THE MUSES AND I

Heya everyone! (hears crickets chirping) … never mind.

It’s past the 4th birthday of the discovery of my muses, which was May 28th. It’s somewhat crossed between an interview with each of the current muses and a biography of how they came into being, and what changes took place that made them, and me into what they were now.

Most of this is true (you decide which). Read if you wanna. I’m not asking for reviews on this. This is just a ‘play’ write for me. Later!

CLAIMER: My muses! The muses are mine!! Kael Ichiryu, Toru Takanami, Jomei Himiya, Sakura Mishousei, Rinji Fujitoyo and Drake Shirogane are MINE!! The events that happen are my concepts!! My stories are mine!! Steal ‘em, then I’ll see and sue your ass in court!!

DISCLAIMER: Well, anything else that you definitely think is not mine (e.g, anime and game titles, anime and game characters)… well, it’s just that. It’s not mine.

V.O - Voice Over. (of either one of the characters or myself)

I.S - Interview Shot. You know, like a scene when the person in the spotlight is being interviewed.

NARRATOR: It was about the end of May 2000, when Neutral stumbled upon these inspirational figments of the imagination commonly called ‘Muses’. It started innocently enough, as a summer-holiday school project: writing a narrative story. Neutral, being inspired by things such as Nintendo’s ‘Legend of Zelda’ and ‘Pokemon’, decided to create the characters akin to the styles seen in the games.

NEUTRAL (I.S): There were originally five ‘muses’ to begin with. Being that I was pretty stupid and simple back then, they weren’t really anything to be impressed with.

NARRATOR: The original muses consisted of five young teens, made up of a silent, yet rather unfeeling hero ‘Joe’, with his trademark blue baseball cap and tight shorts; a brainy, calculating nerd, ‘Greg’, sporting thick, black-framed glasses; a busty blonde female named ‘Clarissa’, with her trademark ponytails, purple overalls and green-and-blue-stripped beanie; ‘Mandy’, a red haired, pink obsessed, fashion guru; and Mandy’s twin, ‘Randy’, a dimwitted, yet athletic jock.

NEUTRAL (I.S): As you can see, they were pretty pathetic then. What, with all the bad clothes and all. I mean, JOE was wearing SHORTS!!

CLARISSA (I.S): Neutral thought blonde, pony-tailed girls were in during that time. The taste eventually changed over the years.

KAEL (I.S): We were pretty, well, more well developed than previous casts, because Neutral had knew better now, and got a whole bunch of ideas that were appealing together, and shoved it all into the muses we are now. But that’s all in the past.

KAEL’S intro

NARRATOR: Replacing the likes of the old, cranky and bland leader Joe, Kael stepped in line to push the concepts of ‘warrior’, or so his name defines.

NEUTRAL (I.S): Oh yeah. Kael had it all, really. He was exactly what I was looking for. He had Link’s (Zelda) charm, righteousness and good looks, Riku’s (Kingdom Hearts) passion and strong will, Squall’s (Final-Fantasy-8) maturity, and Ryu’s (Street-Fighter) martial attitude. He had definitely outshone all of my previous muses I had put together.

KAEL (I.S): I had my doubts with this at first. But as time passed by, the role as a muse definitely solidified.

KAEL’S interview

NEUTRAL: Okay Kael. Hey, so anyway, first question: what is it like between you and the other muses. I mean, describe your relationship with each of them.

KAEL: (thinking) Erm… well… Toru is my best friend, that’s the first thing I’ll say.

(Scene shows Toru and Kael sparring in the dojo)

KAEL: I mean, Toru and I are best buds. He’s loyal, faithful, kind, obedient… he has got the qualities I look for in a student, sidekick and best friend. (nods)

NEUTRAL: What about Jomei?

KAEL: Oh, well. He pretty much gets on my nerves, him with the brooding, birds and all. I mean, sheesh! Tell the guy to lighten up! Then there’s the fact that he’s so uncooperative! He hates to support the team, and no doubt, I think he would rather go solo.

(Scene shows Kael and Jomei arguing heatedly)

NEUTRAL: And Sakura?

KAEL: Well… (thinks again) Sakura is like a little sister. And a crazy one at that! But I still like her all the same. I mean, she’s boisterous, funny, tomboyish, loud and brash, and at the same time, considerate, classy, and respectful as well. I mean, that, I had never seen a girl that can emit the hot and cold traits at the same time before. Err… ‘unique’ is the word that comes to mind first when I think of Sakura.

(Scene shows Sakura jumping up onto Kael from behind)

NEUTRAL: Were there, at times, a more romantic relationship between the two of you?

