I watch
As the last lonely red leaf of autumn
Drops off the tree
And sails on the wind down the valley
I wish
I wish that I could fly away
From all this pain and hurt around me
No one knows about my life
But that's because no one cares
I feel my sanity slipping away
As I watch outside my window
Why does no one know my inner hurt?
Its because no one cares
As I fall deeper into my madness
I try to remember the good times
But I fail even remembering one
I look at my sleeping mother
She does not know of my inner dying
Just of my physical death
My physical illness
I cannot explain to anyone what is going through my mind
With my body giving up
And my mind caving in
I see not point in carrying on
They'll miss me, sure
But only for now
Soon they'll forget
Soon I'll just be a memory
And then I wont even be a memory
As people block my existence from my mind
But if I try to pull through
I'll still be the nobody I was
The one no one knew nor cared about
And I will still be stuck with my mind
My dying, corrupted mind
There is no point in me surviving
No point for me to try
My only escape from the cage that is my mind
Is death
I shall be truly free then, truly released
Not hiding or being left out
I would be truly happy
My mother stirs in her slumber
And I feel a twinge of guilt
She needs me, she wants me
She has my siblings to care for, yet she has been here the whole time
She doesn't want me to give up
But maybe I have no choice, no decision in this matter
I am merely corpse
Being kept alive by a machine
I am not alive
I am living, but not alive
My mother knows I cared for her
And she for me
But my time has come
My ship has sailed
My life is gone
So now
I take off my oxygen mask
And wait for the inevitable