Death and Love are two very big things, aren't they? I don't think they're always completely understood, though. Death is almost always a bad thing, but it can be good sometimes. And while Love can be an incredibly beautiful and wondrous thing, sometimes it can be even worse than Death. This has been illustrated to me in some very mixed ways.
I have an unhappy pattern in my life. Every spring, I become depressed, and every spring, someone I love dies. My mother has always told me that a funeral is not a place to mourn for someone who has passed, but to celebrate someone who you loved. I always thought she was being weird when she said stuff like that. I still think that, but I also understand what she means. When someone dies, it's good and natural to cry and mourn over losing them. But I shouldn't just think about how much I miss them. I should try to remember why I miss them. Because they were a wonderful person, and I loved them very much. The most important thing to remember is that they wouldn't want me to waste away crying over them.
Like I said, Love is also an insanely powerful thing. But like all power, it can be just as easily used for pain as it can for joy. Sometimes it can do both. It all depends on how you treat Love. Some people put Love under different titles, like "crushes," "lust," or "true love." I don't believe in that, which gets me in trouble sometimes. I believe every emotion is just another representation of Love. How a wonderful thing like Love can hurt has been demonstrated for me, recently as well. When your Love for someone starts being more a Love for the ability to say "I'm in Love," that's where the problems begin. I had a girlfriend because I wanted to be able to say "I have a girlfriend." I had an unrequited love because I wanted to be able to say "I have an unrequited love." I hurt two very excellent girls doing that, and I almost tore myself apart with it all. So in the end, it really wasn't worth it, just to be able to say something. Instead, I'm trying to be honest with myself. I'm trying not to think about how much I love a person, instead, I'm thinking of why I love a person. The most important thing for me to remember is that they wouldn't want me to tear myself apart over them.
My belief is that Death and Love are more intertwined than they seem. When my older brother died, it taught me to love what and who I still have, because they might not be there tomorrow. My grandma died last year, and her cats died this year. My grandpa is now seriously considering getting married again. It's not that he didn't love my grandma, he did and he does to this day. He is one of the most amazing men I know in his incredible Love for things. And when he gets to Heaven, he'll be sitting at the kitchen table with my grandma, just like he always was. But right now, he's hanging out with another woman, who both he and my grandma knew for a great deal of their lives. And that's good. That's healthy. They'll be there for each other. Knowing these things, I know that even though I screwed up pretty badly this year in the realm of Love, even though I have the sucky pattern of Death, I know that someday things will work out. I'll be with someone I love, who loves me back. And when they die, I'll remember they're life and smile. And I'll make a damn fool of myself at a dance.

There is only one irreversible change: Death. Make the best of it.