Ickna Musgraaave and her story

Once upon a time there was a little girl named Ickna Musgraaave and she belonged to a very wealthy family. But this little girl was a very unlucky girl so as luck would have it on her 3rd birthday she fell down an open manhole, which lead straight into a sewer. When her parents finally figured out where she had gone they decided that she would be too stinky to be allowed back into the family. So they divorced her and then they went about their daily lives as usual. 3 weeks later when Ickna arrived at her parents' doorstop her parents told her to get off their property or they'll call the police.

3 years passed. Then 3 years passed again. Then stuff happened. Lots of stuff. Like when she almost got run over by a stampede of hippies (3 times), or when she was electrocuted in a freak lightning storm or when her porridge caught on fire. Anyway someway or another Ickna ended up in some remote 3rd world country where she was working for pennies as a gypsy.

One night she fell asleep and some person who had no where to put their dead elephant decided to staple the elephant to poor, unlucky Ickna. So you can imagine what Ickna thought when she woke up in the morning. Yep she thought, "YAY!!!!! I can now go off to 'The Building where they Give Jobs to People with Dead Animals Stapled to Them inc.'" (a.k.a. TBGJPDAST inc.). So she asked someone for the directions to TBGJPDAST inc. (which was around the corner) and crawled straight there (remember she has go an elephant stapled to her). 3 days later she arrived at the building. On top in BIG lettering there was the words "GENERAL SUPERMARKET", the person had given her the wrong directions. So 3 days later she crawled back to where she started and asked for the directions from a different person. They said it was on the other side of town. So 3 months later she arrived at the building with small lettering under a bush near the front door proclaiming "The Building where they Give Jobs to People with Dead Animals Stapled to Them inc.". Unfortunately it was closed for the holidays. 3 weeks later when the building was back in business Ickna applied for a job.

Unfortunately it takes 3 years for a job application to go through. So she was told to come back in 3 years. 3 years later she came back, but her application wasn't totally filled in right so she had to fill it in again and wait another 3 years. 3 years later she was given a job at spit shining apples. So from 2:00am to 12 midnight all she did was spit, shine, spit, shine, spit, shine, spit, shine, spit, shine, spit, shine, spit, shine, spit, shine, spit, shine, spit, shine, spit, shine, spit, shine, spit, shine, spit, shine, spit, shine, spit, shine, spit, shine, spit, shine, spit, shine, oh yeah, there was a 10 min bathroom break as well. 30 years passed.

On her birthday they were doing an order for a company called 'Apples, Apples, Apples, Apples, Apples, Apples and Bananas'. This was a BIG order. Ickna was too preoccupied to do her spit shining. That was the company that her dad owned. So instead of spit shining, she just shined. At midnight the apples were all looked over. Suddenly the instructor noticed that Ickna's apples were shined without spit. SHOCK HORROR! Ickna was sentenced to eat the apples. *GASP*! Eating apples was the worst offence anyone could commit in that country! So she ate every last apple. Then the police were called in and she was sentenced to daeth by a firing squad. Actually, 3 firing squads. So yeah, her and her elephant were shot numerous times and were maimed beyond recognition and were left to rot in the street.

THE END

The moral of the story is..

NEVER TRUST THE NUMBER 3