I have a dream...

THE YAOI REVOLUTION

It had happened.

It would have to happen eventually, the powers that be were so busy fighting each other that they were oblivious to the forces growing under their very noses. When they noticed, it was far, far too late. They were now just the tip of the world iceberg, and everyone else wanted a say.

The slashers had arrived, and no amount of het, denial or lawsuits could stop them.

The first sign that they were ready to emerge from the crysalis of the internet were the / shaped grafitti on city walls. 'Slash' was found written more often than gang names and children's notebooks were no longer full of 'Lucy4George', but of 'Frodo4Sam'.

Then, known homophobes began to disappear, homophobic sites became ghost sites, crumpling under the weight of countless flames, the creators chased out by angry slashers.

Large, mysterious donations arrived at the doors of pro-gay sociaties, and GLBT days were packed to record numbers.

The slashers that had emerged in the Internet boom had grown up, coming into positions of power and preparing to make the world a better place. The website 'Slash Revolution' was the hub for the new world order.

As the war on terror had ecalated, the younger generation, the teenagers who had found themselves helpless and ignored, unable to halt the growing deathcount had retreated to the Internet and founded thousands of slash sites in honour of fantasy heroes who made love rather than war. In fear of the dreaded Mary-Sue plague, they had decided to make the characters gay rather than creating new love interests.

As this inceased, tolerance to GLBT also increased, as did a longing to change the world, where the only wars would be flames sent via the internet, where biological warfare would be restricted to computer viruses and the collateral damage being millions of electrons.

So the slashers waited, patiently, gaining positions of power until only a few close-minded old farts were left.

They hunted down homophobes, dug up their dirt and had them arrested or discredited, gave money and flamed, flamed, flamed.

Then the first slasher president was elected. "First woman president!!" the papers screamed, still oblivious that the sex of the president was that last of their problems.

She went to terrorist states armed with nothing but a laptop and opened their eyes to the glories of slash. Internet access was made free and computer prices were dropped, free internet cafes opened, and psychiatrists trained and went into the world to show homophobes that theirs was not the way. Churches that once praised war and condemmed gays now preached that love, all love, should come above all other emotions.

There were, of course, problems. Authors were furious at first, but were placated by increased royalties and were reminded that their books would still be bought in order to keep things 'in cannon'. JK Rowling, Anne Rice and others were told that a bit of boyonboy love would be appreciated, although Skull Bearer had to be forcibly detached from Tracy Hickman while begging her to make Raistlin and Dalamar an item.

Far harder to placate were the big industries.

Slash had overtaken tobacco and alcohol in addictiveness, and few others had the patience to try other drugs. Benson and Hedges were furious at the rapidly descending sales and demanded compensation. They were utterly ignored.

Others such as Warner bros, sworn nemesis of the slash community were more persistent. They and the last homophobes protested that slash created badly adjusted children. The slashers replied that -they- were the ones either in prison or therapy, and if they insisted, children that were known slashers would come forward to be examined by top psychotherapists. They were found to be happy, well adjusted thirteen year olds and Warner bros's case collapsed.

Meanwhile, the law industry was pushing through all the legislation they could to make sure GLBTs could enjoy all the rights a straight person could. The war office brokered peace where only violence had been offered, the war leaders spending too much time on the internet instead of getting angry at other leaders. Peace was achieved between Isreal and Palestine when the leaders realised that they were both Legolas/Haldir shippers and spent the whole negotion time sharing their favourite fics. this completely killed any desire to continue to war. The land was shared fairly and PC world was invited to open a chain of stores across both lands.

The computer bussinesses were becoming richer and richer as people bought more and more computers, so governements began to research into fully recyclable computers that were easy to maintain, repair and keep.

Other than the occasional protest when a film/program/author killed a slashable character, things had begun to calm down. What had been called the 'Yaoi Revolution' was finally settling down, while prejuduices still remained, they were now seen as mental abnormalities to be set right rather than be nurtured as they had been in less enlightened age.

As many now came out as gay or lesbian, knowing that they could now wed, recieve rights and live the happy, fulfilling lives that had once been denied to them, the birth rate went down, there was no longer a scramble for living room, needs for natural rescouces lessened, as did the amount of food needed. There was no longer a need to destroy the natural world to survive, there was enough food to go around so no-one starved, battery farming became a thing of the past.

Many people who may have estwhile been enemies found common ground in slash, while even religious fanatics admitted that while yes, the bible did say 'Thou must not lie with a man as with a woman', that was in an old and forgotten part that no-one really followed anyway, while Jesus did say to love everyone, and he had been full of good ideas.

And one Christmas, Skull Bearer recieved a book by Tracy Hickman full of Raistlin/Dalamar slash.

And they all lived slashily ever after.

The end.