I'll never be that little girl,
Safe in Daddy's arms.
I'll never gain back the years I lost,
I've wandered out of years of coldness,
And I'm disoriented.
I'll never be the perfect one,
Never understood,
You missed your chance,
To see a little girl safe in your arms,
You missed your chance to be my hero.
My childhood days, devoid and cold,
Longing for a gentle embrace,
For fuzzy kisses dancing on my cheekbones.
Piggie-back rides and ice cream,
Trips to the zoo,
These things I can never embrace,
Just some pictures in story books.
I can't escape the past,
Your angry hand, your blazing face.
Posters cover the punch marks you made on my walls,
But nothing can cover the fear you left in me.
You missed your chance,
We can't go back,
I can't be born again.
I'll never be that little girl,
And you'll never truly love me.
Your yelling words still shatter me,
And though I close my door so gently,
Hearing you and my adopted sister speak of sailboats and lumber,
It hurts, Dad.
I'll never truly be the Half-Pint the way she is,
And I'm jealous.
Time can't repair love,
When it was never really there.
Every move I make,
I know it will disappoint you.
I hate your loving embrace with my sister,
Because it's one I never knew,
I hate it when you guys smile at something,
Because it's something I can never make you do.
I'll never be your little girl,
I never was,
And I don't think you regret this.