Two men are sitting next to each other on a bus, talking. They're brothers; against the window is LYLE GIBBS, on the aisle is CODY GIBBS. Lyle is older and taller. He's wearing glasses and reading a paperback book. He has a small suitcase at his feet, efficiently packed with the essentials. His hair is neat, and his clothes are stylish, summer clothes: shorts and button-down t-shirt. CODY is younger, his hair is all over the place, and his clothes are not particularly fashionable, but he seems to have a unkempt, unorganized, and unintentional appeal. He took whatever was the least dirty off of his floor, and it worked rather well.

CODY: Lyle, I don't understand why you get the window seat every time.

LYLE: I'm older. Shut up and deal with it.

CODY: (Sticks out his tongue and makes a face. Mockingly.) I'm older. Shut up and deal with it. (Cody sits still for a moment and Lyle goes back to reading.) Can I sit there now?

LYLE: (Not looking up.) No.

CODY: How about now? (There's no response from Lyle) Now? (Still no response) Now? (Lyle turns the page of his book, but is otherwise unresponsive.) Now? Now? Now? Now? (Lyle looks at him, groans, marks his page, closes it, and gets up.) Now?

LYLE: Yes, now. That's why I'm getting up.

CODY: Score!

Cody backs out with his bag, then lyle steps into the aisle, blocking a woman on the way to the bathroom. As Cody fumbles his way into the seat, Lyle looks at her, shrugs resignedly, and motion that Cody is "cuckoo".

LYLE: Sorry.

Cody rolls his eyes. He sits there for a moment, watching out the window and twiddling his thumbs. He takes a crayon out of his pocket and beginnings tapping it against his leg. He looks over to Lyle, who looks back to him over his glasses, then returns to reading. Cody reaches into his bag and pulls out a coloring book. He begins to draw, and soon is laughing to himself. Lyle looks over and rests his book on his lap.

LYLE: Why are there two giant circles drawn on the bottom of Carl the Cucumber?

CODY: Those aren't circles, they're his ba-

LYLE: Yes, Cody. I know.

CODY: (Smiling) And his name isn't Carl the Cucmber. It's Carl the Co-

LYLE: Stop. I don't care.

Cody shrugs and goes back to drawing. He turns to a blank page in the back, and begins scrawling a message, using exaggerated strokes. Lyle looks over, an expression of frustrated anger crosses his face. He rips the book from Cody's hands and looks at it.

LYLE: "Lyle is a stupid fathead." Well, I hope that was worth it.

Lyle carefully puts the book into his bag, and just as carefully zips it back up. Cody is staring at him, mouth slightly open. He "harrumphs" and crosses his arms, and Lyle goes back to reading. After a few moments, he not-so-stealthily tries to get his book back, by leaning forward and trying to unzip the bag, but Lyle smacks him in the back of the head. He sits back up, rubbing the back of his head. He shortly tries the exact same maneuver, with identical results. He begins to try again, but it is actually a deft feint. He grabs Lyle's book and tosses it out into the aisle. Lyle scurries after it, and Cody quickly grabs the bag and unzips it. He is pulling out the coloring book when Lyle returns and tries to pull the bag back. They struggle for a moment and all of the carefully organized contents spill on to the floor.

LYLE: Gah! . you turd!

CODY: Ooooh, nice one.

Lyle stares at Cody for a second, angrily, and then punches him hard in the arm.

CODY: Ow!

Lyle starts to clean up his things and carefully reorganize them in silence. Again, Cody sits in silence for a few moments, rubbing his arm, but quickly becomes bored and agitated.

CODY: I've gotta pee.

LYLE: (looking up) That's nice.

Cody pauses and looks at the seat in front of him for a second.

CODY: I've still gotta pee.

LYLE: Then go, you gigantic retard.

Cody looks back over his seat towards the bathroom and makes a face.

CODY: The bathroom's gonna be nasty.

LYLE: Whatever. Go there, or don't. I just don't want you pissing all over my stuff too.

Cody looks back again, and then tries to get out to the aisle. Lyle is just about finished recollecting his belongings. Cody steps over him, and a tussle ensues, which ends with Cody stumbling out into the aisle and with Lyle's stuff all over the floor again.