KAEL: (eye-twitch) EEEW!! No way man!! I like her and all, but I told you! She’s like a SISTER to me! Me and her hitting it off?! I’m calling that incest if you ask me! Why? Can’t a boy and a girl be just friends?

NEUTRAL: (rolls eyes) Gee, touchy subject. Anyway, what about the remaining muses?

KAEL: Well, with Rinji, I’m pretty cool with him, but we just don’t interact much. He’d much rather hang around with Jomei and his birds, I guess…

NEUTRAL: Even though he’s rarely around, what about Drake?

KAEL: (sighs) With Drake, I just simply don’t trust him AT ALL! He never shows up, he always ditches us, he always keeps himself hidden away from our eyes… it’s as if he’s hiding A LOT from us. But that’s all I can say so far. The muses I relate to most would be Toru and Sakura, no doubt. They’re just… likable, I guess.

NEUTRAL: I see… so, what would you do in your spare time?

KAEL: Me? Well, as a muse of action and adventure, I like to spar with Toru and practice my martial arts at my personal dojo. If anything else, I’d go by myself, camping out in the wilderness. Sometimes I’d bring Toru along, but he’s not much of an outside guy, so bleh! Sometimes, he forces himself to go, so just to keep me company, which is pretty sweet. Other than that, it would be just me, away from all that muse stuff, so I can be just myself, you know?

NEUTRAL: You like to fight, don’t ya?

KAEL: Eer, yeah, when it comes to sparring, not actually picking fights with other people like how Jomei and Sakura would. The style I use is a rare. No one’s ever heard of it. It’s called ‘Nasakebukai Ansatsusha’, which means ‘Merciful Assassin’. It’s only taught to would-be vampire slayers.

NEUTRAL: … eh?

KAEL: It’s ONLY used for killing vampires. It’s not meant to be used on normal people or else you could kill ‘em. The style involves quick blows, graceful sweeps, and complicated maneuvers. It’s kind of like a combination of Aikido, Hakke-Sho, Hikka-Ken, Tae-Kwon-Do, Muay-Thai (very deadly martial art), Ninjitsu and GojuRyu. To study this style, it’s recommended that you should also study gymnastics along with it, for flexibility.

NEUTRAL: I see…

KAEL: So what fighting style do YOU use?

NEUTRAL: … eh? Me?

KAEL: Yeah! Well? I asked what style you used?

NEUTRAL: (thinks for a moment) I think I use the style of the ‘Yopporai Yousei’. (snickers)

KAEL: (confused look) … ‘Drunken Fairy’? I’ve never heard of that…

NEUTRAL: Yah huh! I also use the ‘Kichigaijimita Ama’ and the ‘Baka Chikan’. Yopporai Yousei involves weird slaps and spinning moves. Kichigaijimita Ama works best if you’ve got PMS, and it involves a lot of shin kicking, scratching and biting. Baka Chikan is a martial art used mostly by crazy, perverted fangirls, often done on bishies. It involves grappling, groping and attacking of the vital ‘organs’.

KAEL: … The ‘Crazy Bitch’ and the ‘Stupid Pervert’… I have never heard of those either…

NEUTRAL: It’s because you were never part of the fangirl-ya-ya-hood.

KAEL: Wah?

NEUTRAL: (laughs) Anyway, what weapons do you like using, if you are out slaying vampires?

KAEL: (thinks for a moment) Despite that I prefer fighting with my own fists, unarmed, there are a lot of weapons I still like to fight with.

NEUTRAL: Like for example…

KAEL: Strong, wooden poles made of some strong wood. I forgot the name of what it’s called, but the other half of the name contains the word ‘vitae’. Love using those things. - You hear a loud, satisfying crack if you swing and hit the target right.

NEUTRAL: What else is there?

KAEL: Katana’s are cool, but the problem with them is that they’re single-sided, so you have to swivel your wrists to get the right side of the blade in the direction where you want it to swing, so I prefer double-edged, European swords—it works the arm muscles. (flexes to show off) Then there are the twin daggers- one in each hand, and you feel… I dunno… pretty nifty, I guess, or at least, that’s how I feel when I wield them.

NEUTRAL: Anything you don’t like using?

KAEL: Guns. It’s a very cheap and dishonorable way to kill. All you do is just pull the trigger, and that’s it. It’s very lazy and disgraceful. I don’t know why most men are fascinated with them. (shakes head) Neko-Dehs ain’t for me either- too feminine, it’s like something to be used in a cat fight… don’t know how Wolverine can stand them. It’s like having nails that are too long. Bow and arrows are too complicated for me to handle and they’re like the primitive form of guns, so I don’t bother using ‘em.

