Torn

Not many people know just how I feel

About the life I live and the homes I belong to

Sometimes not being able to sleep

And other not able to get on hours worth

Not just one place to feel pain but two

Two places to run to but cant because of the people

Two families who don’t care much for a child

See one is a life of guilt and lies with no friends

Where I dare not say no afraid of disappointing someone I love

If I do say no I am bashed at for being selfish and ungodly

Words of pain thrown in my face for one little screw up

Used to their advantage as a babysitter or maid paid with pocket change

Being downgraded and cussed at for expressing my opinion

Hypocrites and liars throw insults at a person who won’t fight back

The other one is a life of fear and temptations

Living day by day hoping not to see one certain face

Knowing if seeing them and making them angry can turn things ugly

One comment and cause a chain reaction of pain words and fists

People who think they are in control of the house

No one agrees and everyone fights

People everyday in and out of the house

Both houses have their good days some better than others

Both houses have a certain extent of love

I am torn between to homes

I pray to god every night  to show me the right path

I feel the only way to settle it is to grow up and move out

Eventually god will show me the way

I am kinda being tossed back and forth until then