out of his hands.
"Ahh!" Gaz said, "Look at his wet panties!" Cokup panicked and ducked down to grab cover from his bag. Kim breathed in his Lynx, thinking wow Gaz's arms are around me and she laughed,
"Cok you went to the toilet yet you didn't see the need to unzip your trousers before pissing?"
"Ha! Ha! That's painfully funny, oh! No wait that's just painful!" Cokup said trying to hide his scarlet face.
"What class you in next?" Ritchie said appearing beside Amy, trying to change the rather unusual subject.
"Like you care!" Cokup said getting too pissed off to even describe. He turned, with bag slung over his shoulder giving full view of his unfortunate trousers, and barged straight into Mr. Rodgers, their school principal, smoking bin in his hand. Cokup stepped backwards slightly as he eyed both Mr. Rodgers and the bin nervously. Mr. Rodgers was a principal so the job description read: be old, annoying and pure evil but to their luck he threw in being a complete exaggerating lunatic 100% free. "Just the young man I was looking for, Mr. Coleman! Mr. Rodgers said as the grin he already wore grew overpoweringly large. "I'm guessing you know what this is?" He continued holding up the bin. "Yes, eh! It's a bin sir!" Cokup said smartly. Amy and Gaz stifled laughs and watched in amusement as Cokup did the only thing he was good at, annoying the hell out of teachers. "Not only is it a BIN, it's your mess of what's left of a bin!" Mr. Rodgers roared. Cokup felt like a little kid at the zoo watching the loins until one of the lions roars and its breath stinks and then the kid can't remember why he was watching the lion in the first place. "But sir, how can you be so sure that I did this?" Cokup muttered.
Mr. Rodgers grinned again giving Cokup an uncontrollable urge to punch out his few remaining teeth. Mr. Rodgers held up Cokup's journal. "I believe you left this under the sink in the boy's toilets during your little episode!" Cokup opened his mouth to reply. "Don't even think about it! You come to your year head with me and I'll sort you out!" Mr. Rodgers growled. He then turned and headed for Base area F, the 5th years base area, to find Mr. Delaney, their year head, Cokup trailing him. "That wasn't as funny as it usually is!" Gaz mumbled. "Yeah!" Kim agreed, "And he didn't even notice that Cokup wet his pants!" The bell sounded ending lunch.

"Assholes!" Cokup thought to himself as he took another swig from his vodka bottle and watched cars go by in a blur as he sat on his front step guzzling his 2nd bottle of vodka. His mom's voice rang through his head: "Suspended again? I'm so disappointed in you!" His eyes blurred even more and he took another swig from the bottle. He had just swallowed it when the alcohol took over his body, his eyes closed and he collapsed into a coma on his front step. The vodka bottle tumbled out of his hand to the bottom step and leaked out everywhere.