Well, there's very little to complain about in my life, and I suppose I probably should spend this time to write of the happy things. The sun shines, I feel at peace, I have two friends who understand something that's very essential to my personality. Fruits Basket is really good for getting a nice perspective on things - Tohru's a good role model for just about anyone since she's so sweet to everyone and grateful for what she has.

Something inside me makes me want to believe that my troubles are all over. Yeah, right, I know better. I'm sick, I have deadlines and due dates sneaking up on me, and I'm writer's blocked. why do I feel so happy? Maybe it's watching so much Furuba. It's really a sweet series that cheers you up from the inside.

I know better, though. You see, my trials are just beginning. I'm going to go through a lot more before it's all truly over and I can rest in happiness. Thinking of heaven, I can't wait.

I know I probably shouldn't try to create for myself a vision of what heaven would be like, since it's definitely beyond my comprehension. But I still can't help but imagine a life within that beautiful jasper-walled city, where the streets are made of gold clear as glass and the buildings are of precious stone. The city that sparkles like a jewel, where the river of life runs through the center and the twelve trees of life grow beside it, producing a different fruit for every heavenly season.

I imagine eternal life, life in heaven, as being perhaps my ultimate dream. Living in the direct presence of the awesome Lord my God. That alone makes me so happy on the inside, like sunshine's been opened inside of me. It makes me want to weep with joy.

In my dream-image, the light is shining. Since I've never lived without an obvious source of light from above, instead of what I suppose would be more of an ambient light from the presence of the Lord in the kingdom, I imagine the light as if there were a sun above. My face warmed by the light, I stare up into the lovely sky from outside a simple house. The temperature is perfect, not too cold and warm without being hot. Inside is a desk with a computer and a blue pen on the table, and paper all around. In my vision of heaven, people do what they enjoy doing, work at what they enjoy working at. I love writing stories, so obviously in the kingdom I'd be a writer, right?

But, no real deadlines, not in eternity. Able to walk outside and have fun with friends even with the next chapter waiting for however long. It wouldn't matter, since there's no time limit on anything, not even life itself.

In my heart in this present reality my tears drop to an invisible ground at the thought that any of my friends, like Lok or anyone else, would miss out on the simple joy of living forever in the presence of the Lord. My physical eyes well with tears at that thought. I want to be able to glomp all my friends cheerfully as we live forever happy together with all the other followers of Christ, living in the love of God. Sins washed away. Beautiful.

I pray every night that more people will get the message of God about this, that most especially the people I know and care about will. I know when people are close to accepting God, and I pray for them the hardest.

Crying, I beg through written words for people to accept the Lord God's love, to live in this eternal paradise some day.