CODY: Sorry.

Lyle stares at him, blankly. Cody shrugs and then walks back to the bathroom. He looks into the bathroom, and then runs back to Lyle.

CODY: It's worse than I thought! I think somebody went poo on the floor!

LYLE: Oh, grow up. Just go.

Cody groans and storms back to the bathroom. Just as he reaches the back, a large, overweight, and unhygienic fellow gets out of his seat and plods over to the bathroom. Cody throws his hands in the air and runs back. Lyle has finished picking up his stuff and is reading again. Cody's coloring book is lying on his seat.

CODY: (Makes retching noise) Lyle, this nasty, hairy, gross, fat guy just went in there! I can't go in there now!

LYLE: (He puts down his book on top of Cody's, then takes off his glasses and folds them in his hands.) Then what do you propose we do? (Cody squats down and leans in close to Lyle, still in the aisle.)

CODY: How about I go in the girl's room? They probably actually go in the toilets.

LYLE: Good idea. Go do it. (Cody doesn't move.)

LYLE: What?

CODY: What?

LYLE: What?

CODY: What?

LYLE: Sto-

CODY: What?

LYLE: Stop it, you moron. (He shakes his head and roles his eyes.) What are you waiting for?

CODY: (Gravely) What (Lyle raises his fist threateningly, and Cody recoils, but continues) if a girl tries to go in while I'm in there? She'll see me when I get out. (Lyle lowers his fist, hearing the legitimacy.)

LYLE: So what do you want from me?

CODY: What do you think? I need you to cover for me.

LYLE: Alright. Sure. I'll tell anybody who sees you that it's okay because you're a transvestite.

CODY: Let's go. (Cody walks half-way down the aisle before stopping mid- step in realization.) Now, seriously. (He fidgets, awkwardly. Then he takes on a serious look.) Alright, you've got a choice. You can help me gain access to a toilet, or I can go here.

LYLE: Oh, for Christ's sake, Cody. Let's go. (The two move back to the rear of the bus. Cody looks around, stealthily, and slides into the bathroom. Lyle stands watch, pretending to be waiting to go. A young woman walks up to him while he's looking in the other direction.)

WOMAN: Excuse me? Is someone in there?

LYLE (Surprised): Uh, yeah. My brother. (He realizes his folly. She nods and stands there, glancing at him. She's pretty, and he's slightly smitten. He stutters.) I-I-its okay. He's uh, a-a-a transvestite. (The woman looks at him like he has three heads.)

WOMAN: Ok. (She pauses for a second.) What do you mean, it's ok?

LYLE: It's ok that he's using the woman's bathroom. Since he's, I mean, she's really a woman. (Lyle is too embarrassed to look her in the face.)

WOMAN: Woman's bathroom? There's only one. It's for everyone. (She says this politely, as if it makes no difference to her. A look of horror crosses Lyle's face. Before he can say anything, Cody walks out of the bathroom, looking satisfied. He walks straight past them, and the woman watches him as he passes. After he is out of earshot, she turns back to Lyle,) She makes a pretty attractive man, if you ask me. (She smiles and winks at him, and goes into the bathroom. Lyle slams his head on the wall and walks back to his seat. He sits down next to Cody, who is still looking satisfied.)

LYLE: Well, I hope you're happy. You made me look like a moron in front of that girl. There was only one bathroom, did you know that? (He's not expecting an answer.

CODY (turning to him, a smile spreading across his face.) Yes. (Lyle looks at him, shocked. Cody breaks out laughing)

LYLE: You're kidding me. You bloody asshole. You did all this just to embarrass me? This is why I tell people that you're adopted, do you know that?

CODY: I could hear you trough the wall, you know. You sounded pretty suave there. (He laughs again and Lyle just stares at him for a few moments. Then he picks up his book from the floor and goes back to reading.) You're just can't take a joke. (Lyle stares at him, but Cody is staring out the window, so he misses the message. Soon, Cody looks back to him.) Wait, you tell people I'm adopted? Jerk.