Epilogue

Dear Liz,

Things are going “swimmingly”, as they say here. I didn’t want to say anything before out of fear of jinxing things, but the move worried me at first. The long distance thing, though, just wasn’t cutting it, and my phone bill was starting to rival my rent. But the new job is going well and, thanks to the contacts I made in San Fran and Paris, I’ve secured a few commissions that I hope will lead to even greater things. Just you wait Lizzie. One day you’ll be able to say you knew be back when I was a nobody, but don’t worry. I plan to remain the ever so humble soul I’ve always been, and if I get too big an ego I’m sure Seba will happily deflate it before it gets out of control.

Speaking of Seba, after an initial bout of homesickness he settled in quite well. In fact, I think a few of his students have developed a crush on their foreign teaching assistant, and I suspect he even enjoys it, that preening peacock. I admit, I’m a teeny tiny wee bit jealous... alright so it's not so teeny tiny, but this time we’re a lot more open about things, so I’m not worried. As Seba reminded me, they can only look. I get to touch.

One other thing that I’m not worried about is Tanya. She still writes and calls and sends the occasional care package to Seba – she still calls him “Bastian” or “Tiger” which drives me nuts – and she and Jonathan moved to New Zealand of all places. Anyway, she’s planning a visit this year, and chances are they’ll be staying in our modest little flat. I still don’t like her all that much, but she’s Seba’s friend and he’s like a father to Jonathan; he even calls him “uncle”, so I’m willing to give her a chance as long as she stops calling me “cutie” and “grumpy” and “sexy” and “hot buns” and whatever other ridiculous pet names she manages to dream up. It should be very… interesting.

Speaking of old acquaintances, Claire still emails me from time to time. There’s a lot I’m sure she doesn’t tell me; she is Amon’s friend first and foremost, but she keeps me up to date. Amon still hates my guts, naturally, but he’s coping, and maybe one day he’ll be ready to forgive. I did care about him, Liz, and I hate that I hurt him. There are moments when I’m happy and fulfilled in this life of mine with Seba, then suddenly I’m overwhelmed with guilt. Sometimes to reach Paradise you have to burn a few bridges, but it doesn’t make the destruction left behind any less horrible, and I hope he finds peace and some sort of happiness. As for Seba’s past, don’t know how Ethan is doing either. Seba doesn’t have anyone on the inside, so to speak, like I do, but he guesses – or maybe hopes -- that Adrian was there to pick up the pieces. But enough about that…

I almost forgot! Something happened today. On the way home Seba found a stray kitten in a cardboard box by the station. I swear it was love at first sight, so he brought him home, named him Marlow, and he’s sitting in my lap right now purring up a storm. Funny. I never thought myself a cat person before, but I don’t think I’ll be able to imagine leaving him behind on our trip this weekend. Oh, I didn’t tell you about that, did I? Seba and I are taking a short vacation to Bath. I’m so excited! That place is a virtually an open air museum; the Abbey, The Circus, the Roman Baths, the Theatre Royal… Seeing a country alone is okay, but it’s so much more fulfilling to have someone to share it with. Ha, sorry if I sound like a gushing lovesick teenager, but I can’t help it. I guess I’m a big sentimental goof.

But enough about me. How’s “Benny-kun” and how are you? And what did the doctor say on your last visit? Is it a boy or a girl? Did you pick a name? Oh Liz, I’m so happy for you. I’m grinning like an idiot right now, and I promise when the time comes we’ll both fly there to be with you come hell or high water.

(Coffee break.)

TOBE SUCKS… but he’s good at it.

Very funny. Stupid, dorky Seba wrote that while I was away, and he refuses to let me delete it. If I do I don’t get any of the cookies he’s baking. He’s such a manipulative meanie. I love him. He’s still at it too, reading over my shoulder, teasing me and making witty remarks as I type. If he wasn’t so damn sexy I’d kick his ass.

Write back. Send pictures. Call. I miss you so much, and Seba does too. Often I stop and think how fortunate I am to have been given this second chance. Not many people get that, too consumed by hate, but those people didn’t have annoying best friends like you to pester and manipulate them relentlessly. I used to think I lost both you and Seba, but I never really did. The distance grew and the bond weakened, stretched to its breaking point perhaps, but it was always there. And this time we’re going to make this work. We’re not so young and naïve now, and although we have our spats – like the one over the late nights he spent at the university last semester and the time he found out I bummed a smoke at work – that’s life, right? Not everything can be roses and rainbows, but from crap, flowers bloom. That being said, thank you for shoveling our crap around for so long. We both send our love, and hope you two will get a chance to visit this summer before you get too big to travel.

Love, kisses, and dirty thoughts,

Tobechan and Sebakun

P.S. Be nice and maybe we’ll send pervy photos… NOT!