NEUTRAL: Yah huh… anyway, what do you like eating? (cheesy grin)

KAEL: (looks surprised) Eating?

NEUTRAL: (nods head) Yah! (continues grinning)

KAEL: Well, okay. I prefer the old balance diet routine. Yeah, I’d like to take good care of my body, and keep it in great shape. (pokes tongue out) Ha! But I have to admit, I do love chocolate. I mean, who isn’t a chocoholic? When the opportunity arrives, I simply take the whole chocolate bar in contentedly- (blushes) oh gawd, I just made myself sound like a pig, didn’t I?

NEUTRAL: Er… yeah, you kinda did. Are you single?

KAEL: Umm… yeah. Definitely. But I’m not looking out for love and that.

NEUTRAL: What about a… err… a romantic relationship between you and Toru?

KAEL: (shocked) A RELATIONSHIP WITH TORU!?

NEUTRAL: (sarcastic) Nah!! I mean, the relationship between you and the sofa- YEAH, I MEANT YOU AND TORU!!

KAEL: (wide-eyed) Errr… if Toru’s gay, then it could happen, but I doubt it, since I’m straight. I’m open-minded, but like I said, I’m not interested.

NEUTRAL: So anyway, back to what we were originally talking about, you’re single.

KAEL: Yeah, definitely.

NEUTRAL: Sorry, it’s kinda hard to believe that a guy as good-looking, talented and amazing like you could still be single.

KAEL: (chuckles) Well, believe it, cos I’m just a figment of your imagination you dimwit.

NEUTRAL: (twitches) … oh yeah…

KAEL: Yeah, so next question.

NEUTRAL: Eer… what do you usually do in a day?

KAEL: Well, first it’s the usual, you know, brush teeth, breakfast, get dressed, but I do all that before 5:00 am.

(Scenes shows Kael naked in the shower, the steam covers up his… well… you know…)

KAEL: After that, if Toru and the others are ready by then, I’d take a morning jog with them for some exercise. Nothin’ like a bit of crisp, fresh air in the morn to start the day, eh? Sometimes, if my friends are too lazy, I jog by myself.

(Kael running along the sidewalk with the other muses puffing/panting and lagging behind)

KAEL: After that, by around 9:00 am, we start sparring, practicing in the dojo, and all that. I teach Toru some martial arts and that, so I’m kinda like the teacher as well as the guy who just simply practices.

(Scene shows Kael beating the crap out of Jomei in a sparring match)

KAEL: By noon, lunch, then we have some time to ourselves. Toru and I usually spend our leisure time in his library.

(Scene shows Toru and Kael reading books in a gigantic library)

KAEL: The library is huge man!! There’s enough books to last someone a lifetime! Anyway, it’s good to just spend my time in the library. While my body’s taking a rest, I give my brain some exercise by reading, or probably playing some puzzle games with Toru, if he’s in the mood to. The rest of the afternoon is pretty straight forward and simple. Another hour or two of sparring, then meditation, dinner, well, and then, it’s an early night.

NEUTRAL: Cool!

KAEL: Anything else?

NEUTRAL: What do you look for in a partner romantically?

KAEL: (blushes) … you’re gonna make me answer this, aren’t ya? (eye twitch)

NEUTRAL: Yah huh… (ready to type down the things on keyboard)

KAEL: (sigh) Okay. I guess I’m just looking for someone natural. You know, someone who is comfortable in their own skin, and is happy with who they are. They also have to be loyal and nice. I hate it when people are just plain nasty towards other people weaker than themselves, and I don’t want my date to be cheating on me. (nods) If possible, I’d really like it they appreciate the stuff about martial arts. So yeah. I’m pretty much attracted to the ordinary, plain girl next door. Looks don’t matter, but they way they interact and their personality does.

NEUTRAL: Ahh, how down-to-earth you are. Anyway, I think that’s all we have time for. Thanks dude.

KAEL: (chuckles) No prob.

NEUTRAL: Okay, stay tune next time for the next muse. The Muse of Knowledge, Plots, Strategy and Information, Toru Takanami.

NEUTRAL: There! Your first interview Kael.

KAEL: … greeeaaat… (eye-twitch)

JOMEI: Why does he get to be interviewed first?

TORU: Cos he always is first. (frowns)

SAKURA: When’s it gonna be my turn? Huh-huh-huh-huh-huh?

RINJI: After Jomei.

NEUTRAL: Anyway, gotta cruise. Later.

MUSES: Bye!